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- a member for 3 years, 7 months and 25 days
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» Dumb things you've done
Toilet face
I woke up a while back needing a shit something horrible but also needed a piss, top this off with a relentless morning glory. I sat down on the loo and tried bending it into the bowl etc but had no chance of making that work. I honestly thought I could squeeze the tip of my nob hard enough to stop the flow, I gripped hard, released my bowels and promptly sprayed concentrated morning piss all over my own face.
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 17:04, More)
Toilet face
I woke up a while back needing a shit something horrible but also needed a piss, top this off with a relentless morning glory. I sat down on the loo and tried bending it into the bowl etc but had no chance of making that work. I honestly thought I could squeeze the tip of my nob hard enough to stop the flow, I gripped hard, released my bowels and promptly sprayed concentrated morning piss all over my own face.
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 17:04, More)
» Food sabotage
Derserved
I lived with a few guys who loved to take on drunken challenges, i'm guessing to prove how 'hard' they were.
One night this involved eating/drinking stupid or disguting things. Creative, hmmmm.
I challenged them to eat a tablespoon of salt and wash it down with a shot of vinegar. To be fair to me, I honestly didn't know that replacing the salt with bicarbonate of soda would make them vomit as much as they did. But it wash fucking funny.
(Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 23:01, More)
Derserved
I lived with a few guys who loved to take on drunken challenges, i'm guessing to prove how 'hard' they were.
One night this involved eating/drinking stupid or disguting things. Creative, hmmmm.
I challenged them to eat a tablespoon of salt and wash it down with a shot of vinegar. To be fair to me, I honestly didn't know that replacing the salt with bicarbonate of soda would make them vomit as much as they did. But it wash fucking funny.
(Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 23:01, More)
» Conned
Special kid con
I nearly got conned out of a fiver by a young lad with downs. I kindly offered to have a game of pool with him after which he grabbed the cues and the white ball, handed them over the bar and got my £5 deposit. Took me fucking ages to chase him round the pub and get it back. His parents chose to just laugh, brilliant. Probably makes a fortune out of it cos people don't want to make a fuss, little bastard.
(Wed 24th Oct 2007, 18:59, More)
Special kid con
I nearly got conned out of a fiver by a young lad with downs. I kindly offered to have a game of pool with him after which he grabbed the cues and the white ball, handed them over the bar and got my £5 deposit. Took me fucking ages to chase him round the pub and get it back. His parents chose to just laugh, brilliant. Probably makes a fortune out of it cos people don't want to make a fuss, little bastard.
(Wed 24th Oct 2007, 18:59, More)
» Encounters with Royalty
After years of sillver service....
you all talk crap
(Thu 3rd Aug 2006, 19:24, More)
After years of sillver service....
you all talk crap
(Thu 3rd Aug 2006, 19:24, More)
» Crap meals out
Meat in france
The french do not have the same idea what 'medium' means when cooking meat. After ordering the duck breast in a restaurant in sothern france, i was presented with my 'medium' cooked duck breast. Two things immediately struck me 1) It was so rare it was probably still capable of swimming in the nearby fish tank. 2) It was suspiciously large, so much so i am convinced it was from a goose, or it was several pigeons glued together. After asking for the meal to be cooked a little more it was returned slightly warmer with the salad and chips still soaking in the blood from beforehand, went home and had a pizza, spot on
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 14:34, More)
Meat in france
The french do not have the same idea what 'medium' means when cooking meat. After ordering the duck breast in a restaurant in sothern france, i was presented with my 'medium' cooked duck breast. Two things immediately struck me 1) It was so rare it was probably still capable of swimming in the nearby fish tank. 2) It was suspiciously large, so much so i am convinced it was from a goose, or it was several pigeons glued together. After asking for the meal to be cooked a little more it was returned slightly warmer with the salad and chips still soaking in the blood from beforehand, went home and had a pizza, spot on
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 14:34, More)