Profile for harestylenumber1:
we need an engineer!
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- a member for 17 years, 4 months and 8 days
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- has posted 17 stories and 5 replies on question of the week
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we need an engineer!
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» Accidental animal cruelty
friend of a friends story (with anal sex thrown in)
this friend of a friend (my friend was technicaly leigh linley, dunno the "of a friend" as it were) decided he would quite like to do his bird up the shitter. she agreed, so he did. on the living room sofa.
there followed an unfortunate accident involving said shitter when the young lady became "too relaxed".
endearing mental image isnt it.
anyway, friend of a friend tries to clean this up before his parents, who had been away for some reason, came back.
he managed to get rid of the stain, but not the smell.
His parents come back, take one breath of the putrid air and are aghast.
What has happened here? they ask, fingers firmly clenched around their noses.
friend of a friend panics, and tells them the dog had had the runs all over the sofa one evening.
He comes in the next day from work/school/wherever to a dogless house.
His parents had had the poor hound put down due to having a low anal shutter speed to paraphrase family guy.
classic accidental animal cruelty
(Tue 11th Dec 2007, 23:46, More)
friend of a friends story (with anal sex thrown in)
this friend of a friend (my friend was technicaly leigh linley, dunno the "of a friend" as it were) decided he would quite like to do his bird up the shitter. she agreed, so he did. on the living room sofa.
there followed an unfortunate accident involving said shitter when the young lady became "too relaxed".
endearing mental image isnt it.
anyway, friend of a friend tries to clean this up before his parents, who had been away for some reason, came back.
he managed to get rid of the stain, but not the smell.
His parents come back, take one breath of the putrid air and are aghast.
What has happened here? they ask, fingers firmly clenched around their noses.
friend of a friend panics, and tells them the dog had had the runs all over the sofa one evening.
He comes in the next day from work/school/wherever to a dogless house.
His parents had had the poor hound put down due to having a low anal shutter speed to paraphrase family guy.
classic accidental animal cruelty
(Tue 11th Dec 2007, 23:46, More)
» This book changed my life
genius
the schroedingers cat trilogy
robert anton wilson
then the illuminatus! trilogy by the same fella
mindbendingly ace, both of em
rest in piece, bob
(Thu 15th May 2008, 21:04, More)
genius
the schroedingers cat trilogy
robert anton wilson
then the illuminatus! trilogy by the same fella
mindbendingly ace, both of em
rest in piece, bob
(Thu 15th May 2008, 21:04, More)
» Hotel Splendido
i dont think
ive ever stayed in a bad hotel
lucky, eh?
(Thu 17th Jan 2008, 20:43, More)
i dont think
ive ever stayed in a bad hotel
lucky, eh?
(Thu 17th Jan 2008, 20:43, More)
» Dumb things you've done
bloody hell where do i start?
cracked my head open a good six times (scars still visible) including but not limited to:
head first through a glass door, flag pulley bit falling on the back of my head, being hit with a toy car, wobbling about in a plastic clothes basket and twatting myself on the sharp edge of a cupboard and last but not least whilst working (slacking) at the enigma zone (now defunct lazer quest but BETTER) in lincoln I was playing a game of said sport and hurled myself down a flight of stairs to catch pete (stumpy, for those who are interested. well, you had to give yourself a game name... i was pyro, woo) and caught my head on a previously unseen beam, cracked it open and rolled down stairs. was still first when i got there, mind. oh thats only five
got myself fired twice once for being a pot dealer allegedly ((i wasn't)), the other for being a drunken lunatic (((which i was))).
erm, shouting at my new boss, when her bloke waas there (he runs the company, quite literally)
cant be arsed with this any more, off to put the cat out
(Fri 28th Dec 2007, 23:09, More)
bloody hell where do i start?
cracked my head open a good six times (scars still visible) including but not limited to:
head first through a glass door, flag pulley bit falling on the back of my head, being hit with a toy car, wobbling about in a plastic clothes basket and twatting myself on the sharp edge of a cupboard and last but not least whilst working (slacking) at the enigma zone (now defunct lazer quest but BETTER) in lincoln I was playing a game of said sport and hurled myself down a flight of stairs to catch pete (stumpy, for those who are interested. well, you had to give yourself a game name... i was pyro, woo) and caught my head on a previously unseen beam, cracked it open and rolled down stairs. was still first when i got there, mind. oh thats only five
got myself fired twice once for being a pot dealer allegedly ((i wasn't)), the other for being a drunken lunatic (((which i was))).
erm, shouting at my new boss, when her bloke waas there (he runs the company, quite literally)
cant be arsed with this any more, off to put the cat out
(Fri 28th Dec 2007, 23:09, More)
» Political Correctness Gone Mad
dignity at work
hot desking may or may not be a policy you have heard of. i cant be arsed to explain, but you all have google so off you pop if you don't.
i have. And this story involves a greek.
A greek called george. well, crazy george to be accurate. He was often called this behind his back. and to his face as well.
We were having a prolonged period of hotdesking at work due to a lack of space in the office, and as everyone knows in this situation, whoever shows up earliest gets the pick of the seating on that day.
I was fractionally too late to bag my usual spot and had to look elsewhere. So i chose to sit where crazy george had popped himself the day before. This was my first error.
The second error was suggesting to the mad greek that if he would like his desk back he should physically move me. By this i actually meant he should wheel me down the bank of desks to the next one, which was free, but didnt have a mouse.
He took it as some sort of threat of violence and ran off to complain to the boss. bah.
Third mistake was thinking nothing else of it. i got pulled up by the centre manager a few days later. i thought i was geetting a promotion but when she told me that it was about the loony greek i actually blubbed. true story that.
the moral of the story? there isnt one. life is just a sequence of random events.
The other time this pc crap became relevant was when we made out that Bob Taylor had a smack habit. This went on for a number of months. Until we all got pulled in for a meeting about it. Then we switched to making out that he liked the rasmus. which he secretly does.
carry on then
(Thu 22nd Nov 2007, 15:09, More)
dignity at work
hot desking may or may not be a policy you have heard of. i cant be arsed to explain, but you all have google so off you pop if you don't.
i have. And this story involves a greek.
A greek called george. well, crazy george to be accurate. He was often called this behind his back. and to his face as well.
We were having a prolonged period of hotdesking at work due to a lack of space in the office, and as everyone knows in this situation, whoever shows up earliest gets the pick of the seating on that day.
I was fractionally too late to bag my usual spot and had to look elsewhere. So i chose to sit where crazy george had popped himself the day before. This was my first error.
The second error was suggesting to the mad greek that if he would like his desk back he should physically move me. By this i actually meant he should wheel me down the bank of desks to the next one, which was free, but didnt have a mouse.
He took it as some sort of threat of violence and ran off to complain to the boss. bah.
Third mistake was thinking nothing else of it. i got pulled up by the centre manager a few days later. i thought i was geetting a promotion but when she told me that it was about the loony greek i actually blubbed. true story that.
the moral of the story? there isnt one. life is just a sequence of random events.
The other time this pc crap became relevant was when we made out that Bob Taylor had a smack habit. This went on for a number of months. Until we all got pulled in for a meeting about it. Then we switched to making out that he liked the rasmus. which he secretly does.
carry on then
(Thu 22nd Nov 2007, 15:09, More)