» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

at college....
... the building I was in for Software Engineering was also the building which had the vocational courses and, of course, the special needs students...

One afternoon I was about to eat my lunch when i overheard a LOUD conversation between a bunch of windowlickers...

w/l #1: SHUT UP! VIRGIN!
w/l #2: WHO YOU TALKING TO? YOUR A VIRGIN TOO!
w/l #1: NAH I'M NOT! I SHAGGED TRISHA (*points to girl I can only assume is Trisha*) LAST NIGHT! DIDNT I?
Trisha: Yeah... we did it...
w/l #2 - 5: RUBBISH!
w/l #1: RIGHT! I'LL PROVE IT!

windowlicker #1 then proceeded to pull his pants down, pull Trisha's pants down and started humping her over a canteen table...

it took two security guards to get him 'out' and his cock was waving about the place as he desperately attempted to get back inside to finish up!
(Wed 27th Jun 2007, 11:19, More)

» Awesome Sickies

well... this really is bad karma.... but...
Once while working at the Odeon in newcastle, I got a stapler and half extracted one of the staples... Resulting in the stapler having two 'teeth' about a centimetre apart...

I then proceeded to swing the stapler at my forearm... Hard enough to petetrate the skin but not hard enough to actually staple myself... I did this for about 30 mins and left it for a couple of hours for the blood to clot...

Then i went to me superviser in a right panic and told him that i thought i had meningitis... i rolled a glass over my forearm, and as the blood had already clotted under my skin, it didn't fade...

I managed to blag 2 weeks out of work for that :)
(Mon 12th Jun 2006, 17:13, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

I wanked into a pair of boxer shorts....
then left them behind my bed for 20 years and then wanked into them again.
(Thu 4th Dec 2008, 16:25, More)

» Top Tips

Women..
Stop saying that all men are arseholes, when in fact all the men YOU have been out with are arseholes and you are therefore an arsehole magnet...

PS your bum DOES look big in that
(Wed 14th Feb 2007, 9:26, More)

» Banks

RARRGGHH!
INTERNET RAGE!

I hate *insert bank*, the bunch of *insert swear words*.

they messed up the application of my *insert bank account* so now I'm on here impotently typing expletives and vulgarities with one hand as I hold my broken, flaccid cock with the other. I only wanted to open the *insert bank account* so I could buy a Honda Accord and run over bullies..

BUT ALAS, IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE! THANK YOU VERY MUCH *insert bank*!!!
(Fri 17th Jul 2009, 14:22, More)