» Top Tips

Petrol (or gas for you americans)
If you are driving a new car (or a hire car, or a stolen car, or whatever) and you are unsure which side the petrol cap is on, look at the little petrol pump symbol on the dash. It will either be on the petrol gauge or on the low fuel light.

Whichever side of the little symbol the hose is on, that's which side of the cat the petrol cap is on.
(Fri 1st Dec 2006, 16:45, More)

» Airport Stories

I knew there was something...
Some background - this happened at Plymouth Airport. Plymouth Airport is tiny - the firecrew doubles as the baggage handlers, and you can get away with turning up about 30 mins before the flight in most cases.

They had started a new service, Plymouth Manchester, and I was on the first flight. It was all jolly cheerful and smiley, with free coffee and stuff. We taxi out to the runway, and the engines start to work up to takeoff.

All of a sudden, power off. Captain comes over the tannoy and announces that he has been contacted by the tower and needs to return to the stand. Passengers, all sitting there wondering what has fallen off the plane.

Turns out the fire crew were having a cup of tea, and had forgotten to load the luggage...
(Fri 3rd Mar 2006, 12:10, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Is it really that difficult
to try to consider how the way you speak and act might impact others. Because that is all that political correctness is.

All this other stuff (95% of which is rubbish - you can say blackboard, and ask for white coffee and celebrate christmas all you like without getting into any trouble anywhere) is just people being idiots - and them being idiots has been turned into propaganda against what is a pretty good idea:

BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.

More on topic, I once got punched in the face for calling a friend of mine who had one leg hopalong. Yay for radical student politics!
(Thu 22nd Nov 2007, 17:34, More)

» Picky Eaters

I was a fussy eater...
...my mother cured it by making me go hungry if I wouldn't eat.

All of this "ooh, even looking at a bit of carrot makes me ill" is just self-indulgent rubbish. I can acccept vegetarianism and even vegans as long as it is to do with the persons ethics. I can accept that some foods can actually make some people ill when they have proper allergies.

But anyone who says "I'd starve rather than eat XYZ" has never been really hungry.
(Thu 1st Mar 2007, 17:33, More)

» Family codes and rituals

My parents
"Put the kettle on"

"It won't suit me"

EVERY TIME FOR 34 YEARS

and now my wife has started saying it
(Thu 27th Nov 2008, 0:45, More)