Profile for 100% Cock:
Sultry sex siren, Condoleezza Rice, has a lot of male fans on B3TA, and indeed worldwide. So i was glad when she found time during her recent UK tour to come in for a photo shoot.
The calendar can be found here:
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 7 years, 4 months and 25 days
- has posted 5649 messages on the main board
- (of which 2 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 2 messages on the links board
- (including 1 links)
- has posted 64 stories and 59 replies on question of the week
- They liked 59 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 132 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Sultry sex siren, Condoleezza Rice, has a lot of male fans on B3TA, and indeed worldwide. So i was glad when she found time during her recent UK tour to come in for a photo shoot.
The calendar can be found here:
Recent front page messages:
Good God!
Roll over.
I don't believe it!
I get my first front page!
I must remember to be more sacreligious in future, the donkey is obviously in league with Beelzebub.
(Fri 15th Aug 2003, 11:37, More)
Roll over.
I don't believe it!
I get my first front page!
I must remember to be more sacreligious in future, the donkey is obviously in league with Beelzebub.
(Fri 15th Aug 2003, 11:37, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Other people's diaries
When my brother died suddenly,
We were sorting through all his stuff, keeping any stuff he'd have wanted us to, and giving the rest to charity shops.
I found a digital camera, and suggested to my mum that we check if there were any photos of him on it, that we might appreciate having for the memories.
I copied all the .jpgs across on my mum's computer and we opened the first one up.
It was a fully naked picture of him holding his engorged cock. I think this was for some cyber sex site he had been telling me about a few months previously.
We didn't keep a copy of the picture, but let's just say that both me and my mum will be keeping the image in our mind's eye for a long time to come, like it or not.
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 15:39, More)
When my brother died suddenly,
We were sorting through all his stuff, keeping any stuff he'd have wanted us to, and giving the rest to charity shops.
I found a digital camera, and suggested to my mum that we check if there were any photos of him on it, that we might appreciate having for the memories.
I copied all the .jpgs across on my mum's computer and we opened the first one up.
It was a fully naked picture of him holding his engorged cock. I think this was for some cyber sex site he had been telling me about a few months previously.
We didn't keep a copy of the picture, but let's just say that both me and my mum will be keeping the image in our mind's eye for a long time to come, like it or not.
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 15:39, More)
» Stuff You've Overheard
At a theatre production of "Macbeth".
There were these two old ladies behind us in the audience.
When Macbeth delivered the line which begins "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow", i heard one of the ladies say to her friend "Oh, that will make it Thursday"
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 14:44, More)
At a theatre production of "Macbeth".
There were these two old ladies behind us in the audience.
When Macbeth delivered the line which begins "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow", i heard one of the ladies say to her friend "Oh, that will make it Thursday"
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 14:44, More)
» Awesome Sickies
Workshy Fops!
In seven years at my current job, i haven't once phoned in sick, either with an actual or imaginary complaint.
The glorious British empire wasn't built on people deciding they don't feel very well. I mean, if Nelson had taken a sickie at the Battle of Trafalgar, we'd all be eating garlic and talking like gayers now. That fucker had his arm blown off and his eye shot out and he still turned up for work the next day!
However, i do steal things from work. It's your duty as an oppressed worker.
(Fri 9th Jun 2006, 12:09, More)
Workshy Fops!
In seven years at my current job, i haven't once phoned in sick, either with an actual or imaginary complaint.
The glorious British empire wasn't built on people deciding they don't feel very well. I mean, if Nelson had taken a sickie at the Battle of Trafalgar, we'd all be eating garlic and talking like gayers now. That fucker had his arm blown off and his eye shot out and he still turned up for work the next day!
However, i do steal things from work. It's your duty as an oppressed worker.
(Fri 9th Jun 2006, 12:09, More)
» Have you ever paid for sex?
That i have.
Oi remember during the foot and mouth epidemic, my whole flock died.
Oi was so lonely Oi had to buy a couple of ewes at the farmers' market for three hundred pounds each! Daylight robbery! And Oi'm sure they'd been round the block once or twice already, 'cos Jethro caught some right nasty nobrot off one of them.
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 12:51, More)
That i have.
Oi remember during the foot and mouth epidemic, my whole flock died.
Oi was so lonely Oi had to buy a couple of ewes at the farmers' market for three hundred pounds each! Daylight robbery! And Oi'm sure they'd been round the block once or twice already, 'cos Jethro caught some right nasty nobrot off one of them.
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 12:51, More)
» * PFFT *
The History of Farting
It is widely agreed that the practice of farting is likely to be Mankind's oldest hobby. Indeed, many scholars believe that farting is one of the single most important catalysts to civilisation. Fart culture was so integral to many of the defining human civilisations that, arguably, these cultures would never have become civilised without the art. Civilisations such as the Egyptians, Carthaginians, the Ancient chinese and the Aztecs, to name but a few, were highly structured around fart intercourse and the practice was an effective means of defining power structure, waging effective war, and, of course, enhancing social interaction.
