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- a member for 16 years, 5 months and 23 days
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» Vomit Pt2
Perfect Spew
It was a friends 18th birthday and following the Aussie stereotype we had a big BBQ and pool party. The birthday boy and our group of close friends had started drinking at 11 that morning so by 9 o'clock we were feeling pretty sloppy.
It was decided that now was the time to replace some vital nutrients lost to a day of solid drinking. Pizza would be our fuel for the night, and it was promptly ordered.
Now my friend, who I will remind you, has just just turned 18 and was probably drinking the hardest out of us all turns to me after his 3rd piece of pizza and says in a Ralph Wiggum voice, "I don't feel right.." and promptly spews a full slice of pizza into his hand.
I thought this guy was a magician because no one can chuck up a full slice of pizza and have it land straight into your hand. Turns out he is part duck.
The clincher.... he re-ate that slice of pizza.
First post. Be nice.
(Fri 8th Jan 2010, 4:24, More)
Perfect Spew
It was a friends 18th birthday and following the Aussie stereotype we had a big BBQ and pool party. The birthday boy and our group of close friends had started drinking at 11 that morning so by 9 o'clock we were feeling pretty sloppy.
It was decided that now was the time to replace some vital nutrients lost to a day of solid drinking. Pizza would be our fuel for the night, and it was promptly ordered.
Now my friend, who I will remind you, has just just turned 18 and was probably drinking the hardest out of us all turns to me after his 3rd piece of pizza and says in a Ralph Wiggum voice, "I don't feel right.." and promptly spews a full slice of pizza into his hand.
I thought this guy was a magician because no one can chuck up a full slice of pizza and have it land straight into your hand. Turns out he is part duck.
The clincher.... he re-ate that slice of pizza.
First post. Be nice.
(Fri 8th Jan 2010, 4:24, More)
» Unusual talents
belly button
everyone has one but i've never found anyone who can do with theirs what i can do with mine. I can turn it inside out so it is like a pregnant ladies ''snooze'' button, and if you poke it back in it will suction onto your finger.
I figure there has got to be someone out there with this same skill. Please tell me i'm not a freak.
(Thu 18th Nov 2010, 15:25, More)
belly button
everyone has one but i've never found anyone who can do with theirs what i can do with mine. I can turn it inside out so it is like a pregnant ladies ''snooze'' button, and if you poke it back in it will suction onto your finger.
I figure there has got to be someone out there with this same skill. Please tell me i'm not a freak.
(Thu 18th Nov 2010, 15:25, More)
» Ouch!
oo my nards!
Summer of grade 10 and my current gf and I were starting to take things a little more seriously. Most of the guys on the soccer team had already lost their "V" plates and were talking about how girls liked it better bald.
This, I thought, makes alot of sense. Reason 1: your manhood looks much, much bigger. Reason 2: Girls don't like sucking on hairy nuts.
Shaved it is then. Unfortunately the only "shaving" I had done was to wisk off the hardly visible peach fuzz around my top lip. "How hard could it be?" says me.
I was doomed from the start. Not using cream or soap, not knowing to shave with the hair grain, and not being able to control a razor well. Result? I got a little nick. It bled alot.
How do I stop the bleeding thinks I? Well Homer Simpson uses little squares of toilet paper, but I didn't think that would work with this gusher. AHHA! I know. Aftershave tingles a bit but stops blood flow on my face...
length? about 5 seconds of mind searing pain. Then a month as the stubble started to regrow and ingrow.
(Sat 31st Jul 2010, 8:14, More)
oo my nards!
Summer of grade 10 and my current gf and I were starting to take things a little more seriously. Most of the guys on the soccer team had already lost their "V" plates and were talking about how girls liked it better bald.
This, I thought, makes alot of sense. Reason 1: your manhood looks much, much bigger. Reason 2: Girls don't like sucking on hairy nuts.
Shaved it is then. Unfortunately the only "shaving" I had done was to wisk off the hardly visible peach fuzz around my top lip. "How hard could it be?" says me.
I was doomed from the start. Not using cream or soap, not knowing to shave with the hair grain, and not being able to control a razor well. Result? I got a little nick. It bled alot.
How do I stop the bleeding thinks I? Well Homer Simpson uses little squares of toilet paper, but I didn't think that would work with this gusher. AHHA! I know. Aftershave tingles a bit but stops blood flow on my face...
length? about 5 seconds of mind searing pain. Then a month as the stubble started to regrow and ingrow.
(Sat 31st Jul 2010, 8:14, More)
» "You're doing it wrong"
Little did i know...
I still remember using a urinal in the first bar I ever went into.
Being the oldest child in my family I didn't get the privilege of using an older brother's id to sneak into a pub/bar. So upon arrival in Australia, where the drinking age is a year lower than back home I practically kicked the doors down at the nearest bar. After many drinks were drank off I went to the men's room. Now I'm used to the stereotypical wrap around and give you privacy sort of urinal found in schools and libraries, so I was a little startled to see the trough. This one in particular was so bizarre to me i had to stop and think about how to operate it. Let me try to describe it to you... basically a wall of stainless steel with water flowing down it (I've since found that the water transfers the stream downwards to prevent splash back) and a grate that you stand on with more water flowing to the drain under it. Well I didn't want to muck up the pretty stainless steel trough by getting my dirty shoes all over it. So I stood well back, down the step, and basically pushed as hard as I could to get enough force to make it over the step, and over the grate and onto the back wall.
Fortunately there wasn't anyone in the room with me for all but the last trip of the night. There I was, like a red faced baboon, back arched, pushing for all I was worth when my buddy stepped up on the grate and looked over at me like wtf are you doing? I nearly died.
(Mon 19th Jul 2010, 16:41, More)
Little did i know...
I still remember using a urinal in the first bar I ever went into.
Being the oldest child in my family I didn't get the privilege of using an older brother's id to sneak into a pub/bar. So upon arrival in Australia, where the drinking age is a year lower than back home I practically kicked the doors down at the nearest bar. After many drinks were drank off I went to the men's room. Now I'm used to the stereotypical wrap around and give you privacy sort of urinal found in schools and libraries, so I was a little startled to see the trough. This one in particular was so bizarre to me i had to stop and think about how to operate it. Let me try to describe it to you... basically a wall of stainless steel with water flowing down it (I've since found that the water transfers the stream downwards to prevent splash back) and a grate that you stand on with more water flowing to the drain under it. Well I didn't want to muck up the pretty stainless steel trough by getting my dirty shoes all over it. So I stood well back, down the step, and basically pushed as hard as I could to get enough force to make it over the step, and over the grate and onto the back wall.
Fortunately there wasn't anyone in the room with me for all but the last trip of the night. There I was, like a red faced baboon, back arched, pushing for all I was worth when my buddy stepped up on the grate and looked over at me like wtf are you doing? I nearly died.
(Mon 19th Jul 2010, 16:41, More)