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- a member for 16 years, 5 months and 15 days
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- has posted 14 stories and 12 replies on question of the week
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» Bastard Colleagues
At work
At work i can quite easily handle the annoying twunts who after 2 years still have no idea how to do their jobs...not everyones perfect
I can handle 2 of the guys "pretending" to be gay every second of every day....some people like to seem comfortable with their sexuality i suppose.
i'm even fine with my boss cocking up and trying to pin it on me on a fairly regualr basis
But what i will NOT HAVE...is some twat of a colleague taking MY last fucking bicuit from my sacred biscuit tin in the two minute gap im in the bog.
OH NO! IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN THERE WILL BE BODIES!
!
(Sat 26th Jan 2008, 21:23, More)
At work
At work i can quite easily handle the annoying twunts who after 2 years still have no idea how to do their jobs...not everyones perfect
I can handle 2 of the guys "pretending" to be gay every second of every day....some people like to seem comfortable with their sexuality i suppose.
i'm even fine with my boss cocking up and trying to pin it on me on a fairly regualr basis
But what i will NOT HAVE...is some twat of a colleague taking MY last fucking bicuit from my sacred biscuit tin in the two minute gap im in the bog.
OH NO! IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN THERE WILL BE BODIES!
!
(Sat 26th Jan 2008, 21:23, More)
» Evil Pranks
Me old man
Whenever my dad used to give me a lift from somewhere and my mates were watching he'd wait until i had my hand near the door handle and drive forward a few metres. This would be repeated for awhile and more often than not he'd have me running around in circles, looking like a prat and my mates laughing their arses off...wanker. ah well i see the funny side now.
tara
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 21:18, More)
Me old man
Whenever my dad used to give me a lift from somewhere and my mates were watching he'd wait until i had my hand near the door handle and drive forward a few metres. This would be repeated for awhile and more often than not he'd have me running around in circles, looking like a prat and my mates laughing their arses off...wanker. ah well i see the funny side now.
tara
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 21:18, More)
» Desperate Times
desperate
so i'm at work contemplating life...imagining how cool it would be if i were a superhero...thinking what would i do if i had a billion quid, you know, standard work thoughts.
consequently it had been months since i'd had anything even close to sex:-( compulsive masturbation and downloaded porn just wern't cutting it any more...i needed action...anything...i was desperate.
It just so happened that one of my coworkers was a purple haired(dyed obviously) beauty, with tits the size of boulders. i spent many a work shift drooling over her.
At this time it was approaching christmas, and at work instead of exchanging cards etc, we used to buy this huge board thing where "amusing" pictures of each worker was stuck on and sighned. Like a large christmas card from everybody too everybody. I don't photograph well...fact, and one of the other lasses had the great idea of making me where a dress whilst taking the picture for laughs(whoooooo). Of course like a man i initially refused, but these two girls kept going on and on and on. Each time they asked it was met with a refusal untill.....the purpl haired beauty said she'd flash me her tits if i did it. I was 16 and desperate, it wasn't exactly her lying on her back on the staff table with me bonking her lights out but it was something-remember i ahdn't had any sort of action, not even a snog in months) so quick as a flash i put on this dress and they take picture after picture...i beleive i may have even pulled a girly pose at one point. After what felt like a deade in this dress it was her turn...she did...i saw for about a billionth of a second the greatest pair of tits i have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on.
It lasted a second
The picture lasted a lifetime...they never did take it off the staff feking wall, even after feking christmas was up. To this day it still comes up in almost every conversation, even my parents saw it.
I hate dresses...I hate work.....and most of all i hate motherfeking christmas!!!!
argh i think i'll go shove mi dick in a blender......less painful than my many stories of embarressment. One day i'll tell you about the lil sisters knickers in my P.E. bag story.
Untill then tara
(Sun 18th Nov 2007, 20:07, More)
desperate
so i'm at work contemplating life...imagining how cool it would be if i were a superhero...thinking what would i do if i had a billion quid, you know, standard work thoughts.
consequently it had been months since i'd had anything even close to sex:-( compulsive masturbation and downloaded porn just wern't cutting it any more...i needed action...anything...i was desperate.
It just so happened that one of my coworkers was a purple haired(dyed obviously) beauty, with tits the size of boulders. i spent many a work shift drooling over her.
At this time it was approaching christmas, and at work instead of exchanging cards etc, we used to buy this huge board thing where "amusing" pictures of each worker was stuck on and sighned. Like a large christmas card from everybody too everybody. I don't photograph well...fact, and one of the other lasses had the great idea of making me where a dress whilst taking the picture for laughs(whoooooo). Of course like a man i initially refused, but these two girls kept going on and on and on. Each time they asked it was met with a refusal untill.....the purpl haired beauty said she'd flash me her tits if i did it. I was 16 and desperate, it wasn't exactly her lying on her back on the staff table with me bonking her lights out but it was something-remember i ahdn't had any sort of action, not even a snog in months) so quick as a flash i put on this dress and they take picture after picture...i beleive i may have even pulled a girly pose at one point. After what felt like a deade in this dress it was her turn...she did...i saw for about a billionth of a second the greatest pair of tits i have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on.
It lasted a second
The picture lasted a lifetime...they never did take it off the staff feking wall, even after feking christmas was up. To this day it still comes up in almost every conversation, even my parents saw it.
I hate dresses...I hate work.....and most of all i hate motherfeking christmas!!!!
argh i think i'll go shove mi dick in a blender......less painful than my many stories of embarressment. One day i'll tell you about the lil sisters knickers in my P.E. bag story.
Untill then tara
(Sun 18th Nov 2007, 20:07, More)
» Festivals
reading festival 2007
The year is 2007 and i am throughly enjoying my first ever music festival.
Me and two of my friends are walking along the campsite to our tents, when a young lady of about the same age bumps into me pretty hard, almost knocking me over, and making me drop my beer.
"watch where your going love"...and sauntered off....rather cooly if i do say so myself.
she went mental. Started yelling at me about how it was my fault for not looking where i was going, and that i was a complete dickhead. I cowered in shame as she literally went red in the face screaming at me, the occasional wimper escaping from my frightened mouth. Eventually the abuse stopped and she stormed off.
At this stage my friends were absolutely pissing themselves laughing at me. So as she walked off, I thought i'd yell something at her to save what little dignity i had left.
I'm sure many people know the feeling of trying to think up an insult on the spot and it failing miserably. So in as loud a voice as i could muster I yelled at her:
"well.....you've got rubbish hair!!"
Even the bloke in the fucking angels and airwaves t-shirt shook his head at me.
(Thu 4th Jun 2009, 20:15, More)
reading festival 2007
The year is 2007 and i am throughly enjoying my first ever music festival.
Me and two of my friends are walking along the campsite to our tents, when a young lady of about the same age bumps into me pretty hard, almost knocking me over, and making me drop my beer.
"watch where your going love"...and sauntered off....rather cooly if i do say so myself.
she went mental. Started yelling at me about how it was my fault for not looking where i was going, and that i was a complete dickhead. I cowered in shame as she literally went red in the face screaming at me, the occasional wimper escaping from my frightened mouth. Eventually the abuse stopped and she stormed off.
At this stage my friends were absolutely pissing themselves laughing at me. So as she walked off, I thought i'd yell something at her to save what little dignity i had left.
I'm sure many people know the feeling of trying to think up an insult on the spot and it failing miserably. So in as loud a voice as i could muster I yelled at her:
"well.....you've got rubbish hair!!"
Even the bloke in the fucking angels and airwaves t-shirt shook his head at me.
(Thu 4th Jun 2009, 20:15, More)