» Advice from Old People

Cycling forever!
When I was about 14 years old I was cycling down Broadstairs front and stopped to admire the view. Some old bloke with a cane came up to me and told me he had stopped cycling a few months ago after being hit by a car and now his health was suffering due to the lack of pedaling. He must have been about 80 odd.

He told me to never stop cycling as it's the best form of exercise there is. And with that he walked off. What a nice old man, I thought.

Since then I've been on the fags, get pissed up regularly and general eat quite badly, but I've never stopped cycling so I'm still relatively fit.

I sometimes wonder if that guy was me coming back from the future to tell myself probably the most important thing that would allow me to get that old. Or maybe that's just the acid talking.
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 15:07, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Hold your stomach!
Whats the definition of 'disgusting'?

Putting 12 oysters up an old lady's cunt and sucking out 13.
(Mon 6th Mar 2006, 19:38, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

I was in a convent garden when I interrupted a lady talking about Jesus to ask about her large gardening scissors.
It was a nun-secateur.
(Tue 8th May 2018, 11:15, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Even worse!
How do you make a five year old girl cry twice?

Wipe your blood-smeared cock on her favourite teddy.
(Mon 6th Mar 2006, 19:39, More)