» Desperate Times

What happens when...
you wake up and realize that no one has done the shopping, you must eat breakfast and get to work? When all that is left in the cupboards is lager and cereal...

BEERIOS.
(Fri 16th Nov 2007, 18:15, More)

» Evil Pranks

Not the most evil, but very satisfying
At the last office I worked in, there was a paging system that could be accessed from any phone to make an announcement to the whole building. The "All Page" access code was 799.

Any time a new person would come in, we would do an "All Page" to the whole building saying, "New Person, please call 799. New person, 799."

Within seconds, we would inevitably hear the nervous, questioning reply of New Person echoing through the halls, "Hello? Hello? Uh... this is New Person? Hello?"

Got 'em every time.

_{Except for the girl co-worker who thought it was "mean" and would intercept our efforts. NOT COOL.}
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 22:43, More)

» Cringe!

Let my tale be one of caution
I received my first pair of boxer shorts and a robe as a Christmas gift at the exciting, pubescent age of 13. Very soon after unwrapping the presents, for some reason, I then decided it would be a great idea to try them on and model for my dad & sister. Moments later, cue me throwing open the robe flasher-style and realizing suddenly that boxers have a certain way of letting you catch the breeze rather directly.

If you ever get underwear and a robe as gifts, DO NOT SHOWCASE THEM FOR YOUR FAMILY because you will end up showing them your penis.
(Tue 2nd Dec 2008, 6:39, More)

» Gambling

I once ate a dollar
for 5 dollars
(Thu 7th May 2009, 20:10, More)

» Insults

penis wrinkle
Has always been a favorite of mine since I was but a child. It's so straight-forward and employs a well-defined, yet somehow unexpected visual. Vintage insult.
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 3:53, More)