» Ignoring Instructions

Irons
Everyone laughs at the silly instructions found on some irons like "do not use while still wearing clothes" or some such thing.

Anyway, a friend of mine a while back found out why that instruction is there. His shirt collar was creased, so he decided to sort it out. got a large burn on his neck instead.
We laughed.
(Mon 8th May 2006, 16:36, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Hey Cow
A few weeks ago, while driving to the ski fields from Auckland my friends and I started a game called Hey Cow.
The rules being,
1, Open car window
2, Upon passing a herd of cows, scream HEY COW
You get a point for every cow that looks at you.

We are all 30 years old.
(Wed 23rd Sep 2009, 1:43, More)

» Urban Legends

Fires
Friend of a friend story...

last week a mate was in [skanky city] when he parked his car down a side street to save on parking fees.
Some local kids noticed him and said,
"Give us a tenner and i will make sure nothing happens to your car"
"My dogs in there and hes clever so dont try anything!" was his reply.
Aparently the kids thought for a while and said "can your dog put out fires?"
My mate paid them the tenner.
(Fri 6th Jan 2006, 8:57, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Clever tourist, silly toffs
Not me, but gf`s brother.
Aparently he was visiting Cambridge for some reason or other and on a night out he convinced a load of snobby Cambridge students that a group of monkeys was called a "Flange"
(Wed 13th Jul 2005, 8:31, More)

» The Boss

Sainsburys
Many moons ago, to pay for my college booze I started working at Sainburys. Now my dad used to work there too, so my interview consisted of the interviewer sitting back saying
"No point doing this because i guess your dad told you everything already (he hadnt)"
"err yeah sure" was my reply.
Suprise suprise i got the job.

Anyway, first day comes around and my dad is showing me around, "right son, he says, I know you dont want to work on the tills so i have sorted you with a place in the Meat/ Fish department"
I am introduced to Andrew the dept boss, a big geordie bloke. Nice polite introductions are made and shown about the department. Then my dad leaves.

Andrew turns to me, "Right Fishbone just one little thing. IF YOU EVER CALL IN SICK DUE TO HANGOVER, I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHO YOUR DAD IS IM GONNA COME ROUND YOUR HOUSE, GRAB YOU BY THE TESTICLES AND DRAG YOUR FUCKING ARSE INTO WORK... ok, good"
Scared the shit out of me it did, and it worked. Turned out to be a top bloke who I shared many drunken nights with... and turned up to work on time in all manner of booze related states.
(Thu 18th Jun 2009, 21:47, More)