» Other people's diaries

Not exactly a diary
But other peoples most private conversations.

I currently work in a pub where we have walkie talkies to buzz barstaff when food is ready(I'm a kitchen monkey). Just up the road is a "health retreat" run by some fairly odd people. Often they somehow end up on our channel as they keep rotating theres for some unknown reason. We often hear the receptionist flirting with the grounds keeper and other innocent things. Nothing really bad but annoying for waitresses when they're trying to serve food and someone is hitting on the customer from their pockets.

One evening my boss was doing the rota or something in the office and had a walkie talkie on her in case she was needed. One of the womens voices comes on with something like "...Dave... you there... I've run a bath I was wondering if you'd like to join me..."
The conversation progresses further but my boss refrained from giving me details. At first she was in a state of shock at what she was hearing but then she got some balls and picked up the walkie talkie and said "Alright if I join you?"
The Health center stay off our channel now.

Sorry for length for such a little story but my mental image of their faces takes me to my happy place
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 22:07, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

The mrs
Once ran over her childhood hamster with a remote control car. This caused a mild case of death.

She claims it was an accident.
(Thu 6th Dec 2007, 15:29, More)

» Personal Ads

not exactly a personal add but along the same vein and worth a share
A couple of friends of mine whilst under the influence of substances decided to make up a Myspace profile for known tearful British sports heroine Ellen Macarthur. As she spends a lot of time crying alone into a little camera they deduced she could only be a massive emo.Thus they made a profile befitting such a character listing as many ridiculous emo bands as they could think of as her favourite music. To be honest it wasn't all that funny, only producing a few titters from all those around. That was until the lesbians...

Within a couple of days this obviously fake profile was flooded with lesbians flirting with 'ellen' and telling her what an inspiration she is.Most of them were pretty unreal in that ridiculous manly way you get with some lesbians. (also they were all huge sandra bullock fans).

The profile got about 5 personal messages a day along these lines and picked up a couple of "myspace stalkers".

Despite the fact that under general interests it said "sitting in my boat and crying".
I will try and find the url and link it as i think its still going after 2 years.
(Sun 16th Sep 2007, 17:13, More)

» I witnessed a crime

Friend of the family...
Got up one morning to find someone had had a bit of a go at the front of his van with an axe. Huge gashes in the bonnet etc.

Turned out two guys had fallen out at the pub the night before and one had gone out with an axe to fuck the guys vehicle up. being drunk he didnt bother to walk all the way to the guys house and just stuck the axe in the nearest automobile of the same colour.

I did not personally witness this but the friends son did with his friends from the window of the front room where they were having a sleepover.

Being about 8 they didnt take it too well and I think one of them may have had councilling.

Still, heres a woo for inept lashing out
(Tue 19th Feb 2008, 17:44, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

1992 Fiat Tipo
Need I say more
(Thu 25th Oct 2007, 17:26, More)