b3ta.com user clayud
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» Pointless Experiments

Tickets please.
When i was 11 (some 13 years ago) i was enjoying a bank holiday weekend in blackpool with a friend and his parents. We'd managed to do and see everything in blackpool within the first 18 minutes of the weekend but managed to keep ourself fairly occupied for the entire weekend. Come monday afternoon we're on an open top bus approaching the stop we want to get off at.

Bus starts to slow down, pretty much everyone gets up, we were very near the back on the top deck. Now, i'm not one for waiting so i said to my mate (in ear shot of his parents), i bet i can jump over the side and land on my feet.

I did jump, i didn't land on my feet. 13 years, 6 operations, 4 methods of pins and bolts, alot of painkillers both prescribed and not, and hundreds of days of constant agony. Many more years of it to come.

Also, when i was younger (6 or 7) my mum informs me i used to chase lightning with a metal pole. I can't remember this but i'm assured it used to frighten the life out of her.
(Wed 30th Jul 2008, 21:54, More)

» Homemade Booze

Screenwash, and lemonade.
Ok, so i didn't MAKE it. I had screenwash, i had a car so it's only natural to have screenwash stored somewhere that isn't your car so you never have it when you need it.
I had lemonade. I didn't make this either. There isn't much making going off i must apologise for this.
So picture the scene, it's 2003, i'm a student, in a halls of residence, i'm in the particular halls in the city that has a bar on site. Me and my flat mates had been consuming alcohol for quite some time but the bar had closed and it was time to go back to our flat. more beer consumed and then things took a turn. it turns out that concentrated (not that shit thats watered down that you put straight in your car) screen wash, with lemonade that's really quite cold. half and half in a tall glass (umbrella optional) is pretty much the nicest drink you can comprehend drinking. I would recommend it to anyone who has at least 3 days with nothing to do and wouldn't be overly pissed off if they died. Never never in my life have i felt so violently sick. Never before in my life have i BEEN so violently sick. By day 3 i had started composing a note, i knew i wasn't going to make it. I knew that the blood i was throwing up wasn't getting better and that it was only a matter of time before the inevitable death. However, later that day i started to improve and by day 4 i was considering leaving my room. Despite the clear stupidity, i still to this very day believe this to be the nicest tasting drink that one can imagine.
(Sat 13th Dec 2014, 21:16, More)

» More Terrible Hotels

When working away
with a well known Welsh band boasting 2 channels instead of 1 we would regularly go to hotel rooms in mainland Europe and wonder if there was some kind of mistake. I have seen abandoned properties all over the world, and quite frankly many of these were in better condition. I remember one hotel in...... I want to say the Czech Republic....... that had simply curtains instead of doors, a cable running through the door (under the curtain) with a taped up electrical socket on it. Into this you could plug the light, OR the tv that didn't work, or something else if you dared. There was a single tap over the bath in which water that was slightly warmer than you'd expect to find from a cold tap came out. the bath itself was clearly old enough to have hit puberty, as it seemed to have more hair in it than me. The bed (singular) was merely a wooden board on the floor with a mattress ontop. now i come to think about it, i believe if we had flipped it over the wooden board would have provided better comfort. the singular elongated pillow ensured optimum discomfort. And the curtains. imagine our surprise in the morning when we thought it was still dark, opened them to find that actually it wasn't a window anymore, just a board. if this was the best they could do for a multi million record selling band then i hate to think what the rest of the people managed. Maybe they had to share a power socket.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2014, 21:31, More)

» Failed

My Greatest Regret
is the failure of getting my QOTW post in on time.
(Sun 7th Jan 2007, 16:21, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

both ways in many respects,
looking as i do i've found it much easier to take what i can get. A few years ago when i was about 18 or 19 i drunkenly ended up giving a 48 year old a good seeing to. There's something to be said about the older woman. Last year i ended up with a 17 year old guy on several occasions....and both him and his friend (female) on another occasion. (7 years younger than me). Various other bits of excitement throughout the years but i'm now happily with my relatively new girlfriend who's a mere 3 years younger than me, though we've managed to include a few other people in our activities (not excluding said 17 year old)
(Sun 7th Dec 2008, 19:51, More)
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