» School Days

I feel so embarrassed
I've never done this before, but I think it's time to repeat an story I've already told you (peaosomething, Word doesn't recognize it, is it real?)

Anyway, here it goes:

I have a few answers for this QOTW, but I’m too shy for this. Some of them involve being caught when having sex. Some of them vomiting in inappropriate places. However, the most embarrassing moment of my live happened when I was only 7 years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I was at school, wearing my school uniform. To this day I still can’t understand why my mother would insist on my wearing these very thick wool tights when the coldest temperature was 16degC. But there I was. My belly was feeling funny, so I tried the toilet, but it didn’t work. So back to the playground. I had a very vivid imagination (still have) and I liked being on my own. I think I would have been diagnosed with Autism if it wasn’t because my friends would drag me out of myself so I invented games for them.

So there I was, thinking my things outside the toilet. My belly feeling funny. And I farted. Just a little tiny fart, you know. Kid’s fart. And stay there, outside the toilet, thinking my things (I can see myself right now, with my face of “wonderland”). Then one of my friends called me to play, and I went.

While I was walking, I felt something strange under my pants. Mmmm… I touched and… OMG!!! How could that happened!! How could that be!! It couldn’t be true!!! All of a sudden, I had grown a little bunny’s tail!!!

My friend called me again and I forgot about it.

Lunch time passed; afternoon lessons too; and I went home, thinking, while walking, on my little bunny’s tail. Until it was bath time and my mother started undressing me. Suddenly she shouted “Abe!! What’s that!! You did a poo on your pants!!!”
“Really?” Said I with relief “I thought I had grown a little bunny’s tail!”

I didn’t understand my mother’s laugh; but slowly, very slowly, I started to realize what I had done. It took me time, but for days, weeks, months… what the hell! Still nowadays friends and family come and ask me for my little bunny’s tail. I’m 28. It stopped being funny the same day that it happened.

I’ve done things that would be embarrassing for a lot of people, but this one, by far, is the worst for me.

I can’t believe I’ve told you all about it.
(Thu 29th Jan 2009, 14:04, More)

» Cringe!

My little bunny's tail
I have a few answers for this QOTW, but I’m too shy for this. Some of them involve being caught when having sex. Some of them vomiting in inappropriate places. However, the most embarrassing moment of my live happened when I was only 7 years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I was at school, wearing my school uniform. To this day I still can’t understand why my mother would insist on my wearing these very thick wool tights when the coldest temperature was 16degC. But there I was. My belly was feeling funny, so I tried the toilet, but it didn’t work. So back to the playground. I had a very vivid imagination (still have) and I liked being on my own. I think I would have been diagnosed with Autism if it wasn’t because my friends would drag me out of myself so I invented games for them.

So there I was, thinking my things outside the toilet. My belly feeling funny. And I farted. Just a little tiny fart, you know. Kid’s fart. And stay there, outside the toilet, thinking my things (I can see myself right now, with my face of “wonderland”). Then one of my friends called me to play, and I went.

While I was walking, I felt something strange under my pants. Mmmm… I touched and… OMG!!! How could that happened!! How could that be!! It couldn’t be true!!! All of a sudden, I had grown a little bunny’s tail!!!

My friend called me again and I forgot about it.

Lunch time passed; afternoon lessons too; and I went home, thinking, while walking, on my little bunny’s tail. Until it was bath time and my mother started undressing me. Suddenly she shouted “Abe!! What’s that!! You did a poo on your pants!!!”
“Really?” Said I with relief “I thought I had grown a little bunny’s tail!”

I didn’t understand my mother’s laugh; but slowly, very slowly, I started to realize what I had done. It took me time, but for days, weeks, months… what the hell! Still nowadays friends and family come and ask me for my little bunny’s tail. I’m 28. It stopped being funny the same day that it happened.

I’ve done things that would be embarrassing for a lot of people, but this one, by far, is the worst for me.

I can’t believe I’ve told you all about it.
(Fri 28th Nov 2008, 12:45, More)

» Advice from Old People

When I got my first period
I don't know if my father counts as an old person, but this was one of the "best" pieces of advice I ever got.

When I got my first period I got quite scared and depressed, thinking "Perfect, I'm going to be bleeding every single month until I'm so old that I won't care anymore"

That day my father called me to his room and made me sit next to him in the bed:

He: So, I've heard you're a woman now
Me: mmmmm (slight nod)
He: Don't leave any visible mark anywhere.

...as if I was planning to...
(Mon 23rd Jun 2008, 12:10, More)

» Eccentrics

My father is the definition of eccentric
After reading this, some of you will be forever sorry for me. Some of you will be scared. The few of you who know me will nod and think: “oh, that explains…” Ladies, gentlemen and people of unidentified gender; let me introduce you to My Father.

I’m not going to bore you with all the small eccentric details of his live. Just to start, he’s got his very personal timetable. He sleeps when he’s tired; he eats when he’s hungry. He’s always being like that and drives my mother nuts when we go visiting other people. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t because there is something he always does. Every day, it doesn’t matter if he’s tired or hungry. Every single day he has his coffee with milk and biscuits watching Dragon Ball (yes, the anime). And he’s 54 now.

