» Ignoring Instructions

You know that stuff that comes with football boots and says 'do not eat'?
Ate it.

Nearly died.

Don't eat it.
(Thu 4th May 2006, 18:27, More)

» Heckles

Last week
I was at Carlisle vs. Swansea Shitty.

Cyril the Swan (Swansea mascot) is walking out the tunnel. I start singing "your going down with the bird flu, down with the bird flu"

15,000 Carlisle fans join in. Swan walks off.
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 10:04, More)

» That's me on TV!

Length
I streaked at Maccesfield v Shrewsbury and was shown on Soccer Sunday.

Win.
(Mon 15th Jun 2009, 1:57, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

When working as airport security
Handed somebody their case from the x-ray belt. Didn't notice midget stood in front of them.

Knocked him out with heavy case.

I don't work there anymore.
(Thu 18th Dec 2008, 15:42, More)

» Addicted

Mainly just the heroin
Yup.
(Thu 18th Dec 2008, 16:58, More)