» Shoplifting

churchlifting
When I was in primary school, four of us were entrusted with the task of counting out the pile of change in the back room of the office that going towards fixing the church roof. Being young and greedy, I palmed a quid and bought sweeties with it on my way home.

Eight years on, there's a huge sign outside the church asking for donations to fix the leaky roof... and every time I pass it I can't help feeling a twinge of guilt. Damn you, Bubbaloo.
(Mon 14th Jan 2008, 20:10, More)

» Public Sex

Not outside..
*unlurks*

the closest I've got to that is in a tent, which isn't that interesting.

Before leaving for uni, I used to work in a little independent clothes shop just up the road from my house. As the place was so tiny, when I worked it would only be me there, so I had my own set of keys to get in (you can probably see where this is going)..

Cue one late night last year, getting back into town after some house party, the boyfriend and I, both absolutely hammered and horny beyond all sense and meaning of the word, decide the best idea is to pass by the shop for some cuddles and fluffy tiem before going to my house. Less than thirty seconds away.

My memory goes hazy in that charming alcohol-fuelled way, so I have no idea if I even locked the door behind us again when we got in, but luckliy memory returns with the tearing off of clothes (literally in the case of my tights..), lying back on the counter and getting a thorough, delicious fucking. My legs buckled once I stood up again. We ran home afterwards giggling like loons, and now when I work the odd day there out of term time my otherwise boring day is slightly lightened knowing I got laid right in my place of employment.

And now, reading other people's stories, I realise just how lucky I was to not have had anyone passing by (the shop has a glass front -- we would've been easily visible from the street), or to have had anything furry appear and try to molest me or the boyf. Good times!

We'd do it in the changing room downstairs after I'd closed the shop on a few occasions.. is great seeing yourself getting taken from behind in a full-length mirror, I think.
(Sun 26th Apr 2009, 2:06, More)

» Spoilt Brats

I have many things to learn.
Having just come to uni, I have met many lovely people over the past month (even if a fair number of them tell me I sound 'well posh'). However, one of our housemates is a food-stealing, Abercrombie-clad little princess who transferred here from Liverpool because 'the course was amazing, but I just really didn't like the people there'.. o rly?
Nothing to do with the fact it is impossible to get along with you? Her boyfriend has come to stay almost every weekend too, which is fine under normal circumstances but he is a tosspot of epic proportions. One evening he criticised a dinner that she had hogged the kitchen for a good three hours or so to make, before telling one of the guys who had been promised a share in the huge meal that he should eff off and wait for him to have seconds.

The heartbreaking thing is that they lived less than twenty minutes' drive from where I come from, so all of my floor now hate Surrey kids. Believe me, I'm not spoilt, I am grateful for all I have.. Still, for my own safety I think I should lose the accent.
(Mon 13th Oct 2008, 18:53, More)

» Phobias

Bananas.
The cartoon Bananaman. I was terrified of him as a kid. I would run out of the room screaming as soon as he came on TV. As a result, I used to avoid eating bananas in case they made me, like that poor Eric, turn into the yellow-and-blue suited monster. I can only just about handle them now... Hm.
(Sun 13th Apr 2008, 20:38, More)

» Shoplifting

a more recent steal
One of my good friends decided to have an 18th birthday celebration at his house.

Later into the night, when I was pretty trashed, I overheard the birthday boy and some others discussing road signs and a great idea came into my head: I'LL GET A ROAD SIGN!!

Down a couple of roads and at the bottom of a very steep hill I went and picked up a huge 'ROAD CLOSED' sign: it was an armspan's wide, about 4ft high, and I am as weak as a kitten, so imagine the mirth of the people emerging from the pubs at the sight of a mashed girl in a very obvious bumblebee costume carrying (but mostly dragging) a road sign up a bastard steep hill.

However, when I got back the ungrateful cunt wasn't that impressed with his birthday present and I quickly forgot about it... until the morning. While sitting in the living room, painfully hungover, his mother asked us all who had taken the sign from the bottom of the hill that was now leant against the side of the house and everyone pointed to me. After getting the evil eye and a talk on how my drinking is getting 'out of hand', his father sternly told me to move it back.

I forgot to do so on my way out, and have been advised to steer clear of the house when his parents are in ever since.
Serves him right though for not taking his birthday present!!
(Tue 15th Jan 2008, 18:37, More)