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- a member for 5 years, 0 months and 7 days
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» Scars with history
Red Bull - Gives You Scars
It was a fairly messy night in the Shitest nightclub out there and I decided that i needed a little boost from Red Bull - buy one at the bar and put it in my back pocket - this somewhat unbalances me and I fall back on to my arse and burst the can in my pocket - which literally tears me a new arsehole.
A bleeding arse and being thrown out of the club - what a great night.
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 22:32, More)
Red Bull - Gives You Scars
It was a fairly messy night in the Shitest nightclub out there and I decided that i needed a little boost from Red Bull - buy one at the bar and put it in my back pocket - this somewhat unbalances me and I fall back on to my arse and burst the can in my pocket - which literally tears me a new arsehole.
A bleeding arse and being thrown out of the club - what a great night.
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 22:32, More)
» Pure Ignorance
Far too cold to be walking
On an extremely cold day my brother and I had to catch a bus to school - upon walking to the bus stop my brother stated - "Its so cold my balls could drop" * long pause * "I mean they could drop off"
Oh how I think about my brothers balls everytime it gets cold.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 20:31, More)
Far too cold to be walking
On an extremely cold day my brother and I had to catch a bus to school - upon walking to the bus stop my brother stated - "Its so cold my balls could drop" * long pause * "I mean they could drop off"
Oh how I think about my brothers balls everytime it gets cold.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 20:31, More)
» Near Death Experiences
Killer Digestive
When I was about 3 or 4, me and the rest of my family were at an airport getting ready to board a plane. To keep me quiet my mum gave me a plain digestive biscuit - I went off happlily enough to watch some planes landing. Next thing I know I am being hoisted upside down by a doctor who is thumping me on my back trying to dislodge the rogue undigestable biscuit.
My mum said I had turned a few different shades of blue by the time she had found a doctor - which in itself was lucky because she was infact looking for my dad who was in the bar drinking with the doctor that saved my life - he is now my family doctor.
Longtime reader first time poster - thanks!
(Tue 30th Nov 2004, 22:40, More)
Killer Digestive
When I was about 3 or 4, me and the rest of my family were at an airport getting ready to board a plane. To keep me quiet my mum gave me a plain digestive biscuit - I went off happlily enough to watch some planes landing. Next thing I know I am being hoisted upside down by a doctor who is thumping me on my back trying to dislodge the rogue undigestable biscuit.
My mum said I had turned a few different shades of blue by the time she had found a doctor - which in itself was lucky because she was infact looking for my dad who was in the bar drinking with the doctor that saved my life - he is now my family doctor.
Longtime reader first time poster - thanks!
(Tue 30th Nov 2004, 22:40, More)
» I just don't get it
Funny People
someone who cracks a joke and then instantly believes they are the god of comedy and all things funny. e.g people who tell a joke in the office and - granted it will be funny - then spend the rest of the day saying it again or in different amusing voices or even worse tell anecdotes of how everyone laughed and said he/she was the funniest person that they had ever met - funny that I think they are fucking cunts
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 14:09, More)
Funny People
someone who cracks a joke and then instantly believes they are the god of comedy and all things funny. e.g people who tell a joke in the office and - granted it will be funny - then spend the rest of the day saying it again or in different amusing voices or even worse tell anecdotes of how everyone laughed and said he/she was the funniest person that they had ever met - funny that I think they are fucking cunts
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 14:09, More)
» Walkman Flashbacks
Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
Always reminds me of the first time I heard it with my then g/f, it then became the song of a very weird relationship, thus cannot ever really listen to it without either thinking about her or wishing I had been a bit of a better guy - great way of ruining a song. Shame
(Sat 26th Mar 2005, 0:17, More)
Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
Always reminds me of the first time I heard it with my then g/f, it then became the song of a very weird relationship, thus cannot ever really listen to it without either thinking about her or wishing I had been a bit of a better guy - great way of ruining a song. Shame
(Sat 26th Mar 2005, 0:17, More)