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This is me.
I'm Ian. I'm from Buckinghamshire, which is not as posh as people apparently think.
I'm becoming more and more dependant on B3ta for my daily fix of procrastination, and the fix is getting longer and longer. STOP MAKING ME LAUGH YOU CUNTS.
I, sadly, have a MySpace.
Check out my band's MySpace too, here.
Photos of and by me in my Flickr.
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Baldmonkey, in his incesent quest to irritate me with his internet poetry, wrote this
FoldsFive made this. 'Tis me!
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If you can think of a reason why you'd ever have the need to contact me, I'm here: ianforknall at hotmail dot co dot uk
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This is me.
I'm Ian. I'm from Buckinghamshire, which is not as posh as people apparently think.
I'm becoming more and more dependant on B3ta for my daily fix of procrastination, and the fix is getting longer and longer. STOP MAKING ME LAUGH YOU CUNTS.
I, sadly, have a MySpace.
Check out my band's MySpace too, here.
Photos of and by me in my Flickr.
--------------------------------------------
Baldmonkey, in his incesent quest to irritate me with his internet poetry, wrote this
FoldsFive made this. 'Tis me!
--------------------------------------------
I am a member of the following cliques:
Good day!
Click This One
If you can think of a reason why you'd ever have the need to contact me, I'm here: ianforknall at hotmail dot co dot uk
Things what I done:
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Inappropriate crushes
Labyrinth
I first watched The Labyrinth when I was about 8. I can still remember being besotted with Sarah in her baggy white blouse and tight jeans.
Near the beginning of her journey, she's walking down the walled corridor (where she meets the worm, and just before she meets Hoggle). And then some upbeat music starts and as if she were an angel, she starts to run.
Her dark hair flowing behind her, her little brown plimsoles. The breasticulars!!. Oh, the breasticulars under her loose white shirt were clearly not supported by anything as inhibiting as a brassiere. I used to imagine them under there, jigging up and down, occasionally the nipples being stroked by her flowing blouse, and her getting turned on by it a little bit. I was in love.
Shortly after this display of shear wonderfulness, she meets Hoggle. The ugly dwarf thing, and he's fumigating what could only be described by his mannerisms and general mood, as a garden pest.
But oh no. I was in heaven. Sarah, with her delicate hands, picks up one of the pests.
It's a fairy. A fucking hot fairy. It's now sitting in Sarah's hand. My first encounter of lesbian action! The fairy had sparkly cute wings with a little, lace, low-cut mini dress and bare feet.
I've watched The Labyrinth over and over again during my 23 years of life and I can still manage to deplete a box of Kleenex on the strength of it.
No apologies for length.
I'm off. To watch The Labyrinth
Share my Labyrinth love:
Sarah
Fairy
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 16:01, More)
Labyrinth
I first watched The Labyrinth when I was about 8. I can still remember being besotted with Sarah in her baggy white blouse and tight jeans.
Near the beginning of her journey, she's walking down the walled corridor (where she meets the worm, and just before she meets Hoggle). And then some upbeat music starts and as if she were an angel, she starts to run.
Her dark hair flowing behind her, her little brown plimsoles. The breasticulars!!. Oh, the breasticulars under her loose white shirt were clearly not supported by anything as inhibiting as a brassiere. I used to imagine them under there, jigging up and down, occasionally the nipples being stroked by her flowing blouse, and her getting turned on by it a little bit. I was in love.
Shortly after this display of shear wonderfulness, she meets Hoggle. The ugly dwarf thing, and he's fumigating what could only be described by his mannerisms and general mood, as a garden pest.
But oh no. I was in heaven. Sarah, with her delicate hands, picks up one of the pests.
It's a fairy. A fucking hot fairy. It's now sitting in Sarah's hand. My first encounter of lesbian action! The fairy had sparkly cute wings with a little, lace, low-cut mini dress and bare feet.
I've watched The Labyrinth over and over again during my 23 years of life and I can still manage to deplete a box of Kleenex on the strength of it.
No apologies for length.
I'm off. To watch The Labyrinth
Share my Labyrinth love:
Sarah
Fairy
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 16:01, More)
» Road Rage
I had a Renault 5 at the time.
I was driving home from work and was itching to put my foot down. You know, like you do sometimes. I just wanted to go fast.
I was behind a guy doing 55mph in a 60 zone so I thought; great I'll overtake and get it out of my system.
It was a fairly wide road and it had a very slight and long curve round to the right. "O.K., Go!” I accelerated. Now, I was in a Renault 5 remember, Campus 1000cc to be exact (super dude, woo!), I gained slowly, but surely and pulled out to go past.
In the distance I see a car coming the other way and I'm struggling to get passed this guy. I'm too far to abort, but not quite fast enough to get back in lane in time. I'm now level with the guy I'm overtaking, and put my foot to the actual floor! My heart is pounding my chest like a child trapped in a toy box.
The car coming towards me starts flashing his lights, we're getting closer and closer at a combined speed of at least 120mph, then, as soon as my back end was inches in front of the guy I was overtaking, I darted in, and the opposing car whizzes by flashing and beeping the fuck out of his horn.
The 55mph guy, now behind me is also flashing me. Clearly pissed off that I just endangered his and the opposing driver's lives. But I don't care. I'm alive and THAT was an adrenaline rush!
I look up, "Shit. Road works". The light is green, "Please stay green, please stay green, please stay green". They change to red.
Now I have to sit and look at that guy behind me in my rear view mirror.
Trying to avoid looking in my mirror, I adjust my radio. "Knock, Knock".
"Fuck".
