Profile for beanojam:
hello...
i am ben, a QOTW lurker, (very) occasional image challenge poster (i have the skills, just not often the imagination), thrash metal guitarist and father of one.
i get paid to record audiobooks and other stuff for a living. occasionally this includes erotica, but this is actually far less interesting than you might actually think. although we do have a good laugh at how crap some of the stories are...
this is me
i was happy i'd made fire...
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- a member for 3 years, 6 months and 1 day
- has posted 16 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 26 stories and 97 replies on question of the week
- They liked 5 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 35 qotw answers.
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hello...
i am ben, a QOTW lurker, (very) occasional image challenge poster (i have the skills, just not often the imagination), thrash metal guitarist and father of one.
i get paid to record audiobooks and other stuff for a living. occasionally this includes erotica, but this is actually far less interesting than you might actually think. although we do have a good laugh at how crap some of the stories are...
this is me
i was happy i'd made fire...
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» I don't understand the attraction
Episodic TV
The Wire, Lost, Heroes, Battlestar Galactica, soaps; the list goes on of things I haven't watched. I just can't be arsed really.
Give me something I can drop in on anytime; you and your overarching storylines can bugger off.
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 15:29, More)
Episodic TV
The Wire, Lost, Heroes, Battlestar Galactica, soaps; the list goes on of things I haven't watched. I just can't be arsed really.
Give me something I can drop in on anytime; you and your overarching storylines can bugger off.
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 15:29, More)
» My Biggest Disappointment
Mr Frosty is such fun
A couple of years back, my younger brother and I were bemoaning the fact that – despite them being all over the TV and stuff – we never had a Mr Frosty iced drink maker thing when we were kids. We were half-joking but our mother's ears obviously pricked up...
Fast forward to Christmas that year. There's an odd package under the tree for both beanojam and beanojam's brother. This is unusual.
Well bugger us sideways with a rusty tuba if it isn't our (should-have-been) childhood friend Mr Frosty! We were well chuffed (bear in mind at this point that we would have been aged about 22 and 19...).
So of course first thing we do in the period between finishing the present frenzy and having far too much food is go and raid the freezer for ice to try and make 'great drinks for everyone...' (or whatever the hell the catchphrase was).
*crunch*
Fucking cheap plastic shite. It could barely crush the ice and the flavours made it taste like crap. Then the handle snapped. FFS. Childhood nostalgia shattered.
You can still buy these things. My advice? Don't bother.
Get a fucking blender and draw a smiley face on it.
(Fri 27th Jun 2008, 14:02, More)
Mr Frosty is such fun
A couple of years back, my younger brother and I were bemoaning the fact that – despite them being all over the TV and stuff – we never had a Mr Frosty iced drink maker thing when we were kids. We were half-joking but our mother's ears obviously pricked up...
Fast forward to Christmas that year. There's an odd package under the tree for both beanojam and beanojam's brother. This is unusual.
Well bugger us sideways with a rusty tuba if it isn't our (should-have-been) childhood friend Mr Frosty! We were well chuffed (bear in mind at this point that we would have been aged about 22 and 19...).
So of course first thing we do in the period between finishing the present frenzy and having far too much food is go and raid the freezer for ice to try and make 'great drinks for everyone...' (or whatever the hell the catchphrase was).
*crunch*
Fucking cheap plastic shite. It could barely crush the ice and the flavours made it taste like crap. Then the handle snapped. FFS. Childhood nostalgia shattered.
You can still buy these things. My advice? Don't bother.
Get a fucking blender and draw a smiley face on it.
(Fri 27th Jun 2008, 14:02, More)
» Accidental innuendo
hooray, remembered one!
I live near a small village called Fishbourne, in which there is a pub called 'The Blackboy Inn'.
Possibly not that funny (maybe mildly racist, I've never been sure...), until driving back from a road trip somewhere we tried to tell my friend behind the wheel where we'd got to.
Resulting in him saying: 'Blackboy Inn my arse.'
Much hilarity ensued...
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 19:46, More)
hooray, remembered one!
I live near a small village called Fishbourne, in which there is a pub called 'The Blackboy Inn'.
Possibly not that funny (maybe mildly racist, I've never been sure...), until driving back from a road trip somewhere we tried to tell my friend behind the wheel where we'd got to.
Resulting in him saying: 'Blackboy Inn my arse.'
Much hilarity ensued...
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 19:46, More)
» Terrible food
anchor spray cream
does not replace milk on a bowl of crunchy nut clusters. trust me on this.
(Mon 21st May 2007, 20:14, More)
anchor spray cream
does not replace milk on a bowl of crunchy nut clusters. trust me on this.
(Mon 21st May 2007, 20:14, More)
» Blood
sofas
I have only one story about blood that I can recall. It's short and (possibly definitely) shit.
I too have bled everywhere. From my head (they're always the killers). All over our lovely cream sofas too (which was the point when I realised I was bleeding in the first place). That's not funny or interesting really, unless you're interested in my sofas.
The stupid/humorous bit is that I managed to split my head open on..
the
ceiling.
Twat.
(Thu 7th Aug 2008, 17:58, More)
sofas
I have only one story about blood that I can recall. It's short and (
I too have bled everywhere. From my head (they're always the killers). All over our lovely cream sofas too (which was the point when I realised I was bleeding in the first place). That's not funny or interesting really, unless you're interested in my sofas.
The stupid/humorous bit is that I managed to split my head open on..
the
ceiling.
Twat.
(Thu 7th Aug 2008, 17:58, More)