» Workplace Boredom

I've had lots of boring jobs
I was once a lollypop lady during a time when it was raining very hard, all day, every day.
Hardly any kids walked to school during that time because they obviously didn't want to get soaked.
I basically spent my time standing by a road, in the rain, doing nothing for four weeks.

The only thing I could think of to do was to see how fast I could spin my stick around without dropping it.

Imagine a girl wearing a fluorescent yellow jacket, spinning a giant lolly in the rain by the side of the road.
(Thu 8th Jan 2009, 12:33, More)

» Things we do to fit in

Girls
I've never really fit in with other girls.
I can't stand shopping for hours, I hate the way they seem to complain constantly about really insignificant things.
Last year I went on holiday with 7 other girls and shared a house with them for a week... by the end of it I was so fed up of their whining I wanted to shoot myself.

This is why, to try to fit in, I hang around with guys insead.
(Thu 15th Jan 2009, 16:29, More)

» Your first cigarette

Smoke bubbles!
I don't actually smoke but I still have an interesting fact to tell! If you get a tub of bubble solution (the stuff kids use) and try blowing a bubble just after taking a drag, the bubble will fill up with the smoke! This causes it to float off in a mass of swirly, toxic shimmeryness. It is the most beautiful sight ever! ^_^ Until it pops and someone a few yards away gets a face full of fag :P
(Fri 21st Mar 2008, 16:28, More)

» Nightclubs

Happy Hat
When I was about 16 my best friend and I used to be regulars at a certain club in our town.
It was a very smelly place with stalagtites growing from the ceiling and floors which dissolved your shoes.
On one particular night I came across a person wearing a party hat. I thought it was a strange thing to wear in a club, then forgot about it.
A little later in the night I saw a different person wearing the same hat. Then later on a different person again.
I soon realised that this hat seemed to be passed on from person to person and also that everyone who wore it looked immensly happy.
I asked around, trying to find out more information about this magical head-wear but no-one appeared to know where it came from or why it was so special.
All they did know was its name.
Happy Hat.
From that moment I knew that I had to wear it!

I began my quest, desperately trying to grasp my prize but everytime it came within my reach, it was passed on again.
After a while I gave up hope. It was just too hard, I'd have to live with the fact that I'd never have my life fulfilled.
But as I returned to my friends I realised that they had the hat! I was overcome with joy! I would finally have this wonderful item and I knew that it would be the happiest moment of my life.

But what I didn't know at this point was that my friend who had the hat had been drinking all night.
And that she had been feeling fairly sick for a while now.
And that she was too considerate to empty the contents of her stomach onto the already grotty floor.
And that is the story of how Happy Hat became Sick Bucket.
(Wed 8th Apr 2009, 14:30, More)

» School Days

Student Teacher
When I was at college doing my A Level English a student teacher came to take our class for a few lessons.

She was fat, arrogant and fairly stupid.

She would spend half of the lesson boasting about the fact she had passed university and obtained a degree (she must surely be a genius!)
The other half was spent informing us that whatever we said was wrong and whatever she said was right (though her theories on some things were extremely retarded.)

Obviously the class became irritated by this, so we decided to inform her that everything she was saying was a complete load of crap.
She seemed shocked by this and sat down.
On the teacher's desk.
Which broke under her immense weight.

I don't usually laugh at other people's expense but she deserved it, plus it was bloody hillarious!
(Tue 3rd Feb 2009, 13:53, More)