» Buses

Self Raising Bus Driver
Most of the buses in my area now have a plastic shield protecting the driver from abuse, but there are still a couple that lack such luxuries. The importance of this feature was made apparent one day when I boarded the bus into town and was greeted with the sight of a driver who appeared to have been caught in an explosion at the Homepride factory.

As I attempted to hold back the laughter he informed us that some kids had flagged him down at a stop, waited for the doors to open then launched a bag of flour at his head and legged it down an alley.

I felt sorry for the guy, but being confronted by this glum driver covered head to foot in flour, his sad eyes staring balefully from a mask of white powder, was pretty funny, and watching the reaction of passengers as they got on definitely brightened up the journey. Have to give the kids some credit for their plan.
(Thu 2nd Jul 2009, 10:38, More)

» Stuff I've found

I found flares
Not the trousers, but the bright, burning projectiles traditionally used to signal distress at sea and attract the attention of heat-seeking missiles.

I was walking to school and they were lying by the side of the road. It was a row of five tubes in a plastic casing, with a sliding trigger on the side. Olive green, so presumably it was military.

I did what any sensible schoolboy would - stashed them for later. We took it down the park after school and gave the responsibility of firing them to the most irresponsible child, then stood well back.

Nothing happened.

It was a disappointing end to an exciting day. The appointed gunner took them home, promising to remove the flares from their casing with his dad's tools. He wasn't missing any body parts the following morning and gave various excuses for the whereabouts of my impotent flares. Despite his earlier bravado we assumed he got nervous and threw it away.

I just hope he discarded it in the road for someone else to discover.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 17:13, More)