Many historic texts exist on the subject of farting and its effect on ancient society and warfare:
"The first kings of the Aztec empire were not born into rulership, but attained their rank by competing in a contest known as 'The Chamber Test of the Divine Brown Butterfly'. Each of the would-be kings gorged for a number of weeks on a special dish called 'Popolota', made from a number of different locally-grown beans and flavoured with large amounts of cumin and hot chillies. Come the day of the test, the competitors would be led into an airtight chamber deep beneath the ground where they would remain until only one contestant was left alive. The winner was then taken from the chamber and immediately crowned king for a period of four years, after which time the contest would be repeated. This method of selection was very effective at choosing leaders with inner strength and a certain ruthlessness, but unfortunately led to the untimely death of many wives. King Itzahuitl, who won the contest five times in a row, is said to have been married twenty-six times, each wife mysteriously being asphyxiated while sleeping." (From 'Customs of the Ancient Aztecs' by Dr. Alphonse Nobliss, Oxford University Press, 1982)
"The emergence of the Cretans as ancient Greece's major military power is largely acredited to the invention of the 'Cretan Amphora of Death'. These missiles, which were launched from a crude early form of catapult, were discovered by Cretan merchant, Tuphuctones, who was said to have made the first amphora while courting his future wife. Unable to leave the room for fear of unleashing an embarrassing eruption, the young suitor released his precious gases into an empty wine jug, which he surreptitiously corked afterwards. This plan, however, backfired on its inventor as the jug, forgotten for a number of years, was thrown at Tuphuctones by his new wife during a domestic disagreement. The gases, having fermented during their confinement in the amphora, had become so noxious as to prove deadly, even to the creator, and the hapless Tuphuctones died almost instantly as the jug was smashed. The Cretans, however, saw the military benefits of such a weapon, and over the next ten years, many of the 'bombs' were manufactured. It was this weapon which is said to have been responsible for the destruction of Megara in 397 B.C., where every living being in the city, including the rats, was poisoned to death during a huge aerial bombardment by the Cretans. The city was left uninhabitable for three years afterwards, and as late as 145 B.C., unexploded amphoras were still occasionally claiming the lives of Megara's residents" (From 'Chemical Warfare Through the Ages' by Hugh Janus and Roger Dard, New York Historic Press, 1994)
(Tue 17th Jul 2007, 12:59, More)
The History of Farting
It is widely agreed that the practice of farting is likely to be Mankind's oldest hobby. Indeed, many scholars believe that farting is one of the single most important catalysts to civilisation. Fart culture was so integral to many of the defining human civilisations that, arguably, these cultures would never have become civilised without the art. Civilisations such as the Egyptians, Carthaginians, the Ancient chinese and the Aztecs, to name but a few, were highly structured around fart intercourse and the practice was an effective means of defining power structure, waging effective war, and, of course, enhancing social interaction.
Many historic texts exist on the subject of farting and its effect on ancient society and warfare:
"The first kings of the Aztec empire were not born into rulership, but attained their rank by competing in a contest known as 'The Chamber Test of the Divine Brown Butterfly'. Each of the would-be kings gorged for a number of weeks on a special dish called 'Popolota', made from a number of different locally-grown beans and flavoured with large amounts of cumin and hot chillies. Come the day of the test, the competitors would be led into an airtight chamber deep beneath the ground where they would remain until only one contestant was left alive. The winner was then taken from the chamber and immediately crowned king for a period of four years, after which time the contest would be repeated. This method of selection was very effective at choosing leaders with inner strength and a certain ruthlessness, but unfortunately led to the untimely death of many wives. King Itzahuitl, who won the contest five times in a row, is said to have been married twenty-six times, each wife mysteriously being asphyxiated while sleeping." (From 'Customs of the Ancient Aztecs' by Dr. Alphonse Nobliss, Oxford University Press, 1982)
"The emergence of the Cretans as ancient Greece's major military power is largely acredited to the invention of the 'Cretan Amphora of Death'. These missiles, which were launched from a crude early form of catapult, were discovered by Cretan merchant, Tuphuctones, who was said to have made the first amphora while courting his future wife. Unable to leave the room for fear of unleashing an embarrassing eruption, the young suitor released his precious gases into an empty wine jug, which he surreptitiously corked afterwards. This plan, however, backfired on its inventor as the jug, forgotten for a number of years, was thrown at Tuphuctones by his new wife during a domestic disagreement. The gases, having fermented during their confinement in the amphora, had become so noxious as to prove deadly, even to the creator, and the hapless Tuphuctones died almost instantly as the jug was smashed. The Cretans, however, saw the military benefits of such a weapon, and over the next ten years, many of the 'bombs' were manufactured. It was this weapon which is said to have been responsible for the destruction of Megara in 397 B.C., where every living being in the city, including the rats, was poisoned to death during a huge aerial bombardment by the Cretans. The city was left uninhabitable for three years afterwards, and as late as 145 B.C., unexploded amphoras were still occasionally claiming the lives of Megara's residents" (From 'Chemical Warfare Through the Ages' by Hugh Janus and Roger Dard, New York Historic Press, 1994)
(Tue 17th Jul 2007, 12:59, More)