» I was drunk when I bought this

I searched ebay for "testicle"....
I can't remember why but it seemed a good idea at the time. There were two for sale, both from different sellers. One was a real one (buyer collects) but the starting price was too high even though he said it was in excellent working order as he'd just become a daddy. I wish I'd saved this page as it was removed by ebay - not allowed to sell body parts. The other one was an ornamental pottery penis with one testicle, starting price £20. I bid for it and sadly no-one else did. It is truly horrible.
(Tue 14th Jun 2005, 13:43, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Watching the Bruce Forsyth Show on acid
..was not a good idea. It's taken me nearly 40 years to recover enough to be able to watch Strictly Come Dancing without screaming. However, I had a great time watching Monty Python (the death by tennis raquets sketch) after eating a grass-stuffed Thanksgiving turkey. Now I am older and wiser, I will be watching the Queen's Speech this Christmas, fortified by a bottle of absinthe and some peyote tea.
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 13:37, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Pub Food Boards...
One drunken night recently I went home and got some chalk and added some exotic options to my local pub's outside blackboard menu: "Roast Parrot and chips £3.50" is the only one I can remember. I'm a middle-aged librarian... I'm proud of the fact that (apparently) my spelling and punctuation were perfect.
(Sat 19th Sep 2009, 10:24, More)

» Nativity Plays

Grass skirt....
I was at primary school in the 1950s, when nativity plays were traditional, but the only time I can remember appearing in a nativity play I was playing a Hawaiian girl and wearing a swimsuit and a grass skirt. So if there's anyone out there who went to John Selden Primary School in Durrington, West Sussex in the 1950s, can they please tell me what I was doing (assuming it isn't a weird acid flashback).
(Fri 27th Mar 2009, 11:01, More)

» The passive-aggressive guilt trip

I never wanted a second child
My mum: I could have left your father and had a career if I'd only had the one child (my older brother, blond and blue-eyed). You were a "family-planning baby" (i.e. a mistake). When you were born you looked like a little monkey, all dark and covered with hair (the body hair fell out, fortunately). I found an old letter from her the other day, referring to me as "painfully shy". I wonder why that was.
(Thu 13th Oct 2005, 13:34, More)