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Profile for Mr Jamie:
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» Stalked

Sometimes, when I was really stoned driving home,
I used to think that every car behind me was a police car.
(Mon 4th Feb 2008, 17:37, More)

» Vomit Pt2

Two "women" were fighting on the street out side the kebab house in my local town last night.
One was really quite large, and the other was quite thin, however unfathomably ugly. It started with a little bit of slapping then Jabba got the big guns out and punched the thin girl so hard in the stomach that she projected vomit all over the fat girls face. The fat one had been shouting bitch very aggressively at the time and got a mouth full of cheap vodka/half eaten kababy vomit, which in turn made her vomit (and simultaneously punch- got to give it to her she was capable of looking after herself much in the same way a banished cavewoman looks after herself) all over the thin girl. They continued fighting in a vomit covered, inebriated way until the police arrived about 5 minutes later and had to peel them apart. The look on the Policeman's face of utter dismay and disgrace at both what he had to do and the sight of the whole situation was as if he was watching 2girls1cup. Priceless!
(Sat 9th Jan 2010, 16:58, More)

» Kids

My grandparents puppy is currently trying to rape my 11 year old collie.
It is highly amusing, and when compared in human years it equates to a 3 year old dry fucking a 77 year old man.
Pensioner rape should be televised forthwith.
(Tue 22nd Apr 2008, 17:19, More)

» Shoplifting

A few years back
a few of old school friends, who I haven't spoken to in quite a while, decided it would be a good idea to steal 4 go-karts from a local private school, 1 of the four go-karts was broken, and the driver apprehended about half way home because he was doing about a third of the speed as the rest of them. This same group also thought it would be funny (which it was) to steal the big M from outside a macdonalds that was being put together nearby, and take it to an old, partially ruined, building on top of a nearby hill, and hang it out of one of the windows facing the town near-by. Oh what a stir they caused.
length: about 4 miles and 20ft up respectively
(Sun 13th Jan 2008, 17:36, More)

» Dumb things you've done

at the age of 5
i tried running down some coffin hole stairs (they kind of circle round at the bottom) which where made of stone, and that had no bannister...wearing my grandfathers slippers. i ended up screaming with a tennis ball sized lump on my elbow and still have a lump of displaced bone there 15 years later.
(Sat 22nd Dec 2007, 17:08, More)
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