» Sleepwalking

Gasp o' delight!
Indeed I have several stories for this question, and I shall save the best for last.

I'll start with my mother, who is partial to falling asleep in the middle of a conversation, while still continuing it.

I was once sat on her bed as she dozed, telling her of my worries about something to do with my boyfriend, and got the wonderful advice:

"Pull his ears."

What?

"Pull his ears! To stop the elves."

As lovely as that was, I didn't try it and instead left her to sleep.

She often wakes up in the middle of the night to hold similarly nonsensical conversations with my poor unsuspecting and befuddled dad.
(Wed 22nd Aug 2007, 23:54, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

Our fluffy rabbit, Pumpkin
Started life as a tiny girl rabbit called Poppy but was quickly revealed to be a Pumpkin when he took a liking to humping our feet. Off to the vets he went.

He spent his life chasing your toes, rubbing noses with you, hopping up for cuddles, hiding in piles of cuddly toys and leaping off chairs onto the christmas tree, knocking it all over with much mess, as he was a complete chocoholic.

There was one time he became suddenly ill with such blocked lungs that he stood on the spot just to get enough energy to breathe. The vet gave him an injection and said he probably wouldn't live, but my sister sat beside him all the time, perched on a chair, and he pulled through.

He showed even more love to her after that and sought her out for cuddles, which I saw as him showing his appreciation.

He always had eye problems too. What we didn't know was over time his back teeth were slowly growing into his head, causing him eating problems and alot of pain. The vet said he was slowly starving but was so fluffy we didn't notice.

He was always so happy, and willing to play. We never thought for a moment that he was in pain and even though he had had teeth problems before we assumed it was fine.

So last year on the 22nd of this month I think it was, we had him put to sleep. We all still miss him and my eyes are getting wet as I type.

We never knew he was in pain, just assumed he was fine because he was so happy. I hope that means we made him happy and that he felt loved. Because he certainly was.
(Sun 9th Dec 2007, 0:17, More)

» Personal Ads

A tale of two messenger programmes....
Back in the year 2003 we got a new computer, and feeling a bit lonely and having just discovered MSN, I decided to search profiles of British boys my age. Not exactly intended personal ads but effectively they were to me.

I found three I said hello to via their profiles: one claimed to be a piece of toast, the other loved dinosaurs and the third was a sarcy bastard who looked fun, which I told him and it pissed him off more.

So no to toast boy and dinosaur man, whereas sarcy bastard accused me of selling pornography and we eventually fell in love. Met for real two years back, still together.

Now we move on to Skypé. A programme downloaded so I could talk to my sarcy mister and still be able to peruse the internets.

I do not know what I have written, or what sort of spell has been placed on my profile, but I am a magnet for horny Turkish men.

And yes, only Turkish men. I've had about twelve of them so far trying to remove my "cyber pants" as they shall be dubbed. When pissed off at a clear refusal one went so far as to call me a "fishy cunt donkey". No, I'm not sure what that is either.

So there you go...
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 21:57, More)

» Cringe!

Dirty theiving scum...
I'm a good wee girl. Yep, I am. I think.

At work once, going down to the checkouts just after closing with some reduced stock to buy the checkout girl asked if I wanted a bag. Yep, thought my mind, so people don't think I'm nicking anything. Good idea!

"Yep, thanks, "I said to her, "so people don't know I'm nicking anything."

She handed me my change in stoney silence, giving me an odd look, and I slunk back off to the bakery branded a theif by my own lying tongue.
(Mon 1st Dec 2008, 19:57, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Reading down a post...
only to experience the feeling of bored disappointment as I realise it's just another shitty porn post.

Surely I can't be the only one who's sick of them now? Perhaps I am, who knows. I may be some sort of anomaly. It was funny with Frankspencer but everyone seems to have jumped on the bandwagon now and it's getting pretty dull.
(Tue 1st Jul 2008, 14:06, More)