» Best Graffiti Ever

Apologies to Fothermucker
Your post reminded me of a graffito seen over the urinals at Edinburgh University union. It's stuck in my fading grey matter for thirty years so it must have been funny. No, I wasn't a student, just a visiting pisshead.

To be is to do - Sartre
To do is to do - Nietzsche
Doo be doo be doo - Sinatra
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 20:54, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

Jim would have laughed
Jim was a fellow student at college some years ago. Most of us were on the course as an alternative to unemployment and were "mature" but Jim was more mature than most. He was, to be honest, rather boring and old fashioned but he was a good bloke for all that and would help anyone in any way he could. We were all genuinely upset, therefore, when he died suddenly of a heart attack.

One of the pieces of music for the funeral was to be Louis Armstrong's "It's a wonderful world" and his daughter was given a tape with instructions to record onto it then rewind it ready to play at the crem. Come the hour, she handed the tape to her mum to give to the vicar. Mum looked at it as she handed it over only to notice that it hadn't been rewound to the start. The tape had been used before and had she not checked, Jim would have sailed off to the strains of "Another one bites the dust".

We would have loved it and so would Jim.
(Thu 11th May 2006, 21:46, More)

» Strict Parents

A strict parent's view
I didn't let our kids - now 35, 33 and 24 btw - watch the A Team. This was not because I was a mardy git - I had much better ways of proving that. Nor was it because it was crap - which it was. It was because every week bullets were sprayed around willynilly and NOBODY was killed - not the right message in my book.
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 16:08, More)

» Customers from Hell

Screw
Many moons have passed over the tepee since I worked in a motor factors - that's a car spares shop which isn't Halfords and where the staff usually have a clue. Chap walks in and holds up a screw. "I want a screw like this" he said " but a bit longer, slightly bigger diameter and with a different head." You had to be there . . .
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 19:22, More)

» Advice from Old People

Not exactly advice, just memorable
My grannie lived to be 93 and spent the last ten years of her life trying to ensure that everyone around her was as miserable as she was. One quote, though, was priceless. She was notorious for criticising gifts, loudly, in front of the giver. When my mum told her I'd given her a book for Christmas grannie piped up "A book? What do you want a book for? You've got a book!"
(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 18:53, More)