Catinacan[tm]
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woo
(Mon 18th Feb 2002, 18:03, More)

» When were you last really scared?

shameful, i am
As a wee lassie of about 4 years younger than I am now, I went to see The Ring at the picture house.

I enjoyed the film and was of course slightly scared.

A week later, almost to the hour, I was pottering around in my room and I sat down on the bed to pick a textbook out of the bookshelf. The television on top of the shelf turned on. All on its own.

A little bit of poo nearly came out, I screamed, and jumped up... only to find I had sat on the remote control.

Uhuh.
(Tue 27th Feb 2007, 2:10, More)

» Pet Stories

greedy houdini
I have a little story about my little hamster Harriet.

Harriet, who is sadly no longer with us, was effing huge, and really, really beautiful. Sable fur and big big eyes, she looked like a tiny bear.

Harriet was a real homemaker, she got very affronted when anyone dared to move anything in her cage and would kick up a real fuss and block all the tubes up with sawdust whenever you cleaned her out.

One night, mummy dearest forgot to put the lid back on Harriet's cage after she had been for her nightly stroll around the house in her royal hamster ball.

Harriet, being so proud of her home, did not attempt an escape. Instead, she sauntered out, hoovered up all the hamster treats and sugar flowers mum had been making for a wedding cake and had left on the dresser, and then calmly put herself back to bed.

Awww.


Also, if anyone says hamsters aren't intelligent they are WRONG WRONG WRONG - Harriet knew my voice and would climb up on my mum's shoulder to listen to me talk on the phone when I was away and calling home. How very cute.

I miss that little fluffy thing :(
(Mon 11th Jun 2007, 22:33, More)

» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

bridal shop
I was on my way from Leeds to Southampton to help my best friend look for a wedding dress. I work till about 7pm and the first appointment was at 10am at the other end of the country, so I got the overnight coach from Leeds to London thinking all would be well and I would get at least 4 hours kip on the way down. Unfortunately:

1) the coach stopped at every tiny little place it could on the way down, including twice at service stations to let other national express drivers get on/off.

2) every time the coach stopped, the crazy spanish driver yelled the name of the town in a weird foreign accent and flashed the hideous fluorescent lights three times... just in case anyone was still asleep

3) at nottingham she proceeded to have an all-out argument with a boy who was putting his girlfriend on the coach. he demanded that she sit next to a girl and i was the only female with a free seat next to them on the whole coach. driver WOKE ME UP to explain why someone had to sit next to me

4) said girl then called her boyfriend every ten minutes for the next half hour of the trip to a) make sure he got home okay b) ask him to eat the sausages she had left in the fridge for him c) remind him to go to bed - at FOUR AM!!

5) When this girl finally fell asleep, she had fitful dreams which involved her elbow poking into my side once every five minutes.

When I finally changed at London, I then managed to sit myself in front of two hideously xenophobic american tourists who uttered such choice phrases as "it's just as well they built that while they still had an empire and lots of money" (while driving past the natural history museum) and "i don't understand why they have to have new underground lines, why don't they just put it up in the sky"

By this time, I was too incensed to get any more sleep before I arrived in Southampton. I managed it through three dress viewings and lunch before the sleeplessness of the previous night took its toll and I passed out cold on a sofa in the middle of the third shop. While my friend, whose chief bridesmaid I am supposed to be, was trying to show me the dress she ended up buying for the wedding. i woke up with three separate bridal parties staring at me asking the bride's mum if i was okay.


I'm the best friend in the world :D
(Sun 31st Dec 2006, 3:20, More)

» My Worst Vomit

pink and peachy
i must have been about seventeen, and there's a very nice local pub for local people around here where you can have a double shot of any flavoured vodka for £1.

so i set out on my quest to become one of the less sober people, and was partying on the strawberry vodka and lemonades all night.

having eaten that day

one peach.


so at 11:20pm, things are going a bit blurry, and i remember vaguely staggering down the high street with a friend under each arm trying to stop me falling over/walking into a wall.

stopped off at the local dodgy kebab/chicken shop, and got some chips. then got into daddy's car and went for a nice drive home.

i managed about two chips before i started feeling like i was going to see the strawberry vodka again, so i just opened the window and tried to breathe in the lovely woodland air from the lovely woods on the way home.

i managed the 20 minute drive, the wait for daddy to find his door keys and the run up the stairs to the bathroom.

only to eject my day's consumptions over the floor in front of the toilet. mmm! interestingly you could see what i had eaten as there were 4 lumps of peach and 2 perfectly whole chips in the middle of transparent dayglo pink vodka sick (fizzy).

mummy and daddy were very nice about it, and even cleaned up for me, probably because i am a happy, loving drunk and at one point (during later vomiting into the actual loo this time) told my daddy that i loved him very much and i would hug him if he would stop spinning, please.


the only other vaguely interesting vomstory i have is when i went out as a fresher. me and a friend from halls used to buy cheap safeway vodka/meths stuff (barcode label!) and drink that with coke before we went out in order to save money. one tuesday evening on the voddy we were all ready to go out so i ran out of her room, tumbled down two flights of stairs (completely fucking my ankle in the process), sprinted for the bus to camden, and on the 27 bus from paddington to camden managed to spew all over the floor. not a drop on myself, mind. but i think being alcoholically induced sick on the way to the place you are going is probably a sign of needing professional help from the AA.


oh and once i was sick in feet first for two hours and the guy who was trying to get it on with me was still waiting outside the ladies' for me when i came out. i felt sorry for him so i downed a pint of water and then snogged him. HA!
(Sun 22nd Aug 2004, 23:25, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

everything makes me cry, i am a cry baby
i miss my ex, that makes me cry, mainly cause he's moving away and i'm probably not going to see too much of him after that. i cry a lot about that.

cried at the ends of FF-X and FF-X2, damn those computer generated sprites.

cried at that PETA video.

cried cause my stomach hurt.

cried some more, just in case.

haaa i am lame
(Thu 14th Apr 2005, 20:33, More)