» Babysitters

Long story short
When I was a kid, we had an exchange student from Sweden. After her stay with us, we ended up getting a string of Swedish au pairs stay with us from the time I was aged about 7-12. I will admit to this being excellent, for the most part. I remember trying to get one of them to read me my math homework just so I could hear the accent and spend some time with a pretty lady. She wouldn't do it, but she was our au pair, so we spent time with her anyway, of course.

In any case, fast forward to me being 19. The original exchange student now has kids of her own and asks if my sister or I would like to come and live with her family for a year. As my sister was studying at a "serious university" at the time, she couldn't go. I was just attending community college trying to figure out what the hell I even wanted to do, so the choice was pretty clear. Stay home and dick around or go to Sweden and LIVE LIFE.

I spent one year in the Gothenberg area, learned the language, took care of their kids & dog, learned to cook, had my first (and last) gin & tonic (that shit is nasty), traveled all over the country, visited the Ice Hotel, witnessed the aurora borealis, and got to kiss Swedish girls. That year is one of the best, most eye-opening years of my life and I would never, ever take it back.

It's also how I got my name. "Inte svensk" is Swedish for "not Swedish."
(Tue 2nd Nov 2010, 16:55, More)

» Desperate Times

What happens when...
you wake up and realize that no one has done the shopping, you must eat breakfast and get to work? When all that is left in the cupboards is lager and cereal...

BEERIOS.
(Fri 16th Nov 2007, 18:15, More)

» Evil Pranks

Not the most evil, but very satisfying
At the last office I worked in, there was a paging system that could be accessed from any phone to make an announcement to the whole building. The "All Page" access code was 799.

Any time a new person would come in, we would do an "All Page" to the whole building saying, "New Person, please call 799. New person, 799."

Within seconds, we would inevitably hear the nervous, questioning reply of New Person echoing through the halls, "Hello? Hello? Uh... this is New Person? Hello?"

Got 'em every time.

_{Except for the girl co-worker who thought it was "mean" and would intercept our efforts. NOT COOL.}
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 22:43, More)

» Cringe!

Let my tale be one of caution
I received my first pair of boxer shorts and a robe as a Christmas gift at the exciting, pubescent age of 13. Very soon after unwrapping the presents, for some reason, I then decided it would be a great idea to try them on and model for my dad & sister. Moments later, cue me throwing open the robe flasher-style and realizing suddenly that boxers have a certain way of letting you catch the breeze rather directly.

If you ever get underwear and a robe as gifts, DO NOT SHOWCASE THEM FOR YOUR FAMILY because you will end up showing them your penis.
(Tue 2nd Dec 2008, 6:39, More)

» Starting something you couldn't finish

I have started answering so many questions of the week
but then, I start to think that maybe it's HEY HOLY CRAP A SQUIRREL
(Sun 27th Jun 2010, 16:03, More)