» Tramps

Foot in Mouth
My favourate encounter with a homeless person occured when wondering back from Peterborough's classy Queensgate shopping centre over the foot bridge to the station.

There was normally someone on this bridge asking for change, and this particular day was no different. Being a young, caring Padawan (or maybe due to an annoying strong conscience, I once went back into a shop to give them back 10p which they had over-changed me - I had been agonising over all day, yet I digress) I checked my pockets but realised I didn't have a single coin to rub together (nor a one-handed clap).

I asked him if he smoked instead and he said yes so I offered him the packet with the immortal line that still makes me cringe to this day:

"Cool well have one of these, sorry, they're only Lambert and Butlers but Beggars can't be..."

It was at that point when I realised what I was about to say. My face went white and the guy looked sharply at me seeing if I was taking the piss. The look of horror on my face must have been priceless as he burst out laughing. I threw the whole pack at his feet before stammering an apology and running across the rest of the bridge, his laughter echoing after me all the way...
(Mon 6th Jul 2009, 16:44, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Good old Mum
I went to a boarding school but was a day pupil there. It was a small town and the school pretty much was the school. The boarders were not allowed to the local pub. We,however, could do what we wantwed after 4pm.
So Sat night I was down in the pub with some friends and a long comes a teacher. Tries to get us to leave, calls over the landlord (a good mate of ours) who laughs and brings us a ll a free drink.
Teacher goes back and writes a letter to all our parents (so and so was seen drinking at the pub, blah, blah, blah).
My mum writes back saying: "thank you so much for letting me know. I'm always so worried that when he says he's going down to the pub he's really going to the park and taking lots of drugs. So glad he's safe at the pub and not lying to me."
Leg end.
Length? for my first post I thinkniig it's quite impressive. It'll shrink with time.
(Fri 20th Jul 2007, 16:30, More)

» Buses

Scouse Bus Drivers
Having lived in Liverpool for 8 years now, I know that Scousers get a lot of bad press, most of it undeserved. Bus Drivers, possibly, more than most.

Not only do they have to put with a lot of Scallys smoking weed and ciggies, being aggressive (I've seen more than one scally pull a knief to try and rob a driver-both times have resulted in a very sorry looking kid in a trakkie flat on his back in the road) and more abuse then anyone should have to put up for doing a job that is of vital importance to those of us without cars, they generally do it with smile.

Ok so you get a few grappy nob-heads but you would do with the amount shit they put up with, but on the whole they are friendly and polite.

I'm especally indebted to them as after leaving my phone on a bus last Monday I got an email from my Mum who had been rang up by the driver who had left his number. I rang him and he went out of his way (with family) to drop my phone off at my house that evening.

Random acts of kindness are always so much greater for their unexpectedness. To do this for some gormless idoit who left his phone on your bus, I think deserves a medal. He also taped up the back which I had been meaning to fix for ages cos the battery kept falling out. What a star.
(Mon 29th Jun 2009, 12:56, More)

» Buses

Peruvian buses
I spent a year out in Peru and loved it. It is a country that is very suited to me. It took me a while, however to get used to it.

In my first week I visited Nasca and the famous Nazca Lines. For various reasons I really didn't enjoy the trip and ended up having to escape the Town rather quickly. The last bus was at 10.30pm. It was 10.25 and we had 10mins distance to cover.

The taxi raced through the streets, tires screeching on each bend. Up ahead the light turns yellow, does he slow down, no he speeds up, ploughing through the junctions as the light turns red. We arrive at the bus stop to a big bus pulling off. We jump out screaming "espara" or wait, but it was too late, the bus was gone.

We went into the office to ask if there was a later bus, just in case. "Yes" she said "the ten thirty".

"But that just left!",

"No that was the 8.30"

Ah, right, of course. What was I thinking, this is Peru! If a bus leaves at 10.30 it doesn`t leave at 10.30. God I love this place: The procrastinator`s Heaven.
(Mon 29th Jun 2009, 13:13, More)

» Being told off as an adult

Yet another "my mate at uni" story. Sorry
One of my mates at uni wondered into the local 24hr ASDA after a particuly heavy night. Joy upon joy he discovered there on the floor a green ASDA fleece left, rather stupidly, unattended. He put it on, who wouldn’t, and started wondering around the large shop.
After a few people asking him where things were he had the idea to start directing shoppers to different queues and acting like traffic plod.
All of a sudden his grabbed by big scary scouse bouncer and dragged into the back office. He was shouted at for a good 15min about stealing (yes, despite not even having stolen anything he was stealing) and told he was luckily they didn’t call the police and then he was banned from the shop for life. He even tried to go in there a few months later and was recognised and kicked out again!
It just makes me laugh at how many crackheads must have thought Christmas had come early as the security was busy for so long elsewhere.
(Wed 26th Sep 2007, 15:02, More)