» Call Centres

Utility companies
My mum recently moved house and struggled to get the electricity connected.
She'd called the utility company prior to the move and organised for it to be switched on a couple of days before she planned to move in - the switch box was located on the front verandah, so there'd be no issues with accessibility while she wasn't there.

Moving day, and she arrives to find that the electricity hadn't been connected. She calls the utility company again, gets a bit of a run around as to why it hadn't been connected already, and a promise that an electrician will be out between 6pm and midnight that night to connect it.

Midnight comes and with it a remarkable lack of electricians.

The next morning, she makes another call to the utility company to find out what the hell's going on. Eventually through to a real person, she tells them that the electrician didn't turn up the night before to switch on the power, and asks if they can tell her quickly when he will be out, as after a couple of calls and a lot of time on hold with the utility company, her mobile battery is almost dead.
"You should have charged your phone before you called."
The phone monkey places her on hold briefly to call the electrician to see why they didn't turn up the previous night and when he'll be able to come out.
"He did go out there last night, but the lights were off, so he assumed nobody was home".
(Sun 6th Sep 2009, 4:46, More)

» Stalked

I lack both the attention span and slack grasp on sanity to properly stalk anyone.
But I have been known to briefly tail unusual people I happen upon, more to sate my curiosity than anything.
Most recently I followed a guy who got off the train same stop as me. Why? I had to discover exactly what wondrous adventures someone who was wearing a chainmail tunic got up to on a Saturday morning in the city.
Disappointingly, it turns out that chainmail is not only the perfect outfit for dragon-slaying, but also for shopping with your girlfriend.
(Fri 1st Feb 2008, 10:50, More)

» God

This is the only Faith that is welcome at my house

(Fri 20th Mar 2009, 22:59, More)

» Crazy Relatives

Sheep shagging? If only.
My aunty's generally more daft than anything, but every now and then, she will come out with something that makes you think she'll soon be joining her mother on that long stroll down Dementia Drive.
A year or so ago she went on one of those short package tours to New Zealand, and on her return we were sitting through the endless slide show with running commentary, when she came out with the following line, "They don't actually walk differently in New Zealand. I had expected that you'd walk differently there."
Thinking that she was about to make a joke, albeit rather out of character, about Kiwis and their propensity for sheep shagging, she was asked to elaborate.
She got up to demonstrate what she meant.
This was not to be a sheep shagging joke after all.
My aunty attempted an imitation of the walk most famously seen done by astronauts on the moon. Yes, she seriously believed that that there was less gravity in New Zealand, and could not understand why everyone else was laughing at her.
(Tue 10th Jul 2007, 11:46, More)

» Crazy Relatives

I wouldn't say that my Dad's crazy, as such.
But he certainly does have some unusual ideas. Including thinking up some rather interesting money-making schemes.

My favourite of which is his plan to set up a business shearing penguins. He hasn't put too much effort into the planning stage yet, beyond recognising that it would be smarter to go for a larger breed of penguin, rather than the small fairy penguins he can find locally. The logic behind the penguin shearing is that penguins can clearly keep themselves warm in very cold climates, and that therefore their fur will make for effective fillings for doonas/duvets.


Also quite good is his desire to start his own cult, knowing that all you need to do this is be charismatic and have something new and different, worshiping-wise, to offer the masses. The object of worship has undergone a few changes, but his most recent idea is "the gap". Yes, the small space that exists between a train and the platform. And I have to say, he does have the knack to make it seem like worshiping the gap is a sensible idea. I wouldn't be surprised to hear in years to come of crazy cultists literally throwing themselves at the mercy of the gap.
(Sat 7th Jul 2007, 9:08, More)