Profile for whiskas:
I am an aspiring author (aren't we all)
Single mother of 3
In a relationship
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Best answers to questions:
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- a member for 5 years, 1 month and 9 days
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- has posted 29 stories and 49 replies on question of the week
- They liked 578 pictures, 32 links, 0 talk posts, and 177 qotw answers.
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I am an aspiring author (aren't we all)
Single mother of 3
In a relationship
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» I hurt my rude bits
a couple of weeks ago
I had two small growths removed from my perineal area. nothing serious, a large skin tag and a wart.
unfortunately both got localised infections and I was on anti-biotics for a week and was given sudocreme to put on. the sudocreme did not help so in the end the male nurse gave me instillagel. only trouble is I have to wear gloves so my finger does not go numb, push my glasses to the end of my nose and bend over so I can see what I am doing in the mirror.
cue the window cleaner turning up a day early...
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 22:01, More)
a couple of weeks ago
I had two small growths removed from my perineal area. nothing serious, a large skin tag and a wart.
unfortunately both got localised infections and I was on anti-biotics for a week and was given sudocreme to put on. the sudocreme did not help so in the end the male nurse gave me instillagel. only trouble is I have to wear gloves so my finger does not go numb, push my glasses to the end of my nose and bend over so I can see what I am doing in the mirror.
cue the window cleaner turning up a day early...
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 22:01, More)
» Accidentally Erotic
He was about 5 years old
and I was 38.
You see, I have this very sensative neck. It was the end of his holiday and he threw his arms around my neck to say "Goodbye" and I wet my bikini bottoms.
(Sat 4th Feb 2006, 22:47, More)
He was about 5 years old
and I was 38.
You see, I have this very sensative neck. It was the end of his holiday and he threw his arms around my neck to say "Goodbye" and I wet my bikini bottoms.
(Sat 4th Feb 2006, 22:47, More)
» The worst sex I ever had
Another farting one
I was on the sofa with my boyfriend, we were both naked and just as we got to the best bit, my legs akimbo, we heard the cat go into her litter tray. Unfortunately the cat had the runs and the noise was bad enough, but the smell was unbelievably bad. I giggled and covered my nose and he went limp faster than any man I have ever seen. We always went up to bed after that night.
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 21:41, More)
Another farting one
I was on the sofa with my boyfriend, we were both naked and just as we got to the best bit, my legs akimbo, we heard the cat go into her litter tray. Unfortunately the cat had the runs and the noise was bad enough, but the smell was unbelievably bad. I giggled and covered my nose and he went limp faster than any man I have ever seen. We always went up to bed after that night.
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 21:41, More)
» My first love
His name was Robert
His name was Robert and we were both 9 when he asked me to marry him. I told my dad and he wanted to know how Robert was going to support me so I asked him the next day. His mum said I could go and live with them as she had always wanted a little girl of her own. I rushed home to pack and was awfully disappointed when my mum would not let me go.
(Sun 23rd Oct 2005, 19:32, More)
His name was Robert
His name was Robert and we were both 9 when he asked me to marry him. I told my dad and he wanted to know how Robert was going to support me so I asked him the next day. His mum said I could go and live with them as she had always wanted a little girl of her own. I rushed home to pack and was awfully disappointed when my mum would not let me go.
(Sun 23rd Oct 2005, 19:32, More)
» God
A Muslim terrorist blows himself up..
On passing to the other side, he sees a flight of stairs and begins to climb them, until he meets a man.
"Are you Mohammed"? asks the terrorist.
"No I'm St.Peter, Mohammed is further up"!
So further up the stairs he climbed until he met a man with a beard.
"Are you Mohammed"? asks the terrorist.
"No I'm Jesus, Mohammed is further up"!
Wow ! Thinks the terrorist as he starts to climb the stairs again..Mohammed is higher up than Jesus!
Much higher up, he meets another man.
"Are you Mohammed"? asks the terrorist.
"No I am God...You must be really thirsty from climbing all those stairs, would you like a cup of tea"?
"Oh yes please" said the terrorist
God shouts "Mohammed, put the kettle on!"
(Tue 24th Mar 2009, 13:29, More)
A Muslim terrorist blows himself up..
On passing to the other side, he sees a flight of stairs and begins to climb them, until he meets a man.
"Are you Mohammed"? asks the terrorist.
"No I'm St.Peter, Mohammed is further up"!
So further up the stairs he climbed until he met a man with a beard.
"Are you Mohammed"? asks the terrorist.
"No I'm Jesus, Mohammed is further up"!
Wow ! Thinks the terrorist as he starts to climb the stairs again..Mohammed is higher up than Jesus!
Much higher up, he meets another man.
"Are you Mohammed"? asks the terrorist.
"No I am God...You must be really thirsty from climbing all those stairs, would you like a cup of tea"?
"Oh yes please" said the terrorist
God shouts "Mohammed, put the kettle on!"
(Tue 24th Mar 2009, 13:29, More)