» Accidentally Erotic

Some time ago I picked up my girlfriend to go to the pictures.
We said goodbye to her mum who was sitting watching the tennis. Got there, realised I'd left my wallet in the kitchen and had to go back and pick it up. Ran in only to be stopped dead in my tracks by the vision of her mum going hell for leather, staring at the telly. Obviously, she was very close because she glanced at me briefly, continued for a minute or so, then pulled down her skirt. We have never mentioned it to each other since but I really want to ask her if it Stefan Edberg or Pete Sampras who did it for her (1992 US open finals).
(Fri 3rd Feb 2006, 4:48, More)

» School Sports Day

Swimming Carnival
When I was 15, the hottest girl in our class was also academically brilliant and a natural sports star. She played netball, soccer, tennis and basketball in adult teams competetively, as well as swimming in the under 18 state squad. She was also the snobbiest bitch I have ever met, partly due to her parent's wealth, ( they owned a real estate business and several wineries) and partly because she knew she was so much better than everyone else.
So when it was the interschool swimming carnival, naturally she entered and won every event.

It still amuses me today when I think of her at the closing ceremony, medals around neck, standing smugly on the victory dias in her sleek Speedo costume, in front of hundreds of people, with the national anthem playing and her blissfully unaware of the menstrual blood trickling down her leg.
(Fri 31st Mar 2006, 0:30, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

yes - very enjoyable for all the wrong reasons
A couple of years ago I was in Thailand with 6 mates. On the way back to the hotel from a "show" (the usual ping pong ball shooting, cigarette smoking, fruit and/or vegetable insertion type) one, who shall only be known as Tony Dodds, was very pissed and had been made quite horny by the show, wanted to pick up a prostitute. The rest of us, who were all in relationships tried to talk him out of it but he was determined. Patpong is a nasty part of Bangkok that is full of prostitutes, but he couldn't find what he was after. In a cafe, an old lady came up to us and asked if we wanted to gangbang her daughter for 2500 baht. This worked out to about $85 Australian, $12 each. Good deal we thought. When we agreed, she asked us which hotel we were staying at and for the money up front. Her daughter was busy but would show up in about an hour. Just wanting to shut Tony up, nobody really expected her to actually show up but about 2 hours later, Tony knocked on my door to say she was there and to go to his room. When we got to his room, expecting to see a short little 15 year old girl, it came as a surprise to find a late 20s Thai woman who was close to 6 foot. Without going into great detail, other than Tony wanted us to video him with her, she basically, in very broken english, told us, in a very loud voice, that we were all pathetic losers that she wouldn't even spit on when walking down the street. She shouted insults and hit us all even while Tony was being amorous with her.
The video is one of the funniest things I have seen and still makes us laugh.


(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 12:12, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

Not my secrets but it did cause severe psychiatric trauma to me.
As a sideline, I repair and upgrade computers. Natrually, the very first thing I do when a computer is switched on is do a search for *.jpg to see what flavour porn the owner is into. Anyway, my ex-wife of 15 years was having trouble with her ADSL modem, so I said I'd have a look. By habit I did the search thing, while I was sorting out the problem. Fixed it, closing evrything, then I remembered the search, so I had a quick look.

(a quick reminder to everyone - when you use Kodak Easyshare software, that as well as downloading the pictures from the camera into the My Documents/My Pictures/Kodak Pictures folder, they are also placed in C:\Windows\temp)

A total of 68, 2304 X 1728 images, taken on self timer of the ex doing various masturbatory things, with some quite close up views. Apparently, they were for a personal ad that her current husband was unaware of.

Unfortunately, time hasn't been kind, plus the additional 30kg and the fact that when you are pushing 50, gravity has a way of catching up with you.
(Mon 13th Feb 2006, 11:06, More)

» Missing body parts

Vas Deferens
well not actually missing.
Vasectomy after 2 kids, seperate from their mother and marry her sister, vasectomy reversal, 2 more kids.
interesting scars.

note:
vasectomy = 10 minutes under a local anaesthetc
reversal = 3 1/2 hours of micro surgery under a GA
(Fri 2nd Jun 2006, 1:35, More)