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Profile for mr ruffles:
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» Missing body parts

skdfjghawdh,jg
kjhghsdljfhgdfl;kzd sdfsdjhgfaw fkjsdokjfsdlkjhf sdflkjhdfkjhsgdf
(Thu 1st Jun 2006, 18:46, More)

» Misunderstood

An ex girlfriend asked for aural sex once...
...bit of a tight fit but we managed in the end.

PS. First, La La La.
(Thu 6th Oct 2005, 23:12, More)

» Missing body parts

I am
.. Just about to have a lobotomy, I'll let you know how it goes in a little while.
(Thu 1st Jun 2006, 18:46, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

my wall
so one time i built this wall, all well and good you say, but it became quite famous cos people kept climbing on it so naturally i had to shoot them off it a bit, now no one really climbs on it any more but its all gone cos some bloody buggers keep nicking bits off it.


deutchland deutchland etc...
(Wed 10th Nov 2004, 2:15, More)

» Urban Legends

The art of the lie..
So I get bored fairly quickly and like to make things up:

A very long time ago an envoy from the island of Jersey in the English channel was sailing to the island of Guernsey, as part of the diplomatic tribute the ship had a number of barrels of milk form the famous Jersey cows which were kept fresh using lumps of ice floating in the barrels themselves.

Unfortunately a massive storm appeared out of nowhere and the captain decided that to save his ship from the violent rocking they should anchor at the island of Churnsey. When the diplomats checked the precious milk cargo they found that the lumps of ice and fierce storm had turned the milk into creamy butter. The captain thought that the milk had spoiled and so they left the butter on the island of Churnsey and continued on their diplomatic mission.

The resourceful Churnseyans used the butter for spreading on bread and when the original supply ran out invented the butter churn in order to recreate the first ever butter.

Also

The term ‘monkey wrench’ must be replaced with the words ‘adjustable spanner’ because apes in Mozambique are putting sticks into termite mounds and then twisting them using another forked branch.

Unfortunatly I always start laughing after looking at peples faces for a minute or so as they ponder the truth of these.
(Fri 6th Jan 2006, 14:53, More)
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