I wound down my window. He said "Nice driving back there."
I just smiled sheepishly.
"What's even better is that I'm an off-duty police officer, and I'm going to issue you a summons. Your number plate, F432 MBW isn't it? Right, cheers mate, have a nice day."
At this point I started shaking. I was actually in shock, and shitting my pants. I kept getting flashes of me standing in the dock being shouted at wigged barristers and the shame I would bring on my family.
The lights changed green and I drove away at about 40 miles an hour for the rest of the way home.
I dreaded the post every morning after that for about 6 weeks. Then I thought to myself, "Hang on, that guy didn't provide any I.D., he didn't give me any documentation, and he didn't record the incident, he's off duty, if he is a copper at all, and he was driving a shitty Peugeot 106. He just said that to scare the shit out of me..."
What a fucking lengthy canting bustard.
(Fri 13th Oct 2006, 12:46, More)
I had a Renault 5 at the time.
I was driving home from work and was itching to put my foot down. You know, like you do sometimes. I just wanted to go fast.
I was behind a guy doing 55mph in a 60 zone so I thought; great I'll overtake and get it out of my system.
It was a fairly wide road and it had a very slight and long curve round to the right. "O.K., Go!” I accelerated. Now, I was in a Renault 5 remember, Campus 1000cc to be exact (super dude, woo!), I gained slowly, but surely and pulled out to go past.
In the distance I see a car coming the other way and I'm struggling to get passed this guy. I'm too far to abort, but not quite fast enough to get back in lane in time. I'm now level with the guy I'm overtaking, and put my foot to the actual floor! My heart is pounding my chest like a child trapped in a toy box.
The car coming towards me starts flashing his lights, we're getting closer and closer at a combined speed of at least 120mph, then, as soon as my back end was inches in front of the guy I was overtaking, I darted in, and the opposing car whizzes by flashing and beeping the fuck out of his horn.
The 55mph guy, now behind me is also flashing me. Clearly pissed off that I just endangered his and the opposing driver's lives. But I don't care. I'm alive and THAT was an adrenaline rush!
I look up, "Shit. Road works". The light is green, "Please stay green, please stay green, please stay green". They change to red.
Now I have to sit and look at that guy behind me in my rear view mirror.
Trying to avoid looking in my mirror, I adjust my radio. "Knock, Knock".
"Fuck".
I wound down my window. He said "Nice driving back there."
I just smiled sheepishly.
"What's even better is that I'm an off-duty police officer, and I'm going to issue you a summons. Your number plate, F432 MBW isn't it? Right, cheers mate, have a nice day."
At this point I started shaking. I was actually in shock, and shitting my pants. I kept getting flashes of me standing in the dock being shouted at wigged barristers and the shame I would bring on my family.
The lights changed green and I drove away at about 40 miles an hour for the rest of the way home.
I dreaded the post every morning after that for about 6 weeks. Then I thought to myself, "Hang on, that guy didn't provide any I.D., he didn't give me any documentation, and he didn't record the incident, he's off duty, if he is a copper at all, and he was driving a shitty Peugeot 106. He just said that to scare the shit out of me..."
What a fucking lengthy canting bustard.
(Fri 13th Oct 2006, 12:46, More)
» Debt pron
Biggest money fuck up? No contest.
My biggest fuck up was getting a credit card. At 18 (2001), I wanted to go to the Carling Reading Festival, but didn't have any money. So I came up with the genius plan to get a credit card, pay for the ticket, then cut it up.
I took it with me (fuck up), and bought more beer than anyone should be allowed to buy in one weekend. Worst of all, a lot of it ended up down random people's chins, coming out their noses and going down their shirts, all via a funnel contraption designed to split the drinking men from the drinking boys.
As it turns out, I'm a drinking boy.
The card was at it's limit inside a month.
It was only £500, which is a lot if you don't have £500, and the interest rate was enough to bankrupt Billy Gates. I only just paid it off at the beginning of last year after finally transferring it to a card with a half decent rate.
Length? 4 years.
(Fri 24th Nov 2006, 14:00, More)
Biggest money fuck up? No contest.
My biggest fuck up was getting a credit card. At 18 (2001), I wanted to go to the Carling Reading Festival, but didn't have any money. So I came up with the genius plan to get a credit card, pay for the ticket, then cut it up.
I took it with me (fuck up), and bought more beer than anyone should be allowed to buy in one weekend. Worst of all, a lot of it ended up down random people's chins, coming out their noses and going down their shirts, all via a funnel contraption designed to split the drinking men from the drinking boys.
As it turns out, I'm a drinking boy.
The card was at it's limit inside a month.
It was only £500, which is a lot if you don't have £500, and the interest rate was enough to bankrupt Billy Gates. I only just paid it off at the beginning of last year after finally transferring it to a card with a half decent rate.
Length? 4 years.
(Fri 24th Nov 2006, 14:00, More)
» Inappropriate crushes
Sorry to bandwagon.
I agree with all the Myrtle people. She's played by Shirley Henderson, and that's her real voice! Every time I hear her I get a stiffy.
Gawd bless 'er.
I fear this is turning into a unrequited love topic as opposed to an inappropriate crush topic, but Sabrina the Teenage Witch always got my wand working, too.
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 14:37, More)
Sorry to bandwagon.
I agree with all the Myrtle people. She's played by Shirley Henderson, and that's her real voice! Every time I hear her I get a stiffy.
Gawd bless 'er.
I fear this is turning into a unrequited love topic as opposed to an inappropriate crush topic, but Sabrina the Teenage Witch always got my wand working, too.
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 14:37, More)