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» Pet Stories

Pet Stories
My cat Boodle would suck the tip of her tail like a dummy when she was a kitten. Rather loud slurping, even in her sleep. It was quite disappointing when she grew out of it, although occassionally when in a deep sleep, she will just make slurping noises sans tail.

She used to catch birds from time to time at our old place in the country. If she wanted them for herself, she's run in behind the toilet and eat them. If they were for me, she'd leave them on the kitchen floor and strut around looking very pleased with herself. And not just birds. She once "shared" some kids ham and cheese jaffle with me, leaving the cheese and crust on the floor for me after she'd gobbled down the ham. And one Australia Day she brought home cocktail franks and left me some with bites taken out of them. Same weekend she brought me a deflated balloon - it must have seemed alive because there was enough air in it to be squishy between her jaws. She left it for me in the kitchen - latex tastes horrible.

She LOVES individually wrapped sanitary pads. When she bites them, the air being squeezed out of the little packets sounds like it's breathing. I have to hide them.
(Thu 14th Jun 2007, 13:44, More)

» Insults

I'm too nice to swear...
...but you're just an Arse-knuckle.

I find I rely on the word "Custard" as a sweary with great frequency. It's a benign combination of Cunt and Bastard, and it's ideal for work.
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 13:10, More)