» I don't understand the attraction

I don't get
World of Warcraft - you might as well tattoo VIRGIN on your forehead and save yourself £££'s on the subscription fees

dub step - it's just listening to a nice slice of dub, with someone banging a bit of two by four on the side of a van

Jeremy Kyle - hates the unemployed, anyone with a criminal record, underage single mothers, alcholics, basically anyone that sits around watching ITV on a Wednesday afternoon

vegitarinism - cow tastes good. pig tasts good. panda tastes good

sky diving - 'don't worry about landing the plane mate, I'll just get out here'

Heat magazine - if you fire bombed their head office, Jorden will fade away ino dust, like if she drank from the wrong Holy Grail

Micheal McIntyre - no real jokes, just shout something and skip across the stage like a suger-crazed child coming out to his parents

N-Dubz - somewhere in Essex there's an understaffed Burger King

Harry Potter - just fuck off

that Scottish bloke from the Basingstoke CDG Job Centre course - 'you's ever been to the north? you's don't know how gud you's got it in the south ya pansy'
I'm still signing on, sleeping on a sofa, living on a diet of Tudor Rose and noodles and giving handjobs for my crack fix you smug stuck up git
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 22:22, More)

» Customers from Hell

I worked in a call centre for a debt collection agency.
Anytime someone told me they 'didn't owe Fitness First any fucking money' I just agreed.
So much easier.
(Mon 8th Sep 2008, 1:28, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Bloody nieghbours
Way back when, while I was living at the other end of my wonderful council estate, we had a small boy living next door. he was one of those lads that needed a good dose of ritailyn with his Coco-puffs, know what I mean? Little bastard kept on throwing stones at our windows and climbing over his garden fence naked. Me and my brothers would have literaly throw his naked arse back over.
i bumped into his sister a year or so ago, didn't realise who she was, exept that she was a pretty fit brunette a few years older then me. She was a bit drunk, asking for twenty pence for the Minstrals machine in the corner of the White Hart. I offer her the coin, and she turns on me shouting her mouth off about how she remembers me when I were a lad and what a little sod I was and stuff... shit me up I tell you....
(I think I've strayed from the piont a little, but be fair, it's nearly 6am....)
(Thu 1st Sep 2005, 5:51, More)

» Buses

Bus driver closed the door on my arm
just as I was stepping off.
Didn't quite understand what was happening, I may have been a little high... took me a few minutes to struggle free and come to terms with being assulted by public transport.

That was a bad day.
(Sun 28th Jun 2009, 21:39, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Well, from what I can remember
after a two month long session on the wacky baccy, I sober up in the middle of taking an order in Dominos Pizza. Apparently, I'd been working there for a fortnight or something...

I realise I mention this a lot, but I'm a bit concerend about what I get up to when I go on a binge....
If you have any infomation, any sightings, please let me know
(Fri 16th Dec 2005, 3:27, More)