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» When I met the parents

The stuff nightmares are made of...
Went to meet the long distance girlfriend's parents and her mother had made a huge dinner for us. I arrived just in time as she was serving it up, I put my coat on the back of my seat and started 'charming' the new found inlaws. The mother was polite and chatty but the father remained rather quiet with an aggitated look on his face which I put down to protective father syndrome. It was only once they both started clearing away the dishes that I noticed the shiny packet of ribbed condoms that had fallen out of my jacket and was sitting in full view of where the father was sat.

To this day I ask myself why ribbed!?!? The least I could have done was buy sensitive, caring condoms that said 'yes, we are having sex, but it's part of a loving, meaningful relationship'. Instead of condoms that said 'These might make your little angel cum a little harder'

Took a while for him to warm to me, but we got there.
(Sat 21st May 2005, 9:57, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

Physical and mental damage.
Playing a ridiculous game while in an innercity, all concrete school playground, I got 'tackled' by my best mate, who's quite a bit bigger than me. He jumped on top of me and I crumpled under his weight, smacking my head on the concrete and passing out. The first thing I saw when I woke up, focusing through the absolute agony, was an up-skirt view of the most unappealing dinner lady's growler, with a tampon string protruding... She was stood over me chatting with another dinner lady about moving me inside. I felt used.
(Mon 20th Jun 2005, 10:58, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

A sad, sad man...
My girlfriend dated a few not-so-famous football players before we'd met. After finding out who they were (and I still do this to this day) I bought them on a certain football manager game, never played them, never paid them and fired them for no apparent reason - feel so good!
(Thu 14th Apr 2005, 10:23, More)