» The Onosecond

I was once texting a friend...
... detailing my plans to blow up parliament, but instead of sending it to "Mike", I accidently sent it to "MI5".

I hate it when that happens!
(Mon 30th May 2005, 14:06, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Setting silly messages to come up on boot on a friend's computer
Dull and boring? Well, it was made more interesting due to the fact that this guy is technologically highly literate and would know where to check for the usual run-on-boot suspects.

This is a little gem that will catch out even experienced computer users. Not many people except those who are network administrators know about the Windows group policy settings (gpedit.msc). Even fewer know that you can use it to run things on boot before the login screen comes up (at least on win 2k).

This guy actually ended up reinstalling his OS to get rid of the barrage of message boxes that would come up before he could log on. I resisted the temptation to reinstate them on the fresh OS. Aren't I an angel!
(Tue 10th May 2005, 13:50, More)

» Essential Items

My girlfriend's mother...
... always used to carry around a length of thin plastic tube. Took it absolutely everywhere she went. She would get very distressed if she didn't have it with her.

She was unfortunately also carrying around cancer that had spread to her lungs and the tube was connecting her to an oxygen cylinder.
(Fri 28th Oct 2005, 11:09, More)

» Essential Items

A copper...
... once pulled me over because he thought I was carrying a weapon.

He let me off when he realised it was just my razor-sharp wit.
(Fri 28th Oct 2005, 11:19, More)

» I just don't get it

Tentacle porn...
...I mean, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Japanese people?

Peadophiles are the new terrorists, but I find it more disturbing that somebody could get turned on by pictures of a woman having her vag torn apart by alien creatures.
(Mon 4th Apr 2005, 21:23, More)