Profile for omnomnom:
I has a corm
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- a member for 4 years, 1 month and 14 days
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- has posted 46 stories and 23 replies on question of the week
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I has a corm
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Stalked
My fiancé
went to Caterpillar Nursery in 1986, I followed in 1991.
He went to shithole of schools Aylesford in 1994. He left in 1999, the year I started.
Getting closer...
Fast-forward to me being 15 and hormonally incompetent. My mum takes our ancient computer into the local shop.
By the time we leave the shop I know two things: That we needed a new computer, and that I wanted to break the new one as fast as possible so that I could see the very lovely young man who worked there again.
Unfortunately, I was 15, spotty, weird and absolutely useless with guys, while he was 20, an alcoholic and way cooler than I ever could have hoped to have been.
So I get to the age when I can reasonably expect to get a drink in a pub without being thrown out, and I happen to choose the same one that he plays pool in fairly regularly.
Still, I wait.
It takes 2 more years, a nasty breakup/rebound and a couple of vodka & lemonades before I actually go up and say hello outside of the shop. We've been together ever since and are now expecting our first baby.
And that's the story of how I accidentally stalked the man I will end up marrying...
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 19:08, More)
My fiancé
went to Caterpillar Nursery in 1986, I followed in 1991.
He went to shithole of schools Aylesford in 1994. He left in 1999, the year I started.
Getting closer...
Fast-forward to me being 15 and hormonally incompetent. My mum takes our ancient computer into the local shop.
By the time we leave the shop I know two things: That we needed a new computer, and that I wanted to break the new one as fast as possible so that I could see the very lovely young man who worked there again.
Unfortunately, I was 15, spotty, weird and absolutely useless with guys, while he was 20, an alcoholic and way cooler than I ever could have hoped to have been.
So I get to the age when I can reasonably expect to get a drink in a pub without being thrown out, and I happen to choose the same one that he plays pool in fairly regularly.
Still, I wait.
It takes 2 more years, a nasty breakup/rebound and a couple of vodka & lemonades before I actually go up and say hello outside of the shop. We've been together ever since and are now expecting our first baby.
And that's the story of how I accidentally stalked the man I will end up marrying...
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 19:08, More)
» * PFFT *
My stepfamily
This week's QOTW seems to handily match in with last week's for my story.
My stepfamily are probably the fartiest people I have ever met. Fortunately I'm not all that related.
My Dad likes to light his farts when he gets drunk at family Christmas gatherings and once decided to fart inside the (quite elderly) dog's tent-shaped, enclosed-style bed. The poor dog got into it, turned around once and stuck her head out again as if to say, "What have you done?"
Then again, this is the same dog who in her last few days sneezed and shot out a (now legendary) 100mph poo.
My stepmum has been described as "The only woman I've ever met who lights her own farts" and enjoys making everyone else join in the trumpeting with her favourite Winter dish - 'farty bean stew'. This is basically a mixture of about 5 or 6 different kinds of beans and vegetables like sprouts and I'm sure it's her way of getting free heating throughout the winter.
But my little sister, at the tender age of 2, possibly tops the lot. Recently I took my boyfriend to meet the mad stepfamily for the first time, and the five of us were sat at the table having some kind of conversation. Suddenly the conversation is interrupted with the loudest PPPPAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP! you ever heard. Boyfriend's hair ripples with the soundwaves and a surprised expression fills his face.
"Who was that?" he enquires, looking around the room and trying to avoid looking my father in the eye.
"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Shouts the 2 year old, looking utterly delighted. Cue boyfriend's eyebrows nearly lifting off the top of his head and everybody else erupting into gales of laughter.
I would apologise, but he knows I like it
(Sat 14th Jul 2007, 15:41, More)
My stepfamily
This week's QOTW seems to handily match in with last week's for my story.
My stepfamily are probably the fartiest people I have ever met. Fortunately I'm not all that related.
My Dad likes to light his farts when he gets drunk at family Christmas gatherings and once decided to fart inside the (quite elderly) dog's tent-shaped, enclosed-style bed. The poor dog got into it, turned around once and stuck her head out again as if to say, "What have you done?"
Then again, this is the same dog who in her last few days sneezed and shot out a (now legendary) 100mph poo.
My stepmum has been described as "The only woman I've ever met who lights her own farts" and enjoys making everyone else join in the trumpeting with her favourite Winter dish - 'farty bean stew'. This is basically a mixture of about 5 or 6 different kinds of beans and vegetables like sprouts and I'm sure it's her way of getting free heating throughout the winter.
But my little sister, at the tender age of 2, possibly tops the lot. Recently I took my boyfriend to meet the mad stepfamily for the first time, and the five of us were sat at the table having some kind of conversation. Suddenly the conversation is interrupted with the loudest PPPPAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP! you ever heard. Boyfriend's hair ripples with the soundwaves and a surprised expression fills his face.
"Who was that?" he enquires, looking around the room and trying to avoid looking my father in the eye.
"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Shouts the 2 year old, looking utterly delighted. Cue boyfriend's eyebrows nearly lifting off the top of his head and everybody else erupting into gales of laughter.
I would apologise, but he knows I like it
(Sat 14th Jul 2007, 15:41, More)
» Intense Friendships
My "Legendary" Bra
Is currently in the ownership of a certain friend of mine. We first met about six months ago, lost touch and met again a couple of weeks ago.
Having him introduce me to all his friends as "the girl whose bra that is" and seeing the looks on their faces, well that's intense.
I am reliably informed that it has been wanked over by at least two different people. I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or strangely proud.
(Sun 30th Jul 2006, 0:11, More)
My "Legendary" Bra
Is currently in the ownership of a certain friend of mine. We first met about six months ago, lost touch and met again a couple of weeks ago.
Having him introduce me to all his friends as "the girl whose bra that is" and seeing the looks on their faces, well that's intense.
I am reliably informed that it has been wanked over by at least two different people. I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or strangely proud.
(Sun 30th Jul 2006, 0:11, More)
» Strict Parents
My boyfriend's parents
Won't let me stay at his house later than 11pm.
He is 24 years old.
(Fri 9th Mar 2007, 14:16, More)
My boyfriend's parents
Won't let me stay at his house later than 11pm.
He is 24 years old.
(Fri 9th Mar 2007, 14:16, More)