» Eccentrics

Was it him or was it me?
I'm still not quite sure who was the nuttier person in this situation, you decide.

Wiggly lines to simulate going back in time.

It was a Summer evening and I was traveling in a train, having just completed my 3rd year exams in University. You know what it's like when you've just gone through months of exams, your head is a bit wrecked. So there I was sitting at a table on a train with 4 other people. There was a teenage girl opposite me, next to her was "the nutter," and next to me was an older woman. The nutter starts to talk to the girl, wants to show her what he bought in the shops that day and starts to offer her chocolate. I have to say, that I felt for her. She was being very polite to the nutter as he rambled on, and all I could think was "thank God it's not me sitting next to him."

The evening sun was shining in through the train window, so I took out my sunglasses and put them on to stop the glare. Eventually, as the journey went on the other two women got off the train, so all that was left was me and the nutter. Well, as I was wearing sunglasses, I felt that I was quite safe to have a really good stare at the nutter without being detected. And in turn, he stared at me.

Time passed and it was nearing my stop, so I got myself together to exit the train. I pulled out my sunglasses case to put my sunglasses away and as I opened the case, there sitting in the case was one of the lenses.

Yes, I had been sitting there staring at a nutter with only one lens in my sunglasses.

To this day, I don't know why my brain didn't register that I only had one lens in. All I can think, is that I was tired, and that the sun was only hitting the eye with the lens in. I have to wonder though, is there a nutter out there telling the same story...only I'm the nutter.
(Thu 30th Oct 2008, 19:51, More)

» Family codes and rituals

BHS
Like most of you here, as young'uns, my sister and I were dragged off to town every Saturday for the weekly family shopping outing. Mostly, we hated it. The highlight though, was when Dad used to try on woman's hats in BHS. My mum was always mortified, but we thought it was great.
(Tue 25th Nov 2008, 20:43, More)

» Pubs

Back from the dead.
Back in the day, when I lived in Dublin, my work mates and I used to spend most lunchtimes in our local pub. This pub was staggering distance from work, served great toasted specials, had nice bar staff, and was frequented by a lot of old locals. One particular lunchtime a group of us were huddled in a corner snug when we saw an old woman rushed up to the bar and shout at the barman, "he's dead, get an ambulance!" The old dear was referring to her husband, who had been sitting next to her having a pint, when he apparently shuffled off his mortal coil. Panic was about to set in when the old guy looked up and said, "I'm not dead!" His wife looked really pissed off at him and we spent the rest of the lunchtime giggling like school kids in the corner. What really made it funny, was that the old dear appeared more cross than relieved
(Fri 6th Feb 2009, 19:30, More)

» Tightwads

My father-in-law
First post, so be kind. My father-in-law is a kindly, 92 year old who, to be fair, does buy nice presents for birthdays, Christmas and other special occasions. But when it comes to the accompanying card, that's a different matter. Because we buy him a bumper box of Christmas cards, for him to send to all his friend and relatives, he tends to use them all year round. So for my birthday this year, I got a Christmas card with the word Christmas crossed out and the word Birthday written in pen over the top of it. He also tends to scribble out Santa's hat and beard. May be it's not "mean," just creative!
(Thu 30th Oct 2008, 14:40, More)

» The Boss

Feet.
Many moons ago I was a nurse. I then changed careers and went to work in advertising. At one particular advertising agency I worked for they sent us two South African Creative Directors to "whip us into shape." Both of them were pretty odious, full of themselves, and not very good creatively, but one of them was a misogynistic pain in the rear. This story relates to him, let's call him "Mark," for want of a better name. Mark marches into my office one day and says, "Woofie, you used to be a nurse didn't you?" To which I replied, "yes." "Well, will you pare my corns for me? My feet are clean and I have a blade with me." My mouth nearly hit the floor. I was a writer and this "ass" was asking me to pare his corns. I also hate feet! Luckily, the office manager heard the conversation and intervened, making him an appointment with a local chiropodist. I think this has to be the strangest request I've ever had from a boss, and since advertising is a pretty strange business, that's saying something.
(Tue 23rd Jun 2009, 17:15, More)