» Birthdays


I've never had an exciting birthday. It's my birthday tomorrow - honest. It's my wildest dream that I would get onto the "Best" page. Please do your bit to make this one memorable.
(Tue 13th Dec 2005, 21:12, More)

» Misunderstood

Children
A 6 year old boy in my class told everyone that deaf people have to wear ear grenades.
(Sat 8th Oct 2005, 18:52, More)

» Take my Mother-in-law...

My mother in law
My mother in law is a complete mentalist. She also hears voices, usually the pesky Joan of Arc who frequently tells her to set fire to things. This has resulted in her being moved from her council flat which she gutted to another one in the same block which she singed, then to sheltered accommodation where she set fire to a bin before finally being sectioned. She then even set fire to the hospital curtains. Now she's having to stay in hospital because no where else will insure her or put up with her. I have to admit I quite enjoy telling people the saga, as I'm very proud of my final sentence: "She's literally burnt all her bridges".
She also p*ssed twice on my couch last Christmas day, and once threatened to stab me. But her son is lovely.
(Thu 8th Sep 2005, 20:02, More)

» Shame

I didn't do anything!
I was about 15 and in the school library with my mate who was Indian. (Shame for being in the library maybe) Anyway we were bickering really quietly about something I can't even remember, when she shouts "Paki!" at me. I was mortified as everyone looked over at us and of course thought it had been me saying it.
(Edit- I'm white)
(Tue 29th Nov 2005, 21:25, More)

» Heckles

Comedy Club
I heard this from a member of the audience at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester:
Comedian: "where are you all from then?"
Bloke: "My mother's steaming cunt"
(Sun 9th Apr 2006, 17:18, More)