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» Scary Neighbours
the posh ones are worse
My posh neighbours & their dyke-ish unmarriable daughter are terrible, the hag (daughter) tried to assault my dad when he was holding a chainsaw in his hands, & then called the pigs & claimed he was gonna chop her up.
Then there was the time she apparently saw some friends glue a lock on a nearby footpath - got our friend a night in the can, mugshots, dna test & prints, STRIP SEARCH!, and of course, unneccessary scary interregation over a fucking lock.. that the bitch wanted glued up herself! (which she did last week).
Anyway, she got a different kind of visit from some off-duty old-bill yesterday. All good in the country hood.
Oh, and the one nice neightbour comes to drink cheapo cider (sometimes lambrini) with my mum in secret from her husband. Posh indeed.
(Thu 25th Aug 2005, 15:00, More)
the posh ones are worse
My posh neighbours & their dyke-ish unmarriable daughter are terrible, the hag (daughter) tried to assault my dad when he was holding a chainsaw in his hands, & then called the pigs & claimed he was gonna chop her up.
Then there was the time she apparently saw some friends glue a lock on a nearby footpath - got our friend a night in the can, mugshots, dna test & prints, STRIP SEARCH!, and of course, unneccessary scary interregation over a fucking lock.. that the bitch wanted glued up herself! (which she did last week).
Anyway, she got a different kind of visit from some off-duty old-bill yesterday. All good in the country hood.
Oh, and the one nice neightbour comes to drink cheapo cider (sometimes lambrini) with my mum in secret from her husband. Posh indeed.
(Thu 25th Aug 2005, 15:00, More)
» Petty Sabotage
Lukewarm feeling
At the yearly "go runaround a soggy field" school camp, myself and my cronies decided to liven up proceedings by putting a few of the sleeping lads' hands in lukewarm water. As many of you will know, this can only result in one thing - bedwetting, and at the next mornings assembly, an announcement was made about the "special sleeping equipment" only usually reserved for the younger camp residents! Heelarity
(Wed 4th May 2005, 12:32, More)
Lukewarm feeling
At the yearly "go runaround a soggy field" school camp, myself and my cronies decided to liven up proceedings by putting a few of the sleeping lads' hands in lukewarm water. As many of you will know, this can only result in one thing - bedwetting, and at the next mornings assembly, an announcement was made about the "special sleeping equipment" only usually reserved for the younger camp residents! Heelarity
(Wed 4th May 2005, 12:32, More)
» When I met the parents
the purple one
Went to meet nice respectable new boyf (George, but of the subburbs, not the jungle) in 6th form, and was greeted by Autie Gothsalot, Crazy old great Aunt who kept repeating "isn't she lovely?" to anyone who blatantly wasn't listening - and of course the obligatory mum, stepdad & brother. (Had to take off boots to reveal tights with hole in toe too).
Anyway, sitcho is bad enough right?
Nooooo! Don't be silly now.
Dinner went ok, and when everything was finished, a box of Quality Street was passed around, and a variety of the super-big versions offered. Que stepdad asking "fancy George's big purple one then?" nice...
Btw - you know when you eat everything on the plate apart from broccolli, and it's v. blatant you can't eat it, but the mother still stares at the plate & then you? That happened too. Just peachy.
Length, Girth? Did not stick with him to find out.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 16:00, More)
the purple one
Went to meet nice respectable new boyf (George, but of the subburbs, not the jungle) in 6th form, and was greeted by Autie Gothsalot, Crazy old great Aunt who kept repeating "isn't she lovely?" to anyone who blatantly wasn't listening - and of course the obligatory mum, stepdad & brother. (Had to take off boots to reveal tights with hole in toe too).
Anyway, sitcho is bad enough right?
Nooooo! Don't be silly now.
Dinner went ok, and when everything was finished, a box of Quality Street was passed around, and a variety of the super-big versions offered. Que stepdad asking "fancy George's big purple one then?" nice...
Btw - you know when you eat everything on the plate apart from broccolli, and it's v. blatant you can't eat it, but the mother still stares at the plate & then you? That happened too. Just peachy.
Length, Girth? Did not stick with him to find out.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 16:00, More)