» I don't understand the attraction

50 cent. Tupac. all the other fucks riding IceT
"I used to push drugs". Awesome. you fuck.

"Look how many whores i have! I'm king of the pimps" Dude. they are whores. i am not particularly impressed by your infested drug-addled whores smearing themselves all over you for money. If they ARE actually working for you then thats worse. you fuck.

"I got all this money!" well done. you have earned money by pretending to be edgey and by selling your soul to produce yet another tune about how rich you are and which overpriced nice things you own over yet another slight variation of another tune by a real artist you ripped off and put your over produced version of a donk on to teenies and the educationally and culturally subnormal. you fuck.

"I got all this gold" yes. it goes very well with your tracksuit. you fuck.

"i got shot x times!" i have never got shot. its not my ambition to be shot. many many people have not been shot even once. it is not something that i am impressed by. you are bascially saying "i was such a crap criminal that my own people shot me. more than once. i'm that rubbish" you fuck.

you got where you are and stay there, by WORKING HARD. Just once tell your fanboys that. Tell them that, in actual fact, you dont get stoned and drunk all day, you dont rob anything not nailed down, you don't hang around bus shelters. Tell them you worked hard, you focused on your goal and that the last fucking thing you ever want to do again is be a fucking street thug. It is not an effective career progression to smoke weed and rob pushbikes in a rundown council estate if you intend to live in LA with the hollywood gliteratti. You fuck.

edit: i should say i dont understand how folk dont see through this act. i dont understand the attraction of someone who is basically saying "i am luckier, richer, better than you you horrible worthless scum" in song after song after song. and they lap it up! ffs

dont even get me onto middle class media students who 'dont really watch films' ffs
(Fri 16th Oct 2009, 19:25, More)

» IT Support

I'm kind of an IT bod
with very little skill or any kind of quals. manly because the folk around me know i like future tech and scifi and look a bit like someone who might be a techhead. I have actually worked in 'Information technology' rather than 'i know about computers' and i still think IT is a stupid name for what most IT depts do. Anyway!..

i have dealt with enough utter bastards who's only worth to society (and they know it) is their ability to know the insides of a computer. I have also worked with supportive, witty, sociable folk who LOVE to pass on their skills and enthusiasm for tech to those who struggle with it.

I have dealt with tutors who are meant to be teaching 17 year olds (a generationwho have grown up with the intermanet and digital technology) and see computers as somethign that gets in the way of 'proper' teaching. I have also worked alongside some of the brightest, most enthusiastic tutors who understand that technoloy is ONE of the many tools required in the classroom.

Some suck ass, some are awesome. Often the best tech support are the most emotionally stunted, often its the exact opposite. All i would say is this:

The kids who invested their time to find out more about these new machines called computers and see what they could do with them made our world absolutely fucking awesome. A toast to the hackers, the crackers, the cyberpunks and the geeks! Thank you for freedom of information, gaming, virtual worlds, MP3s and space travel. Thank you for weather modeling, nanotech, CGI and MUTHA FUCKING ROBOTS!

That does not mean you ya grumpy fucker. Get out of the office once in a while and do something amazing with your skills. Checking other folks emails for porn does not count.
(Sun 27th Sep 2009, 23:05, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

i think most of us behave like kids
thats what makes b3ta so wonderful. i have a few tales but mostly the usual, so i shall tell you about my dad.

He's 70 odd and bright as a button though some troubles with his heart and such have led him to spend some time in hospitals. Without fail i shall be pushing him down the corridor chatting about all kinds of stuff and as we approach a group of other folk he will loudly say, in a deranged voice

"Have i had my breakfast?!" and i will immediatly crack up and 'laugh horribly at the poor old man"

oh and on occasion he will tell folk how mean i am to him. i am over a foot taller than him and a big old dreadlocked crusty. if i didnt find it so funny i'd cringe :D

he behaves like he's 8 and i am doing my best to follow in his footsteps
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 23:36, More)

» The Dark

I like the dark
dear god that sounds sinister. but i actually do, spending my teens in the country and fells of the lakes i used to love walking over the hills in the moonlight. Used to wander through the woods too but that could scare me stupid. My favourite jaunt was up the Old Man (big mountain behind my house, not a generic 'old man') to watch the sun rise. Something everyone should do at least once.

Anyway! some stories from my night time jaunts. bugger the length...

1) I used to walk back form my job cleaning pots. I would cut along the lake and through some woods/campsites and along a disused railway track. I was a Fields of the Nephilim fan (touring again btw) and dressed the part. Long coat. Wide brim hat. All black.
Picture 6ft odd me wandering alone a track on a moonless night, walkman up loud and pausing to roll a smoke. I didnt hear the oncoming group who were walking back later from the pub. They didnt hear me silently rolling a fag in the gloom as they giggled about how dark it was. As the lighter flared and revealed my silouette their screams from about 3 feet away quite but the wind up me. I couldn't actually speak to apologise for a while. they seemed to be rather on edge too.

I did the same every time i could after that. sometimes with friends :D

2) further along the disused railway line was the most terrorfying thing in my world. THE GOAT HEADED POST!

this evil pagan symbol used to loom out of the gap in the trees just in time to give me the utter frights. I mean the whole jump/eep/noooo!/spreading sinking fear, fighting the urge to run (everyone knows if you give in it gets worse) etc. Every bloody time. In the daylight, however, it was simply an old sheep skull on a fence post. At night it was the face of the Beast come to rend me asunder. Who put it there in jolly humour one day?

Me. FFS I'm such a dickhead.

3)Bottle of scotch, few pre-rolleds, walkman. Time for a walk up the Old Man. The moon went behind some clouds and it went VERY dark. I never carried a torch due to my excellent night vision (which isnt that excellent as you will see). Ah well, i knew the route and where the drops are, shouldnt be an issue, so on i walk. I crest the summit, take a seat and wait for dawn, merrily singing along to the Nephs, Ministry, and such like. You know, growly strange songs about great cthulhu, killing, the usual stuff. As the first glimmers of dawn touched the stones around me i noticed some strange features. Rocks or hills i hadnt seen before. Hmmmm. The Sun spread its glow across the fells and revealed more. I took the headphones out and heard the gentle whispering of children. Ah. That would be the bivvying scouts i was sitting amoungst. I thought it best to leave at that point. thank god i was drunk or i would have missed standing on one of them as i wobbled away :/

the last one still makes me feel an utter bastard. Did they ask me to be quiet and i didnt hear? did they lie frozen in terror (I would freak right out NOW, let alone then!)? arg! poor buggers :(
(Fri 24th Jul 2009, 20:26, More)

» Presents

when pretty skint (as per bloody usual)
i took a mate who was joining my family as he didn't have much place else to go up the hill behind my folks house (google maps link in replies for the mapgeeks), lit a small fire in the frost from twigs i'd grabbed as we went and warmed two post-thermos metal mugs of coffee before chucking far too much brandy in it and sparking up.

"Happy Christmas Mate. I got you a view"

I'm pretty proud of that one. Better than i usually do.

(edit: added a link on how to get there, has some pics)
(Tue 1st Dec 2009, 10:57, More)