» I don't understand the attraction

50 cent. Tupac. all the other fucks riding IceT
"I used to push drugs". Awesome. you fuck.

"Look how many whores i have! I'm king of the pimps" Dude. they are whores. i am not particularly impressed by your infested drug-addled whores smearing themselves all over you for money. If they ARE actually working for you then thats worse. you fuck.

"I got all this money!" well done. you have earned money by pretending to be edgey and by selling your soul to produce yet another tune about how rich you are and which overpriced nice things you own over yet another slight variation of another tune by a real artist you ripped off and put your over produced version of a donk on to teenies and the educationally and culturally subnormal. you fuck.

"I got all this gold" yes. it goes very well with your tracksuit. you fuck.

"i got shot x times!" i have never got shot. its not my ambition to be shot. many many people have not been shot even once. it is not something that i am impressed by. you are bascially saying "i was such a crap criminal that my own people shot me. more than once. i'm that rubbish" you fuck.

you got where you are and stay there, by WORKING HARD. Just once tell your fanboys that. Tell them that, in actual fact, you dont get stoned and drunk all day, you dont rob anything not nailed down, you don't hang around bus shelters. Tell them you worked hard, you focused on your goal and that the last fucking thing you ever want to do again is be a fucking street thug. It is not an effective career progression to smoke weed and rob pushbikes in a rundown council estate if you intend to live in LA with the hollywood gliteratti. You fuck.

edit: i should say i dont understand how folk dont see through this act. i dont understand the attraction of someone who is basically saying "i am luckier, richer, better than you you horrible worthless scum" in song after song after song. and they lap it up! ffs

dont even get me onto middle class media students who 'dont really watch films' ffs
(Fri 16th Oct 2009, 19:25, More)

» IT Support

I'm kind of an IT bod
with very little skill or any kind of quals. manly because the folk around me know i like future tech and scifi and look a bit like someone who might be a techhead. I have actually worked in 'Information technology' rather than 'i know about computers' and i still think IT is a stupid name for what most IT depts do. Anyway!..

i have dealt with enough utter bastards who's only worth to society (and they know it) is their ability to know the insides of a computer. I have also worked with supportive, witty, sociable folk who LOVE to pass on their skills and enthusiasm for tech to those who struggle with it.

I have dealt with tutors who are meant to be teaching 17 year olds (a generationwho have grown up with the intermanet and digital technology) and see computers as somethign that gets in the way of 'proper' teaching. I have also worked alongside some of the brightest, most enthusiastic tutors who understand that technoloy is ONE of the many tools required in the classroom.

Some suck ass, some are awesome. Often the best tech support are the most emotionally stunted, often its the exact opposite. All i would say is this:

The kids who invested their time to find out more about these new machines called computers and see what they could do with them made our world absolutely fucking awesome. A toast to the hackers, the crackers, the cyberpunks and the geeks! Thank you for freedom of information, gaming, virtual worlds, MP3s and space travel. Thank you for weather modeling, nanotech, CGI and MUTHA FUCKING ROBOTS!

That does not mean you ya grumpy fucker. Get out of the office once in a while and do something amazing with your skills. Checking other folks emails for porn does not count.
(Sun 27th Sep 2009, 23:05, More)

» Letters they'll never read

dear british public
I declare the 4th of may (star wars day) 2010 to be the day we let it be known we are not best pleased with the powers that be. I, with humility, suggest we use the most terrifying tactic at our disposal to make our presence felt. This tactic, known as 'having a bit of a laugh' will render this nation senseless in fear. I suggest each and every one of us takes to the street in a hooded top/fancy dress/police uniform, drink in hand and have meaningful conversations with our friends and neighbours. I suggest we have street parties and BBQs with much jollity and the sounds of uncensored music. I suggest we knock on each others doors and ask what we think about things.

I think the world of you, you bunch of nutters, so lets argue until dawn and sort this stupid world out. It can't be that hard.

Yours, with respect,
DPB
(Thu 4th Mar 2010, 21:47, More)

» Random Acts of Kindness

The nurses at the nursing home where my dad passed on. (edit: Lack of Funnies Warning)
They are incredible. I'm not sure about giving peoples names here but needless to say they were all brilliant the personal nurses who looked after my dad were professional, caring, kind, funny and loving. They also looked after my mum, and me, with the same level of care. We went back today to get his stuff and goddam it they way they were with my mum was heart-wrenching. I would never have got through with out them.

They got us all through a horrible time in the best way possible. Now if you'll excuse me i have something in my eye.

fuck it, they've earned naming. Aldingham Nursing Home, nr Ulverston, you are incredible.

(second edit: sod yer random acts, it was kindness.)
(Mon 13th Feb 2012, 21:48, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

i think most of us behave like kids
thats what makes b3ta so wonderful. i have a few tales but mostly the usual, so i shall tell you about my dad.

He's 70 odd and bright as a button though some troubles with his heart and such have led him to spend some time in hospitals. Without fail i shall be pushing him down the corridor chatting about all kinds of stuff and as we approach a group of other folk he will loudly say, in a deranged voice

"Have i had my breakfast?!" and i will immediatly crack up and 'laugh horribly at the poor old man"

oh and on occasion he will tell folk how mean i am to him. i am over a foot taller than him and a big old dreadlocked crusty. if i didnt find it so funny i'd cringe :D

he behaves like he's 8 and i am doing my best to follow in his footsteps
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 23:36, More)