» My computer gave away my secrets

Geeky beyond all belief...
It was a sunny afternoon, and as I sat in the chair in front of the computer, with the Star Trek encylopaedia to the right of me, I suppose alarm bells should have already been going off.

For the record, I'm a 17 year old girl. It's not like I should have to have ever put up with this... Not that anyone should.

Yes, I was dating an uber geek.

I should also point out that for the duration of this traumatic discovery, his mother was sitting in the room with us & chatting to him. For an hour.

Who said romance was dead? Ahem. Anyway, I got really bored (as you would) & so started to go through his bookmarks. Nothing massively interesting to be found, I have to say. However, upon clicking in the google search box, the autocomplete list was a different story.

Romance may or may not be dead, but the amount of searches for various kinds of herbal viagras was, frankly, astounding & suggested that maybe something ELSE was... Bearing in mind that he too was 17.

To top it all, though, was the seemingly endless list of searches for various fan fictions though. Alone, not too concerning. But they were all for Hoshi Sato (a Star Trek Enterprise character). & all of the searches specified either various forms of S&M, or slash.

Now, I understand that there's obviously a market for this, but the two things together on your boyfriend's computer, whilst his mum's in the room...

I have to say, it wasn't the most comfortable experience. Oddly enough, I didn't freak out about it. We dated for a few months after that, until he sexually assaulted me. Must've overdosed on the herbal viagra that day.

I think I should get a click of the 'I like this' link, purely for dating a 17 year old who read gay Star Trek porn & needed viagra to do anything about it...

First post! I'd feel the need to apologise for length but I haven't taken my... ahem... medicine today.
(Mon 13th Feb 2006, 2:14, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

Oh, you think?
My lovely (but slightly dim) friend was forewarning me that he wouldn't be at college that Friday. When I asked why, he explained how it was the funeral of his second cousin who he'd never met.

After a little careful probing, I managed to ascertain that she'd somehow committed suicide by burning herself. After a moment of quiet reflection, during which I was trying to think of something suitably sensitive to say, he comes out - in all seriousness - with:

"I assume it won't be open-casket..."

No shit, Sherlock.
(Sat 13th May 2006, 21:18, More)

» Dentists

My dentist is called Dmitri.
He's huge, really hairy & very Greek.

He changes the posters on his ceilings & always makes sure that they're interesting enough to ask questions about, in order to take your mind off having him poking around in your mouth.

He's known me since I was really little, & last time I had an appointment, I asked about my wisdom teeth - if any were about to come through, etc. He looked at an X-ray & just started to laugh:

"It is so apt *chuckle*... You will only ever have one wisdom tooth. It is rare, but for you, Caroline, I think it is okay."

Nobody else seems to get insulted by their dentist :(


Edit: Actually, thinking about it, he does have a point. After I'd had my first anaesthetic (I had to have teeth removed for orthodontistry), I went home with my mouth numb & the gauze wedged in the newly formed gap in my mouth.

When I needed to remove the gauze to swill salt water around my mouth, I spent a good 3 or 4 minutes trying to yank it out before I got frustrated enough to go & look in a mirror to see why it was refusing to budge.

I'd been sitting there pulling my lip for minutes & not had a clue. Maybe I'm really not wise enough for all of my wisdom teeth.
(Fri 3rd Nov 2006, 22:44, More)