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- a member for 17 years, 6 months and 27 days
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- has posted 1 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 3 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Crazy Relatives
Grampa
My grandad, for whatever reason, needed to climb a tree about 10 years ago to cut down a branch that was upsetting him. My gran told him that if he fell and hurt himself to not come complaining to her. After a few hours of not hearing any swearing she took a look out the window and saw him sat by the tree having fallen off and broken both his legs.
"You said don't call you if something happened..."
After recovering in hospital and back home to do his bricolage, he then managed to cut off bits of his fingers with a circular saw. He swears the dog ate them.
After recovering from that, back in his garage, he needed to open a little tub of super-glue. What with the newly mangled hand and what-not, he decided to use his mouth and efficiently glued his gob shut.
Ok, this time he couldn't "call" for help so OAP reasoning took over that he could deal with this with a wood file from the shed and shred his lips back open. Still alive and kicking though he probably doesn't remember any of it :(
(Thu 5th Jul 2007, 16:29, More)
Grampa
My grandad, for whatever reason, needed to climb a tree about 10 years ago to cut down a branch that was upsetting him. My gran told him that if he fell and hurt himself to not come complaining to her. After a few hours of not hearing any swearing she took a look out the window and saw him sat by the tree having fallen off and broken both his legs.
"You said don't call you if something happened..."
After recovering in hospital and back home to do his bricolage, he then managed to cut off bits of his fingers with a circular saw. He swears the dog ate them.
After recovering from that, back in his garage, he needed to open a little tub of super-glue. What with the newly mangled hand and what-not, he decided to use his mouth and efficiently glued his gob shut.
Ok, this time he couldn't "call" for help so OAP reasoning took over that he could deal with this with a wood file from the shed and shred his lips back open. Still alive and kicking though he probably doesn't remember any of it :(
(Thu 5th Jul 2007, 16:29, More)
» Ripped Off
Schrembot
One of the lightbulbs in the kitchen broke, so went to robert dyas to get a new one. £15 quid for one of them energy-efficient, tree-hugging friendly ones. The guy convinced me when he said:
"Oh and in daylight, it switches itself off automatically to save even more energy!"
That sold it... cos Mrs Schrembot always loves to leave the kitchen lights on. So when i got home that night, grabbed a chair, put the new bulb in, went to the switch, flicked it and behold, the kitchen was blessed in light!
For about 3 seconds.
There was "daylight" was coming from the original non-broken bulb which causes the new one to auto switch off.
(Mon 19th Feb 2007, 17:02, More)
Schrembot
One of the lightbulbs in the kitchen broke, so went to robert dyas to get a new one. £15 quid for one of them energy-efficient, tree-hugging friendly ones. The guy convinced me when he said:
"Oh and in daylight, it switches itself off automatically to save even more energy!"
That sold it... cos Mrs Schrembot always loves to leave the kitchen lights on. So when i got home that night, grabbed a chair, put the new bulb in, went to the switch, flicked it and behold, the kitchen was blessed in light!
For about 3 seconds.
There was "daylight" was coming from the original non-broken bulb which causes the new one to auto switch off.
(Mon 19th Feb 2007, 17:02, More)
» The Weird Kid In Class
Dave
We had a kid called Olugbade [insert another 20 odd names here] and then his surname (won't mention it). He's lie *all* the time. Even with his middle names. The teachers renamed him "Dave" on day one of the first year when they reached his name on the registration list.
He had really cold hands. We knew this cos when he got aggressive, he'd try to strangle people. He smelled of cheese and onion walkers even though he preferred ready salted and on occassion, wore no socks.
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 13:43, More)
Dave
We had a kid called Olugbade [insert another 20 odd names here] and then his surname (won't mention it). He's lie *all* the time. Even with his middle names. The teachers renamed him "Dave" on day one of the first year when they reached his name on the registration list.
He had really cold hands. We knew this cos when he got aggressive, he'd try to strangle people. He smelled of cheese and onion walkers even though he preferred ready salted and on occassion, wore no socks.
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 13:43, More)