Profile for WillF:
*foof* made this nice superhero version of me.
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*foof* made this nice superhero version of me.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Well, that taught 'em
Lame story, but made me feel better at the time.
I used to be a cook at a particular pizza chain that may or may not rhyme with "Meets A Slut". We had one regular customer who was a real twat. When ordering his pizza on the phone, he would list what toppings he wanted, and when you repeated the list back to him verbatim, he would become irate wondering why you were trying to poison him by putting (insert random topping) on his pizza (even though he'd just ASKED for it). Every time he came in to pick up his order, he would open the box, stare at the pizza for several minutes, and then complain about what incompetent fools we were, could never make a pizza right, etc. He would never accept our offers to replace his pizza, though. So one evening, after a particularly difficult phone conversation with him, I went over to the pizza-making line, and meticulously scraped out every single piece of crud I could find trapped in the treads of my boots. All of this nasty gunk went, of course, on his pizza. Before I put on the cheese, I reached down and gave my sweaty balls a good rub, then used my clean hand to put a handful of cheese into my sweaty ball hand, then dumped it on the pizza. A little extra cheese to cover the crud, and into the oven it went.
20 minutes later, customer opens his pizza box, looks at it with pleasant surprise, pulls out a slice and takes a huge bite of it. "Mmm, you guys finally got one right."
(Sat 28th Apr 2007, 3:47, More)
Lame story, but made me feel better at the time.
I used to be a cook at a particular pizza chain that may or may not rhyme with "Meets A Slut". We had one regular customer who was a real twat. When ordering his pizza on the phone, he would list what toppings he wanted, and when you repeated the list back to him verbatim, he would become irate wondering why you were trying to poison him by putting (insert random topping) on his pizza (even though he'd just ASKED for it). Every time he came in to pick up his order, he would open the box, stare at the pizza for several minutes, and then complain about what incompetent fools we were, could never make a pizza right, etc. He would never accept our offers to replace his pizza, though. So one evening, after a particularly difficult phone conversation with him, I went over to the pizza-making line, and meticulously scraped out every single piece of crud I could find trapped in the treads of my boots. All of this nasty gunk went, of course, on his pizza. Before I put on the cheese, I reached down and gave my sweaty balls a good rub, then used my clean hand to put a handful of cheese into my sweaty ball hand, then dumped it on the pizza. A little extra cheese to cover the crud, and into the oven it went.
20 minutes later, customer opens his pizza box, looks at it with pleasant surprise, pulls out a slice and takes a huge bite of it. "Mmm, you guys finally got one right."
(Sat 28th Apr 2007, 3:47, More)
» Rubbish Towns
Centralia, Pennsylvania
Never been there myself, but it has an interesting story.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centralia,_Pennsylvania
(Fri 30th Oct 2009, 19:54, More)
Centralia, Pennsylvania
Never been there myself, but it has an interesting story.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centralia,_Pennsylvania
(Fri 30th Oct 2009, 19:54, More)
» DIY Techno-hacks
Let there be light?
My house has a cupboard built underneath the stairs to the basement, where I store various canned goods. Unfortunately, the door opening is rather small, and the nearest light source is rather high up, making it difficult to read labels inside the cupboard. To remedy this, I scavenged some small aimable light fixtures from an old display case at the grocery store where I used to work, mounted them to a bit of plywood, and wired them to a push button switch hidden just inside the cabinet door. Thus, when you open the door, the lights come on - much as they do in your refrigerator.
(Fri 21st Aug 2009, 9:14, More)
Let there be light?
My house has a cupboard built underneath the stairs to the basement, where I store various canned goods. Unfortunately, the door opening is rather small, and the nearest light source is rather high up, making it difficult to read labels inside the cupboard. To remedy this, I scavenged some small aimable light fixtures from an old display case at the grocery store where I used to work, mounted them to a bit of plywood, and wired them to a push button switch hidden just inside the cabinet door. Thus, when you open the door, the lights come on - much as they do in your refrigerator.
(Fri 21st Aug 2009, 9:14, More)
» DIY Techno-hacks
hand-me down computing
I am an avid MUDder (Realms of Despair, for anyone interested) and have been for years. Back around 2003, though, this was a problem as we had 3 adults living in the house who all liked to play, but only 2 computers that worked...
Until my ex-wife gave me her old laptop.
This laptop's history was quite long, so give you the slim version. It was a Unisys 386sx, and rather clunky. The owner before my ex-wife was quite the tech geek. As the laptop ran rather hot, he decided to take an old CPU fan from a desktop, cut a hole in the laptop's case, and mount it there - result being that the laptop ran cooler, but you couldn't close it. When she decided to leave the UK and return to the States, he gave her the laptop so they could keep in touch. This of course required hacking in a new power supply to accommodate the difference in the plug, particularly because the battery would no longer hold a charge.
The ex used it for several months, but being the klutz that she was, knocked it around to the point where the screen no longer worked, and the hard drive died from physical damage. At that point, it passed into my hands.
