» Ignoring Instructions

When I was about 7 or 8
My dear daddums got me a plastic model boat kit as a birthday prezzie. As he left for work he promised to help me put it together when he got home, but he didn't bargain on my impatience.
Having some spare time before going to school, I decided to show him I didn't need his help or even the assembly instructions, and reached for the glue. The first two parts which appeared to fit together were quickly smothered in plastic cement and pushed together firmly - perfect! Right then though time ran out and off to school I toddled, mighty pleased with myself.
For some reason I can't remember, I didn't carry on with it when I got home from school - just as well really, because when he got home from work, dad had to spend quite some time trying to cut free the battery compartment lid that I'd stuck down!
To this day I still use the phrase "You stuck the battery lid on, didn't you?" when anyones impatience gives me extra work to do, although I do have to explain it most times.
(Sat 6th May 2006, 22:51, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

I shed a little tear
when I first tried to explain to my little boy why Bambi's mummy didn't return to the thicket with him :(
(Thu 14th Apr 2005, 12:47, More)

» I just don't get it

Takeshi's Castle??????
Very funny though, a bunch of numbskulls hurting themselves for our amusement.

That's an idea, how about the next QOTW being "what new events should they do?". Here's a couple to be going on with:
Chainsaw juggling
MFI flatpack assembly

*gets coat...
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 13:26, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

Playing phone games in silent mode
whilst enthroned is a great one, but if I sit too long I get pins & needles and my legs go dead. Crawling back to my desk on all-fours is such a giveaway....

Many years ago I worked with just one other guy in a very small place run by a complete twunt who paid peanuts and expected miracles - but it just about paid the bills so I put up with it for a while. Anyhow, one afternoon twuntface was out sheepshagging or something, and we decided we'd had enough for one day, so we sloped off to the cinema where they were showing all three original Star Wars films back to back.
I guess fate was on the boss's side though, we came out all blurry-eyed some hours later to find some nobcheese had put a brick through the passenger window of the car and emptied the glove compartment. Serves me right for parking next to a building site I 'spose.
(Wed 27th Apr 2005, 23:05, More)

» Road Rage

Twunts in VW Golfs ...
What is it with them? If one more cuts me up EVER I will staple the driver to the nearest tree, nuke the fucking VW factory and shoot any driving examiner who's ever passed a learner without asking if they want to drive one first.
Ah that's better, lunch anyone?
(Mon 16th Oct 2006, 12:52, More)