Well, I hear you saying that’s not that bad. I’ll tell you something else, then. For more than a year, he got to the conclusion (who knows how) that people don’t need food to survive: just water, some vitamins and sun. So, for a long time he wouldn’t have any food (apart from the coffee and biscuits) and would spend hours having sunbathes completely naked in our terrace. He was 53 then. Not a pleasant view. He lost a lot of weight too.

Not enough? You want to know more? OK, then. Before that, he got to the conclusion that your body is regulated by the moon. Alright with women and the period, but he’s a man. Then, he would have “moonbathes” every night, naked too. He would cut his nails only when the moon was decreasing (they grow slower and stronger).

I don’t know if you’re tired by now. If you’re, go to the next post, but for those of you who still want to know more, here goes a small list of a few of his other eccentricities:

-Clothes just serve us. He wears them until they are rags (or until my mother puts them in the bin, but she knows she risks a big telling off)
-He never goes to the doctor. He cures himself, as everything in his body is controlled by the brain, and he’s got control of his brain.
-His identity card still says he lives in Barcelona, so he can’t use it for travelling even in Spain, despite the fact he’s been living 25 years in Tenerife. The reason behind is that he grow up in Barcelona and his mother’s home will always be his home, no the house he bought with my mother in Tenerife.

There are more, but this is getting too long. For those of you patient enough, just another two:

Once, when I was 14, as I walked in front of him at home, he said “Daughter, I’m going to die”.
I don’t know what he was expecting, honestly. I didn’t know what to do, and just kept walking. He’s still alive after 14 years.

And the last one. When his mum got Alzheimer, my uncle was the one who arranged everything. They were a bit upset before that (loooong story) but after that, they just didn’t talk to each other at all. When I asked my father why he hadn’t help my uncle with my grandma, he replied “Your uncle is very sick. He doesn’t know it, but he’s got the evil inside him. Helping his mother is helping him and, when in the future everybody goes against him because of the evil he’s got, he’ll say: well, at least it was me who looked after our mother”. So sweet…
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 10:43, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

Paris
This is a very long story, but I'll try to make it short.

I was in Paris after a lovely weekend, walking around the town with my friend, making some time to go to the airport, back to Manchester.

Then, some kids stole my wallet. I almost didn't see them. I couldn't run after them as I had all my luggage with me. They took the British wallet, full of pounds they can't use, with my credit cards and, most important, my ID card, which I needed to get into the plane.

I went to the police, and they gave me a letter explaining in bad English-Spanish-French that it was enough to take the plane. I knew it wasn't, but she insisted so much I finally gave up complaining.

We went to the airport and, obviusly, they didn't let me take the plane. I wasn't very nice with the staff, to be honest, but I was there, without money, without means to go back home, without a place to stay. And I started crying and shouting that the police had told me that paper was enough. No way. I then calmed down and asked what I had to do. Their answer:

Stupid woman: "Nothing, without passport you can't fly"
Me: "OK, I know, but how do I solve it? Where am I suppose to go. What can I do?"
Stupid woman: "Nothing, without passport you can't fly"
And repeat until you're tired.

So, no very nice up to now, is it?

First nice thing is what my friend did. She couldn't stay with me as her parents were going to Manchester next day, but she gave me her debit card so I didn't have to worry about money. Helped me to find a hotel (I was too stressed to think) and while I had to stay in Paris sorting a new passport, she would keep my phone topped up.

Second nice thing: another friend of mine found me tickets to flight back to England the same day I got the passport. He paid for them and, as the plane was going to Leeds, arranged a taxi to pick me up at the airport and take me to the train station, so I could take the train.

Things were looking brighter, but I wasn't safe yet.

The plane was delayed. Not incredible delayed, but as it was a late night flight, it was delayed enough as to know, before we had departed, that the last train to Manchester was gone.

I couldn't cope anymore, and cried like a baby. A lot. In the lounge, before getting into the plane. I asked the aircrew if they could ask if someone was going near Manchester and could give me a lift, but they replied it wasn't their job.

I know it might sound as if I was making things too bad. I could have stayed at the airport until the morning. Or go to a hotel. But I was a student, one of my first travels out, on my own, without money and very very scared.

Then, this nice old lady asked what happened. I'm not going to explain with detail how she conforted me all the travel, taking my mind out of my problems (correcting my English all the time). And then, when we got to the airport and the taxi driver came to pick me, she paid for the 2 hours he'd been waiting, and asked her husband to drive me all the way to Manchester, at I don't know what time in the morning.

The story is longer, and full of more bad things that make me not want to go back to Paris again. But this old couple drove me to my front door and didn't want anything from me. After insisting, I gave them the money for the petrol (or so they say, around £10 I think) and never asked for anything.

Next morning I called them to make sure they got home alright and say thank you again.

I've never been so grateful, and this post doesn't express a bit of what I feel for this couple.
(Tue 7th Oct 2008, 13:07, More)