» Worst Nicknames Ever

Nothing a little op didn't sort out...............
.. but when I worked for the local youth centre, there was a lad there who had a huge cyst in the middle of his forehead.

It really was a size, and I would say at it's peak, absolutely no pun intended, it stood a good inch from his face. No shit.

Instead of trying to imagine themselves in this lad's shoes and showing a scrap of compassion, his peers openly called him 'Turbo Tithead'.

You can imagine how thrilled he was by that.
(Mon 22nd May 2006, 21:08, More)

» Crap meals out

Nan and nails
Sitting in a curry house that shall remain nameless mainly because it no longer exists (ok, it was the Windsor Tandoori) I tucked into my curried meat choice, on this ocassion a sheesh kebab starter, and bit on something hard.

It was a bent six inch nail.
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 23:59, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

Stuff that!
Years ago, I stated on an AOL profile, just for a joke you understand, that I was into taxidermy.

I got a message from a bloke, offering to show me pictures of some of his "mounts".

I thought he was joking,until I recieved a huge file of pictures of stuffed dogs, deers, foxes, badgers and all manner of creatures without their bodies.

Creepy bugger.
(Mon 20th Mar 2006, 19:03, More)

» Sacked

Their loss? Doubtful.
Very recently, I took a new job that frankly, I hated.

All over Christmas I was so depressed at having to go back there, after having only worked there for six weeks, no words can desribe it.

Anyhoo, a couple of weeks before that, I'd been cordially invited to the Christmas party; all expenses paid, 1920's theme.

I went.

It was going well.

I got pissed.

I didn't realise quite how pissed I'd got, until I returned to work after Christmas to be told that they were 'going to let me go' as I had told someone to fuck off and had been somewhat 'sexually suggestive' to someone else!!

I have zero recollection of either faux pas, to this day, but it turned out in my favour! I was given one months money, to just, in my own words, 'fuck off' and had another job within 3 days!

I am still relieved, every morning, that I did that.

I hated that job.
(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 23:37, More)

» Mugged

Charmed, I'm sure.
My cousin was minding his own business at Kingston station, when 2 ne'er do wells came along and robbed him of the new tennis racket he'd just bought.

They whacked him with it a few times, just to add insult to injury.

Or should that be the other way around......?
(Mon 19th Jun 2006, 21:46, More)