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- a member for 2 years, 7 months and 9 days
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» Crazy Relatives
Slightly eccentric rather than barking mad
One of my aunts talks to wheelie bins.
Another aunt.....
- shaves off her eyebrows and pencils them in....badly;
- bought me cologne for Christmas (I'm female). It was that '50p at the market' stuff too. My cousin got a better present of an umbrella. Shame he's permenantly on crutches.
- has grown her fringe and has it piled up on top of her head so she looks like Mr Whippy.
- is still convinced 70s wide collars are in fashion and wears black tights with white sandals.
- her jaw starts moving a good 5 seconds before her voice decides to kick in, like a badly dubbed kung fu film.
But the nuttiest relative has got to be my late grandad. Examples include.....
- playing hide and seek with me and my cousins wearing a balaclava and dark sunglasses (I have photographic proof of this).
- throwing a stepladder out of an upstairs window because he couldn't be arsed to carry them downstairs. Broke the steps and most of my nan's flowers.
- going swimming in the sea on a family outing, wearing white pants because he didn't have his swimmers. They went seethrough.
- walloping my dad over the head with a wooden mallett for a laugh. Something to do with keeping his troops in line when he was in the army in WWII.
- insisting that Taboo was a new kind of squash and gave it to me and my cousins (I was about 7 or 8 at the time).
I miss the mad old git.
(Thu 5th Jul 2007, 20:12, More)
Slightly eccentric rather than barking mad
One of my aunts talks to wheelie bins.
Another aunt.....
- shaves off her eyebrows and pencils them in....badly;
- bought me cologne for Christmas (I'm female). It was that '50p at the market' stuff too. My cousin got a better present of an umbrella. Shame he's permenantly on crutches.
- has grown her fringe and has it piled up on top of her head so she looks like Mr Whippy.
- is still convinced 70s wide collars are in fashion and wears black tights with white sandals.
- her jaw starts moving a good 5 seconds before her voice decides to kick in, like a badly dubbed kung fu film.
But the nuttiest relative has got to be my late grandad. Examples include.....
- playing hide and seek with me and my cousins wearing a balaclava and dark sunglasses (I have photographic proof of this).
- throwing a stepladder out of an upstairs window because he couldn't be arsed to carry them downstairs. Broke the steps and most of my nan's flowers.
- going swimming in the sea on a family outing, wearing white pants because he didn't have his swimmers. They went seethrough.
- walloping my dad over the head with a wooden mallett for a laugh. Something to do with keeping his troops in line when he was in the army in WWII.
- insisting that Taboo was a new kind of squash and gave it to me and my cousins (I was about 7 or 8 at the time).
I miss the mad old git.
(Thu 5th Jul 2007, 20:12, More)
» Cougars and Sugar Daddies
Kinda relevant....
My grandparents had a 13 year age gap. Not bad considering it was the 1940s.
The only everso slightly odd thing about it was that 10 days before the wedding my nan turned 17....and 10 days after the wedding my grandad turned 30. Five months after the wedding my uncle was born (shotgun, anyone?)
The marriage lasted 60 years so the age difference couldn't have bothered them that much.
(Tue 9th Dec 2008, 18:34, More)
Kinda relevant....
My grandparents had a 13 year age gap. Not bad considering it was the 1940s.
The only everso slightly odd thing about it was that 10 days before the wedding my nan turned 17....and 10 days after the wedding my grandad turned 30. Five months after the wedding my uncle was born (shotgun, anyone?)
The marriage lasted 60 years so the age difference couldn't have bothered them that much.
(Tue 9th Dec 2008, 18:34, More)
» Your first cigarette
Never have.....for 3 reasons
1. It gives you a cats arse mouth (i.e. the lines around the mouth as seen on 40/50 yr old female smokers); and
2. If you're unlucky enough to get mouth cancer, to remove it quite often they have to split your jaw like something out of Blade 2.
3. So I don't end up looking like my aunt who is in her 50s and looks at least 80, thanks to 40 years of chainsmoking.
(Wed 19th Mar 2008, 21:40, More)
Never have.....for 3 reasons
1. It gives you a cats arse mouth (i.e. the lines around the mouth as seen on 40/50 yr old female smokers); and
2. If you're unlucky enough to get mouth cancer, to remove it quite often they have to split your jaw like something out of Blade 2.
3. So I don't end up looking like my aunt who is in her 50s and looks at least 80, thanks to 40 years of chainsmoking.
(Wed 19th Mar 2008, 21:40, More)