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- a member for 19 years, 3 months and 23 days
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- has posted 14 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
- They liked 1 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 21 qotw answers.
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» Celebrities part II
You're fat and you've no sense of humour.
I was at a Billy Bragg gig and rotund humour vacuum Phill Jupitus was in attendance (he even took to the stage and did a crushingly unfunny song about bestiality). After the gig he was milling around signing stuff for folk so I approached him and told him I thought he was shit in Cracker. Not the funniest gag granted but I had drunk an ale. Huffy fucker looked at me like I'd offered him a freshly laid shite.
(Fri 9th Oct 2009, 16:31, More)
You're fat and you've no sense of humour.
I was at a Billy Bragg gig and rotund humour vacuum Phill Jupitus was in attendance (he even took to the stage and did a crushingly unfunny song about bestiality). After the gig he was milling around signing stuff for folk so I approached him and told him I thought he was shit in Cracker. Not the funniest gag granted but I had drunk an ale. Huffy fucker looked at me like I'd offered him a freshly laid shite.
(Fri 9th Oct 2009, 16:31, More)
» Scary Neighbours
curley wurley
my friend lives next door to a couple of nutters who scream at each other non stop about various bizarre things. Her fave was when the male partner was heard to scream "Curley fucking Wurley" repeatedly at his equally insane other half. It's been a couple of years now but I still try to work out how this argument could have started.
(Thu 1st Sep 2005, 12:55, More)
curley wurley
my friend lives next door to a couple of nutters who scream at each other non stop about various bizarre things. Her fave was when the male partner was heard to scream "Curley fucking Wurley" repeatedly at his equally insane other half. It's been a couple of years now but I still try to work out how this argument could have started.
(Thu 1st Sep 2005, 12:55, More)
» Your Weirdest Teacher
Wiggy
She was a pretty weird teacher but my post relates more to a weird (but fucking fantastic) incident that happened during one of her v dull maths lessons. Mrs Morson was her name (unchanged as she doesn't deserve protection) and her nickname was wiggy as she had a big bouffont (sp?) that looked purchased. Anywho one day during my 4th year we were sat in her lesson and a young lad walked in who looked a little too old to attend school and was also dressed in civilian attire. "Excuse me miss" says he have I left my bag in here". "But Peter" replies Mrs Morson " You left school 2 years ago". "Oh Aye" replies the young wag "fuck me! Is that a wig?" Bedlam ensued...
(Tue 15th Nov 2005, 15:35, More)
Wiggy
She was a pretty weird teacher but my post relates more to a weird (but fucking fantastic) incident that happened during one of her v dull maths lessons. Mrs Morson was her name (unchanged as she doesn't deserve protection) and her nickname was wiggy as she had a big bouffont (sp?) that looked purchased. Anywho one day during my 4th year we were sat in her lesson and a young lad walked in who looked a little too old to attend school and was also dressed in civilian attire. "Excuse me miss" says he have I left my bag in here". "But Peter" replies Mrs Morson " You left school 2 years ago". "Oh Aye" replies the young wag "fuck me! Is that a wig?" Bedlam ensued...
(Tue 15th Nov 2005, 15:35, More)
» Essential Items
sob
My late kitten's collar. (for full traumatic story see Last Time You Cried QOTW).
Still hurtin'
(Thu 27th Oct 2005, 15:34, More)
sob
My late kitten's collar. (for full traumatic story see Last Time You Cried QOTW).
Still hurtin'
(Thu 27th Oct 2005, 15:34, More)
» The passive-aggressive guilt trip
young and drunk
Rewind 16 or so years. It's xmas eve and I'm 14 years old. "Mother, I'm going to a party at a friends house and will be home before midnight so father christmas won't take my presents back."
5 hours later police find me slumped in a phone box incoherent and drooling as a teen does after lashings of cider. Taken home and wake the next morning..xmas day mind you..to a thrashing by father and mothers quote of. "It's the lying that upsets us". "Hmm" says I "what do you reckon the chances last night of me getting anywhere near the front door if I'd told you I was out to get shitfaced on a street corner with a gang of like-minded youths? None I'll wager" cue further thrashing from father and wailing from mother. A lovely xmas all told....
Slightly off subject maybe but I rarely post so gimme a break.
(Thu 13th Oct 2005, 12:02, More)
young and drunk
Rewind 16 or so years. It's xmas eve and I'm 14 years old. "Mother, I'm going to a party at a friends house and will be home before midnight so father christmas won't take my presents back."
5 hours later police find me slumped in a phone box incoherent and drooling as a teen does after lashings of cider. Taken home and wake the next morning..xmas day mind you..to a thrashing by father and mothers quote of. "It's the lying that upsets us". "Hmm" says I "what do you reckon the chances last night of me getting anywhere near the front door if I'd told you I was out to get shitfaced on a street corner with a gang of like-minded youths? None I'll wager" cue further thrashing from father and wailing from mother. A lovely xmas all told....
Slightly off subject maybe but I rarely post so gimme a break.
(Thu 13th Oct 2005, 12:02, More)