Long story short, I took everything apart, and laid it out on the table. The battery, hard drive, CD-ROM drive, and PCMCIA slot all connected to the motherboard via rows of metal pins, rather than wires. So I pieced everything back together sans hard drive, plugged in an old 15" CRT monitor, got a PCMCIA ethernet card, and ran Knoppix in text-only mode. I was able to MUD again, at least until the table got bumped severing the connection between the battery and motherboard (which, having 2 small children running around, happened quite often).
(Fri 21st Aug 2009, 9:05, More)
hand-me down computing
I am an avid MUDder (Realms of Despair, for anyone interested) and have been for years. Back around 2003, though, this was a problem as we had 3 adults living in the house who all liked to play, but only 2 computers that worked...
Until my ex-wife gave me her old laptop.
This laptop's history was quite long, so give you the slim version. It was a Unisys 386sx, and rather clunky. The owner before my ex-wife was quite the tech geek. As the laptop ran rather hot, he decided to take an old CPU fan from a desktop, cut a hole in the laptop's case, and mount it there - result being that the laptop ran cooler, but you couldn't close it. When she decided to leave the UK and return to the States, he gave her the laptop so they could keep in touch. This of course required hacking in a new power supply to accommodate the difference in the plug, particularly because the battery would no longer hold a charge.
The ex used it for several months, but being the klutz that she was, knocked it around to the point where the screen no longer worked, and the hard drive died from physical damage. At that point, it passed into my hands.
Long story short, I took everything apart, and laid it out on the table. The battery, hard drive, CD-ROM drive, and PCMCIA slot all connected to the motherboard via rows of metal pins, rather than wires. So I pieced everything back together sans hard drive, plugged in an old 15" CRT monitor, got a PCMCIA ethernet card, and ran Knoppix in text-only mode. I was able to MUD again, at least until the table got bumped severing the connection between the battery and motherboard (which, having 2 small children running around, happened quite often).
(Fri 21st Aug 2009, 9:05, More)
» When were you last really scared?
Reading someone else's story about children falling down stairs
reminded me of the day after my wedding. Mrs. F's parents were visiting from Alaska, so we decided to take them to the Ponce Inlet lighthouse. When we got there, my boys (aged 3 and 5) and I were the only ones that wanted to go up. So we head up the 213 steps to the observation deck. The observation deck is a small room, just beneath the lens room, where you can walk outside and around the circumference of the lighthouse. It's another 10 steps up to the lens room, but there's a steel gate barring entry at the top of the stairs. As I had my camera with me, I decided to get a picture of the lens from down on the observation deck. So as I'm looking through the viewfinder, lining up a decent shot, I hear the sickening thud of flesh and bone hitting steel deck plate. I quickly look down to see my 3-year old on his head, on the deck, the rest of his body finally making contact with the steel. Apparently in the 3 seconds I wasn't paying attention, he'd climbed the 10 steps up to the lens room and fallen. However, it wasn't the fall that scared me. It was the aftermath. I dropped the camera and scooped up my little one. He was eerily silent, not crying, breathing short, shallow breaths, and not moving. I tried to stand him up and he collapsed like a limp noodle. "Oh *SHIT*" thinks I, he's paralyzed. So I scoop him up and grab his brother by the hand, and start SPRINTING down the 213 step spiral staircase, shoving people out of the way, eventually picked up big brother because his little legs couldn't go fast enough, and burst out into the parking lot carrying 80 lbs. worth of children. By the time we got to the car, the little one had fully recovered, no harm done whatsoever. Not even a bruise. It was definitely one scary moment I'll never, ever forget.
(Wed 28th Feb 2007, 4:18, More)
Reading someone else's story about children falling down stairs
reminded me of the day after my wedding. Mrs. F's parents were visiting from Alaska, so we decided to take them to the Ponce Inlet lighthouse. When we got there, my boys (aged 3 and 5) and I were the only ones that wanted to go up. So we head up the 213 steps to the observation deck. The observation deck is a small room, just beneath the lens room, where you can walk outside and around the circumference of the lighthouse. It's another 10 steps up to the lens room, but there's a steel gate barring entry at the top of the stairs. As I had my camera with me, I decided to get a picture of the lens from down on the observation deck. So as I'm looking through the viewfinder, lining up a decent shot, I hear the sickening thud of flesh and bone hitting steel deck plate. I quickly look down to see my 3-year old on his head, on the deck, the rest of his body finally making contact with the steel. Apparently in the 3 seconds I wasn't paying attention, he'd climbed the 10 steps up to the lens room and fallen. However, it wasn't the fall that scared me. It was the aftermath. I dropped the camera and scooped up my little one. He was eerily silent, not crying, breathing short, shallow breaths, and not moving. I tried to stand him up and he collapsed like a limp noodle. "Oh *SHIT*" thinks I, he's paralyzed. So I scoop him up and grab his brother by the hand, and start SPRINTING down the 213 step spiral staircase, shoving people out of the way, eventually picked up big brother because his little legs couldn't go fast enough, and burst out into the parking lot carrying 80 lbs. worth of children. By the time we got to the car, the little one had fully recovered, no harm done whatsoever. Not even a bruise. It was definitely one scary moment I'll never, ever forget.
(Wed 28th Feb 2007, 4:18, More)