» That's me on TV!

Wheelies
Back in about 1996 before I had my knee destroyed I worked for Securicor Pony Express, the courier company that supplied all the riders with Black and Blue bike gear and white bikes. I was contracted to a major UK bank working clearing and everyday I did 5 runs around various bank branches picking up work.
As you can imagine the work was boring. Same thing everyday really did our heads in so to make things a bit more fun we would do some pretty illegal things in the traffic. The usual no hands, eyes closed, skids, wheelies, pretty much anything to pass the time.

Now that summer the Police were having a crackdown on cyclists jumping traffic lights. They claimed the worst junction in the UK for this was the junction of Earls Court road and High Street Kensington to the south of Holland park. So one morning they had a big operation there with 20 or 30 foot officers and invited ITN news down for publicity. Now I didn't really notice them, I was generally more than half asleep or hung over in the mornings and so just drove as usual, it was only the next morning when I got a call from the Boss that I found out what I had done. I had been sitting at the lights and pulled away straight up onto the rear keeping the front in the air passing behind the Senior Officer being questioned who didn't notice nor did the camera man as he didn't pan to follow me. Unluckily I was the only rider with long auburn air so even though the plate wasn't visible and I didn't get fired I still got a bollocking but even the Boss admitted it looked good.
(Sun 14th Jun 2009, 0:13, More)

» The Credit Crunch

It goes both ways.
My work has been affected by the financial situation in both directions.

First the courier side has died off a fair amount, I can't see days where I make £300+ a day happening in the near future. Especially after the death of a certain American Bank who often paid big money for late work but I did get paid a hell of a lot to deliver redundancy notices for another big bank on the dogs. Companies at the moment can no longer afford to pay me to take a jar of caviar to Cornwall late on a Friday night for a wedding reception first thing Saturday morning but I am still getting by.

On the other hand I started a Motorcycle parts company on Ebay (www.mc-sp.co.uk) about 9 months ago and I'm now having my busiest month. So far this month I have made over 200 sales and every month the number seems to be rising, I just hope it carries on. If it does after the financial fear has passed I might just have a valid company and an income I can live on. Wish me luck.

Keep in mind I've had most of the last 2 years off of work due to knee problems, it is starting to look up for me but it will be hard work in the present climate.
(Sun 25th Jan 2009, 22:16, More)

» Blood

Blood on a bike
Just before christmas 2006 I broke my nose for a second time. I generally work as a Motorcycle courier when I can be bothered to get out of bed of a morning and I was doing this that fate full day.

I was riding a 400BROS for work at the time with a huge screen on the front for weather protection.

Driving down Commercial road towards the Aldgate I turned into Backchurch lane which always seems to have cars parked on either side reduces the available space to drive down to one lane. There was a big silver Mercedes in front of me which had stopped as a Transit van was coming towards us and as I slowed down behind it I pulled out my XDA to have a quick look at it. As I looked there was a fucking huge bang and it felt like I'd been kicked in the head, blood sprayed every where. Over my face my bike the Merc absolutely every where. I got off the bike not being able to see due to the blood in my eyes and had to take off my Arai that was also covered with blood, wiped my face to discover that somehow I'd hit the Merc which was all a bit confusing as it had been about 20 foot in front of me.

The woman driving the Merc jumped out to see what had happened and turned a bit green at the sight of me, 6 foot long red headed bearded biker built like a brick shit house covered with still flowing blood spitting huge amounts of it every where whenever I said anything. She asked if I needed an Ambulance, when I said no she did a runner even with the back of her car smashed in.

I worked out what had happened after a while. To avoid being hit by the transit van the woman had reversed without looking and hit me, the screen on my bike had gone under my visor and hit the bottom of my nose smashing the cartilage. Serious pain and I still have trouble breathing out of my left nostril.

Sold the bike 6 months later still covered in my blood, seemed wrong to wash it off somehow.
(Wed 13th Aug 2008, 2:23, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

FInance and NEVER trust the courier
So going back twelve years and at my second courier company, a well known security type one that worked for all the major UK banks and the amount of fuck ups we did were unreal.

1. Malcolm for that was his name, a transit van driver does a run up to Northampton with a load of bonds and clearing on board, unloads and drives back. Next morning the bank are on the phone asking if he unloaded everything 'of course he says'. Next day the bank phone up again and ask the office to start processing a claim for a lost £21,000,000.00 so Malcolm is pulled into the office to fill in paper work and again asked if he's sure he unloaded everything 'of course' he says again. Next morning he coming into the office with a 2 foot by 2 foot by 4 foot bag filled with £21,000,000.00 in bonds and claims it was behind the wheel well. £2,000,000.00 in fines.

2. Jay went home over the Christmas break with a days work/clearing on board from one bank branch.

3. I went home twice over night with a banks days work/clearing on board.

4. I wrote off £28,000 in new Honda NTV's in my first year at the Company.

These are just the things I can sort of admit to.
(Tue 30th Oct 2007, 1:24, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Motorcycle trade
I work in and around the Motorcycle trades, mechanic and parts dealer. The truth is people can't ride their bikes to anywhere near the bikes limit yet we still sell them loud exhausts which they think will make them faster and race tyres which they think will make them handle better and be more attractive to the opposite sex. Fact is the profits are large on these items and the tyres wear out quicker so they come back and give us more money more often.

Still ugly twunts as well.
(Mon 1st Oct 2007, 0:47, More)