» Advice from Old People

A wise old man once told me
that advice was spelt with a 'c' not an 's'

perhaps a lesson for us all
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 23:01, More)

» Strict Parents

my parents...
...dont like me visiting b3ta in case i lose my sense of wit after reading too many apeloverage posts
(Wed 14th Mar 2007, 1:03, More)

» Pathological Liars

guy i went to school with
since we were about 14 he's always claimed that he's a scriptwriter. he always has a pile of notebooks with him that none of us can see, because steven spielberg (whom he lunches with) asked he keeps his work quiet.

notable incidents include him telling us he had a copy of mission impossible 4 on dvd, just before mi2 came out, and when nobody had dvd players. and apparently he's working on the script for xmen 7 now. he's 20 now, and none of us actually know what he does.

while we've learnt to ignore just about everything he says, it's surprising how many people believe him when they meet him
(Sat 1st Dec 2007, 12:35, More)

» Picky Eaters

cauliflower
ugh

am i the only one who thinks it tastes like fart?

(not that i have tasted farts-im just going by smell. its all olfactory i figure)
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 2:21, More)

» Picky Eaters

mints/mince?
when i was but a wee lad, i must have seemed like a right fussy bugger to one mates grandmother (she had that look of death in her eyes-like a raven does *shudder*)

im from a family of strict veggies, so i never had much experience of meat, and decided i didnt like it, like most kids do with what they find unusual. i still dont like the stuff, but have no moral objections to meat

anywaaay, whnever id go to a friends house, id mention that i was a 'vegetarian' just to play it safe, and ensure no meat was given. vegetarianism was (and still is) a bizarre concept to a lot of folk, so id end up with fish and stuff, and have to feign stomach ache.

anyway, psycho grannie tells me weve got mince for tea tonight. which i hear as mints (hey, meat never came into my house, how was i to know). odd i think, but ok, i can deal with it

so a few hours pass, and im presented with a platter of mashed up animal, with some vegetables boiled to the point of no flavour. i wish id just kept my mouth shut, and forced myself through it though, as psycho granny was against vegetarians, and made me 'eat around the meat' (which isnt really possible with mince now is it) and proceeded to mutter 'wasteful bugger' not-so under her breath while using her evil eyes against me from her rocking chair while me and friend played mario kart, trying to take my mind off what became quite agonising hunger

many apologies for length, but youve heard it all before
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 2:00, More)