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Long time lurker, but only very recent image poster - I'm new at this so welcome any feedback from experienced b3tans at how to improve! (I'm using teh GIMP.)

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Won't? Or will?
1980s: British steel, telecoms, water, electricity, gas etc.
2017: Anyone fancy a bite of the NHS? Ah go on.


(Sat 6th May 2017, 11:26, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Kids

Encouragement
My 20-month old daughter is very cute.

She learns from our behaviour - and we of course encourage her all the time.

This means that now every morning when I put my first sock on I hear a little voice pipe up "Well done, Daddy", and then after the second goes on "Clever Daddy".

Oddly I do feel quite pleased with myself as a result.
(Tue 22nd Apr 2008, 23:54, More)

» Nativity Plays

I really hope this is true.
My sister is a teacher (and delights in winding me up, hence the disclaimer). She does however claim the following is, if you'll pardon the pun, gospel.

At her school they were doing the nativity play on two successive nights.

To make this fairer Child A (who had the plum role of Joseph the first night) was due to be demoted to Innkeeeper the second night to give another kid a shot at being God's cuckold.

The only problem is that Child A loves the crowd adulation for his triumph at Joseph the first night, and REALLY doesn't want to let Child B take the role the next night. It doesn't quite come to fisticuffs but there is much tug-of-war with outfits, teacher intervention and sulking.

Order is eventually restored. Child B, proudly betowelled as Joseph, makes a good start. Until he gets to the inn and asks if there is any room.

"Yes!" beams Child A.

"Mary, you can come in. Joseph - you can fuck off."
(Mon 30th Mar 2009, 2:18, More)

» Good Advice

Never wish your time away.
The father of a friend of mine loves tinkering with old radios.

He once showed me the workbook of a wartime RAF radio operator who'd used it during training - he was obviously bored by it all, it was full of little ways of counting down the remaining time of each class - he was always desperate for the lectures to be over.

My friend's father looked this guy up; very shortly after those classes his bomber was shot down and he was killed. He was only 22.

What he said to me then I'll say to you now - never wish your time away. Enjoy each moment as if it was your last.
(Fri 21st May 2010, 15:17, More)

» Expensive Weekends

Last weekend...
...not my most expensive weekend ever, but a fair bit of wedge to wish a couple well.

Their wedding was in central London, so that meant train fares (I live quite a long way away) plus central hotel, plus gift (cash as requested - no wedding list) - it all adds up a bit.

Well worth it though as they're a nice couple - and I took the opportunity to remind the bride (while buying her a drink at the bar) that the first time I'd seen them together I'd been so certain they were right for each other I'd bet them a tenner they'd be engaged within 6 months.

"But it took us longer than that to get engaged - so you owe us a tenner!" she said.

This was technically true. So to add insult to injury ten pounds comes out of my rapidly emptying wallet to be tucked inside the bridal bra.

Ho hum. I'll keep my big mouth shut next time!
(Fri 14th May 2010, 0:31, More)