» Creepy!

not me, my dad
back when i was a babe in arms my folks moved in to their first home. a decorating frenzy ensues and late one night my dad(19 at the time) and my dads brother(about 15/16) were scraping wallpaper only to find a door with no handle, just a keyhole. obviously my old man thought i've got another room/cupboard, lets get it open. grabbing a coathanger he sets about undoing the lock, with a loud snick he and my uncle proceed to pry it open. it came ajar with a massive ripping noise followed by a blood curdling scream. needless to say my dad and uncle shit themselves and nearly killed each other getting out of room.

turns out the entire row of terraced houses used to be dormitory for trainee priests and all the now seperate houses are now connected by doors and the pair of silly twats had ripped a door shaped hole in the neighbours wallpaper
(Fri 8th Apr 2011, 13:48, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

It's only a matter of time
The dirty secret of my trade is that every oil refinery, power station, chemical works and storage depot in the UK is on the verge of a major incident along the lines of the Buncefield depot explosion due to a combination of maintenance cutbacks and a reluctance to shutdown the plant and stop production. you might remember about 6 years ago a refinery on the banks of the Humber had an explosion due to a eroded pipe( it's on the BBC website, i would have posted a link but i'm clueless tbh) the thing is it happened on a bank holiday Monday, if it had happened 24 hours later, 1800 contractors (including yours truly) would have been on site for a main unit shutdown and overhaul, the majority 80 to 100 feet away from the blast. I managed to get a glimpse of the internal investigation report and the estimated fatalities would have been between 400 to 700 men.
I still work on there and there is a squad of inspectors who do thickness tests on pipes and i replace the bits that are fucked, honestly some of them are no thicker than a tin can. Since the shit in these pipes can ignite off something no more hazardous than a trucks warm brake pad it's no wonder i'm a complete pisshead. So pay attention at school kids or you will end up working on one of these shitholes. I have tons of stories that will make you wish the industrial revolution never happened so i will post more.(oh and if you think you're safe because you don't live anywhere near one of these places bear in mind that there are nearly 8500 miles of export lines carrying aviation fuel buried all over the UK. sleep tight y'all)
(Sun 30th Sep 2007, 9:51, More)

» Ripped Off

my car failed its m.o.t
so i bought a new fuel tank and asked my mechanic cousin to fit it. the job took 2 hours and i helped. he charged me 80 fucking quid. now it might be me but charging your own cousin 40 pound per hour when he had been out of work for two months and had fitted him a new bathroom suite for fucking pennies only a month before is classed as a rip off. it still boils my piss to think of this.
(Sat 17th Feb 2007, 7:13, More)

» My Greatest Regrets

i regret
not going to work for the last 3 days so i can entertain myself with everything on this site.

i don't regret spending the last 72 hours laughing my cock off, the money i threw away doing so or the weeping sores i got from not moving, i only regret that i've seen it all and now i'm fucking bored
(Wed 11th Oct 2006, 21:38, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

i was 17 and she was 44
she worked in the canteen at the training centre i was at and was the filthiest women i have ever known, and with me being the kinkiest fucker i know it was a match made in heaven. she fucked me with a strap on while choking me with a belt off a dressing gown and i loved it, never been able to get a lass to do it since mind. shame.
(Fri 5th Dec 2008, 18:48, More)